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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22823182">Dar'buy'ce</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maggie_GoldenStar1530/pseuds/Maggie_GoldenStar1530'>Maggie_GoldenStar1530</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dar'Manda [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cats, Family Issues, Gen, On the Run, Post-Canon, Siblings, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:28:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,638</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22823182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maggie_GoldenStar1530/pseuds/Maggie_GoldenStar1530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(Hey, I bet a summary would be handy, wouldn't it?) </p><p>Six months after the events of season 1, Din shows up to grab his excommunicated foundling sister and they go on the run with the Kid and a cat. Many adventures ensue. Families are difficult. Extended families have extensive difficulties.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Baby Yoda &amp; The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV) &amp; Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dar'Manda [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>156</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Got bridges to burn, places to run</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Teryn sat on her roof, watching at the sunset. It was one of the moments where it felt like the universe was in perfect balance, everything was right with the galaxy. Those moments usually were closely followed by utter chaos, but that only made the moments of balance more cherished. Like getting a chance to take a breath before the storm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been nearly six months since she sent Din and the Ad’ika back into the sky on Arkanis. She and Andrys had come back, disposed of the bounty hunter, buried Chakaar (who had a warrior’s death), and went back into their lives. But it was different. He knew who she was and her entire story. She was able to tell him things about growing up Mando’a, which after ten years of holding it all back, had been a relief.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>About a month after parting ways on Arkanis, Din came back. He hadn’t sent any warning, and she could tell the second he stepped out of the Crest that something was horribly wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He told her what had happened on Navarro. About the Client. And Moff Gideon. And the IG unit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he told her what had happened to the Covert.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All of them?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think they got the foundlings out, and some others. Some were off-world. The Armorer was there when I left.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He told her what the Armorer had said about the Kid, about him being a Foundling. About being </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> Foundling. She cocked her eyebrow like </span>
  <em>
    <span>well, duh. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to tell you in person.” He paused. “You didn’t ask. But the answer is I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is the coward who stole my helmet still alive?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Din and the Kid left the next day with a crate full of fresh food and another crate of medical supplies. “You’re a father now, you have to actually take care of yourself, so… keep all this shit this time.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As she climbed down from the roof, she could hear her communicator blaring. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chaos rarely calls, it usually just shows up.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>There was a one word message from Din: “Viinir.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Run</span>
  </em>
  <span>.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He included a timestamp that indicated he would be there in two hours, and coordinates in the mountains. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not a lot of time to pack up a life.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>If he was telling her to run, that meant that he'd found out that someone was hunting her. She’d been sort of expecting this to happen at some point ever since he’d arrived with the Kid. She had been coasting on the hope that “some point” would be on the far side of never. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sloppy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Packing took up space that could have been filled by thinking, and that was a relief. Sorting through belongings quickly. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I had nothing when I got here. How did I get so many things in four years?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Clothing- just take things that were utilitarian, layers, useful, hard wearing. And the scarf Andrys bought because he said it reminded him of her eyes when she got angry. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Medical supplies- what could she bring with her, and what should be left for whatever doctor they got to replace her. Household goods- blankets. Her favorite pillow. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m not leaving my hammock behind. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Quickly flip through the small collection of books. Food. Spices. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dig up the stash of credits buried in the garden.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Weapons. Her armor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Atin, her loth cat, watched all this activity happening when it should have been approaching bedtime with growing concern. He chirped when she started loading the speeder. “I’m sure Andrys will take care of you. You can’t come.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Andrys</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d known him for almost nine years. They’d been through so much together. Most of the war. Everything since. He’d stuck by her even through some of the worst times of her life, patient, kind. He’d even been ready to throw down with Din just because Din had made her sad. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was going to devastate him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glanced at the chrono. She grabbed one last meat pie and started heading towards the mountains, driving slightly faster than was reasonable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the rendezvous point, tucked in a valley, she stopped the speeder behind some trees and waited, lights off. She heard a ship approaching, and crouched low, blaster drawn, just in case. The Razor Crest landed, running dark, and after a few minutes, Din opened the hatch. She made a short, sharp whistle, and he responded with a low whistle of his own. She went towards the ship, senses alert for anything out of the ordinary.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gideon is alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She felt the blood drain from her face. “Shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He has the records from Mandalore. He knows our names.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Which means he’d know that we had the same buir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he’d be able to find you.” He sighed. “You’ve been here a while. You’re known in the sector.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he’d use me to get to you. And the Kid.” She nodded numbly. “Okay. Okay, yeah. Yeah. Well. Shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. Did you have time to pack?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, and went to get the speeder. “This is what I’ve got. There’s food and meds in there, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not much.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s twice as much as I had when I got here.” They started loading. The Kid was inside, patiently waiting, and once he saw her, he made a happy trill of greeting. Then he started looking around impatiently. “I’m sorry, ad’ika, Atin is not-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid babbled something at the hatch, and an orange blur shot up the gangplank. The Kid shrieked in joy, and Atin headbutted him so hard he fell over. Din and Teryn looked at each other. “I did not-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He can’t-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid looked at them both, hands fisted in Atin’s fur, and babbled. Atin looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>smug.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Teryn and Din both sighed in resignation.  “Fine.” Din said, more to himself than anyone else. “We’ll figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They finished unloading the speeder, and Teryn frowned at it. “If we leave it here it’ll be pretty fucking obvious I jumped planet. There’s a ravine about a klick away. We should dump it there.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dump? Or set it on fire?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Both. I’m in a burning mood.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din got an extra can of the accelerant for his flamethrower, and they drove the ravine. At the edge, he sprayed the accelerant over the speeder, while she rigged it to go forward without a driver. He hit it with his flamethrower just as the speeder started moving, and it went over the edge and exploded.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not the most sophisticated method of faking one’s death that’s ever been done, but it’ll have to do.”  She let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “No time to acquire a corpse. Maybe if I'd had another hour.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked back to the Razor Crest. “You think they’ll buy it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most of them? Maybe. Probably.” She sighed. “Andrys probably won’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He doesn’t know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wasn’t time. And it’s better this way. He’d have spent the entire time arguing with me about why he should come along.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Would you want him too?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn’t answer for a long time. “I don’t know.” After another long pause, “Besides, if he thinks I ran off, then maybe he’ll just tell the imps that and they won’t try to force information out of anyone else.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din nodded. It was a hope. Neither one of them really believed it would be that easy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They climbed into the Razor Crest, and she watched another life drop away beneath her, the fire of the crashed speeder still burning.  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrys went to her house the next morning, and could tell immediately that something was wrong. The speeder wasn’t there, which wasn’t unusual. If there had been an emergency in the night, she might not be back yet. But the house was weirdly empty, like it simply no longer had an accupant. With a sinking feeling he poked around, noticing things that were simply missing. She liked to sleep with a pile of pillows and most of them were there, except for the one that was her avowed favorite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The entire contents of her spice cabinet. Her favorite mug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And while he could see Shabuir sunning himself on the wall, there was no sign of Atin. His food dishes were still there, but no sign of her stubborn shadow. She had left. Without a single fucking word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The planet’s mayor arrived not much later, her face sad and shocked. “I was hoping you’d be here. I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but… we found her speeder this morning, burned to a crisp. It looks like there was a crash, and… I’m so sorry.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Andrys looked back around at the house, and then at the mayor, and shook his head slightly. “No, that can’t be right…”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t miss much.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It's a pretty good bad idea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Everyone needs to learn new things. Like swearing. Or how to fly a ship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She tried to sleep a little, but her mind kept racing with <em> what did I forget, what did I leave behind. </em> She’d packed in less than an hour, trying to be smart and not let emotions get in the way. While she’d never been a particularly acquisitive person, being in the same place for a while with the space to put things meant that stuff had the chance to collect. A favorite mug that fit in the hand perfectly. An interesting rock. A collection of garden spades that she went through until she found one she liked the best. </p><p>She had a favorite spade, for fuck’s sake. Maybe it <em> had </em> been time to move on. </p><p>“You’re thinking very loudly.”</p><p>“Sorry.”  </p><p>“You wanna talk about it?”</p><p>“Not really.”</p><p>They settled into companionable silence. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Do we have a plan?”</p><p>“Not really. We’ll stop in Delphon to refuel and resupply. I have a job there- should be quick. Then we can figure out what to do.” </p><p>She nodded. “How’s the Kid doing?”</p><p>Din smiled under his helmet. He couldn’t help it. “He’s got a few words now. ‘No’ and ‘Want’ -we’re working on please- and…” His voice got a little gruff. “And ‘Buir’.”  </p><p>She grinned. “They pick up those first two pretty fast. And the last one. ‘Please’ takes a bit longer.” </p><p>“He understands a lot more, too. So, you know, watch the swearing.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. </p><p>They both turned at the sounds of the Kid starting to make fussy waking up noises. “He can see…” he gestured at his helmet. She nodded.</p><p>“I remember.” She settled further down into the seat and closed her eyes again, fingers twined in the scarf from Andrys. </p><p>Din went down the ladder. He didn’t have a plan, which had seemed like a perfectly reasonable way to live his life when it was just him. It wasn’t just him, now. He knew where the Covert was holed up, on Jelucan, but he had been reluctant to risk bringing more danger to their doorstep. With Teryn now with them, even that option was closed. Having the three of them on the ship was going to be tight, and tempers were bound to flare. </p><p>He also had a sneaking suspicion that the Kid would take her side in a fight, anyway. </p><p>Atin was curled up next to the Kid, and Din swore quietly to himself. He hadn’t thought through all of the implications of having the cat with them when he’d made the impulsive decision to let him stay. He boosted the cat up the ladder, waited until he heard Teryn speaking to him, and pulled off the helmet, rolling his neck. Mandalorian children got helmets young, and while they didn’t have to wear them all the time, it was necessary to build up the neck muscles. It was still a relief to take it off for a little while.</p><p>The Kid smiled up at him sleepily. “Buir!” He held up his arms to be picked up. Din picked him up for their usual post-nap snuggle. The Kid was always so happy to see him when he woke up. Early on, the Kid had been unsure, bordering on scared, after sleeping, afraid that he would be alone again. But nearly a year of the most stability Din could provide had helped a great deal. The Kid knew that his father would be there, one way or another. </p><p>After a short snuggle, and a demand for food, the Kid looked around. “At?”</p><p>“What? The cat? He’s up with your ba’vod-” He stopped. He’d called her vod’ika- little sister- when she’d been injured (<em>Be honest with yourself, Djarin, she’d been dying</em>). But he hadn’t called her that since, not out loud. But calling her the Kid’s ba’vodu, <em> father’s sibling </em>, had been so natural he hadn’t even thought about it.  </p><p>“At? Ati-?”  </p><p>“Are you trying to say Atin?”</p><p>The Kid smiled, like a tiny green sun. </p><p>Of course the Kid’s fourth word would be “Stubborn.”  </p><p> </p><p>Teryn had fallen asleep with Atin in her lap when they landed. He shook her awake after arranging for refueling. “We’re here.” </p><p>She yawned. “How long is this going to take?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t be more than a couple hours. Can you watch him? It’ll be easier.”</p><p>She nodded. “I’ll see if I can get the hold organized a little.” </p><p>He crouched down in front of the Kid. “I’m going out. You stay here and be good, okay?” He handed her a communicator. “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way back.” </p><p>“Are we… gonna have a guest?”  </p><p>“Not that kind of job. I’ll be back.” He left, and she went down with the Kid. They spent an hour  or so trying to sort out the hold in some semblance of order, repacking her things so it wasn’t all just randomly thrown and shoved into bags and boxes. </p><p>She talked to the Kid as she went, keeping up a running commentary. “I appear to have completely forgotten to pack socks, so, that’s something I’ll need to pick up. We also need a tray for Atin. Or to train him to use the evac tube.” </p><p>The Kid babbled in response. He liked it when his people talked to him. </p><p>“Really? You think it’ll be that hard?”</p><p>“No.” The Kid grinned proudly. </p><p>“I trained him to stay with you! He’s pretty smart.”</p><p>“No! Nononononono.” He giggled. </p><p>“Look at you, getting more words and sounds. You’re a lot more vocal than you were before.” </p><p>The Kid responded in very serious tones. </p><p>“I’m not surprised. I know he doesn’t talk a lot, but I bet he talks to you.”  She rubbed his ear gently. “When you’re older, I’ll tell you embarrassing stories about when he was a kid.”</p><p>The Kid looked hopeful and hummed. She hummed back. He narrowed his eyes and hummed more insistently. “Okay, okay. You want a song. <em> Laar</em>.”</p><p>“Laaa?” </p><p> </p><p>“The weather ain't the way it was before</p><p>Ain't no spring or fall at all anymore</p><p>It's either blazing hot or freezing cold</p><p>Any way the wind blows</p><p> </p><p>And there ain't a thing that you can do</p><p>When the weather takes a turn on you</p><p>'Cept for hurry up and hit the road</p><p>Any way the wind blows</p><p> </p><p>Wind comes up</p><p>Do you hear that sound?</p><p>Wind comes up</p><p>Move to another town</p><p>Ain't nobody gonna stick around</p><p>When the dark clouds roll</p><p>Any way the wind blows.”</p><p> </p><p>The Kid sighed contentedly. He preferred to be with his Buir, but she’ll do. She was nice, and she sang, and his Buir had an affection for her that he didn’t have for anyone else. Plus she came with the kitty, and Atin had decided upon meeting the Kid that the Kid was his best friend in the galaxy. The Kid did not disagree. </p><p>The communicator blared. “I’ve had a...complication. Can you, uh, fly over and meet me?”  </p><p>Teryn frowned. “I don’t know how to fly.”  </p><p>“Har’chaak!” </p><p>“I don’t!”</p><p>“What were you doing when we learned how to fly a ship?”</p><p>“Learning how to resect a bowel!”</p><p>“I’m gonna talk you through it.”  There was a long pause. “It’ll be fine.” He didn’t sound entirely convinced himself.</p><p>“This is a bad idea!” </p><p>“It’s-” there was a pause and she could hear blaster fire through the communicator. “It’s the best idea I’ve got, so GET UP THERE.” </p><p>“Son of a BITCH.” She shut the hatch and clambered up the ladder, boosting the Kid up. </p><p>“LANGUAGE.”</p><p>“I’ll show you some fucking language.” She buckled the Kid into his seat and stared at the control panel. “Okay. Uh. Now what?”</p><p>“You see the five little switches in a row? Flip those, left to right.”</p><p>“Okay, got it.”</p><p>“Next to them there’s a red switch and a green switch. Push them.”</p><p>“Which one first?”</p><p>“....red.” </p><p>“You don’t sound sure!”  </p><p>“JUST HIT IT.”</p><p>“OKAY. Now what?”</p><p>“Two red switches above your head, then you push the lever with the silver knob forward.”</p><p>“There’s no silver knob.”</p><p>“Yes there is!”</p><p>“NO THERE FUCKING ISN’T!” </p><p>“Fu! Fu fu fu!”</p><p>“Shit, he stole the knob again. The lever that has a screw top on it.” There was another blaster shot, and then Din said, “Is he saying-?”</p><p>“No? Why would you ask that. He's not. Engines are up. Now what?”</p><p>“Pull back on the control stick and you’ll take off and just… fly.”  </p><p>“This is such a bad idea.” She pulled back on the stick and whooped as they lifted off. “Where do we go? Where do I land? <em> How </em> do I land?” </p><p>“<em>Please do not land</em>. I see you, I’ll fly in. Open the hatch."</p><p>“Oh fuck.” </p><p>“Fuck!” The Kid mimicked, happily. </p><p>“THIS IS A BAD IDEA.” She opened the hatch and heard a crash as he landed on the floor. She steered the ship away, a death grip on the controls, and Din charged up the ladder. </p><p>“You did it. Let go. <em> Please</em>.” He removed her hands from the control and gave her a gentle shove out of the seat. “I think we should teach you to fly.” </p><p>“Okay, yeah, that one’s a good idea.” She shakily sat down behind Din. “That was scary.” </p><p>The Kid laughed delightedly as Din steered them into space. She glanced over. “Your buir is a disaster. An absolute disaster. Can you say ‘Kaysh shu’shuk’?”</p><p>“Kah SHU!” The Kid said with a happy grin. Din shook his head and sighed. </p><p>She laughed. “We’ll work on it.”   </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can repeat "please" and "thank you" five thousand times, and the little monsters won't say it, but drop one F-bomb and it's their new favorite word. </p><p>Ba'vodu: parent's sibling<br/>Laar: Song<br/>Har’chaak: Damn it<br/>Kaysh shu’shuk: He's a disaster. (Bless the Mando'a dictionary for having this VERY USEFUL PHRASE.)</p><p>"Any Way the Wind Blows" from Hadestown. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu0u-Kq170o  (uh. Listen to Hadestown, you guys. Go see it if you can. It's BRILLIANT.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Rather be the hunter than the prey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A typical day in the life of the residents of the Razor Crest. Sure, it's all fun and games and fluffy softness at first, but then there's the running and the shooting.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Flying lessons started the next day. Both of them vowed to themselves that they would be patient with the other one, but sibling habits die hard. Fortunately, the Razor Crest wasn’t a complicated ship to fly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you remember the startup sequence? This is insane!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s muscle memory for me at this point. You’re just gonna have to practice it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grumbled. He grumbled. The Kid joined in with the grumbling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This wasn’t intuitive, and it was frustrating. They had some rough take offs and a couple of really hard landings. “She doesn’t bounce! STOP IT.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d made a quick stop on Navarro, just long enough for Din to pick a couple of bounties. Teryn and the Kid didn’t even wake up, much to Cara’s irritation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid knew what to call his Buir, and he knew what to call Cara, and he usually just used a raspberry noise for Karga, but he didn’t know what to call the sad-eyed woman. If she was going to be around, he needed to know, and his Buir never seemed to call her anything. When the three of them were sitting around the cockpit, he decided to take things into his own claws. He climbed into his Buir’s lap and tapped Din’s helmet. “Buir!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid then looked at her, and made a questioning noise. She frowned slightly, brows furrowed, and Din cocked his head. The Kid sighed. His people were not smart sometimes. He tapped the helmet again, and said “Buir!” and looked at her again, and made a more insistent questioning noise.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” She said, realizing. Din never said her name. He hadn’t even called her vod’ika since that awful, endless night (and sometimes she wasn’t sure if what she remembered was even real). “You want to know what to call me. Te-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ba’vodu.” Din pointed at her and repeated, “Ba’vodu.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bav…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ba’vodu.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bavooooo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ducked her head. “Close enough.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<span>In another port on some other moon, she was out looking for socks (why was it so hard to find socks?), when she noticed a filthy, weeping small child holding a scraped knee on the side of the street. Habits die hard, and lost, sad small children are basically Mando’a bait. She crouched down. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The child sniffled, face dirty, snot running down her face, and her eyes flicked slightly to the left.  Without looking, Teryn’s hand snapped back and snagged the skinny wrist of another, equally filthy child. “Decoy bag, kid. Nice try, though.” The boy she had snagged started howling in absolutely vulgar Huttese, pulling at her grip like a trapped animal. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The child with the scraped knee froze, and Teryn snagged her with the other hand. “Come on. I’m gonna guess you haven’t had much to eat today.” She hauled them both into a nearby tavern and set them at a table. The boy continued to mutter darkly, speculating about her family and habits. “Kid, you’re about to get a free meal. So you wanna can it with the Huttese?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She signaled for food, and fixed the kids with a stink-eye. “Not a bad operation you've got going there. You work for a gang?” Neither kid answered. Teryn nodded, and waited until the food arrived, and held a bowl of stew up. “Gang?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The boy glanced at the girl, and muttered, “No. Mum.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn handed them both a bowl and a spoon, and they both started scarfing the stew. Teryn watched them, “Your mum has you picking pockets?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl shook her head, and whispered through a full mouth, “No, mum doesn’t know. But she’s sick.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn sighed. Din and the Kid were out on a hunt, and were likely to be back at the ship in the next couple of hours with a “guest.” Din did not like hanging around after picking up a bounty, but maybe there was something she could do.  She called the barkeep over. “Wrap me up more stew and some bread to go. And a kettle of hot water.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both kids eyed her suspiciously. “I’m a healer. Let’s take this to your mother.” Suspicion deepened even further, and they exchanged glances. The boy nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had two rooms in a building down a seedy alley. Some effort had been made to keep it passable, but it had been some time since their mother had had the energy. She was lying on the bed when the kids piled in, explaining a highly edited version of what had happened. “This nice lady-” “Stew!” “Brought some-” “She’s a healer-” “THE STEW IS SO GOOD, MUM.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn smiled. “Your daughter said you weren’t feeling well?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mother coughed, trying to hide the blood-stained cloth she held to her mouth. “It’s just this cough…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded. She knew this cough. Even without using her scanner, her instincts said there wasn’t much she could do, not without facilities this moon didn’t even have. “How long have you had it?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A couple of months. I started having a cough when I was a girl, working in the fabric mills. It got worse, and I couldn’t work anymore. I’m so sorry I don’t have anything to offer you...” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn looked at her fingers and saw a faint bluish tint under the fingernails. “Is there anyone who can help you?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pulled out her medscanner, did a quick scan, and frowned to herself. With luck, this poor woman would last three months. “I have some medicine on my ship, I’ll send your kids back with it? Can you read?” The woman nodded. “I’ll have instructions for you, as well. In the meantime, please eat.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The woman nodded again, and whispered, “thank you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn jerked her head at both kids. “Come on, we’re going to my ship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl’s chin started to wobble. “Are you taking us away?” The boy took a breath, about to start yelling. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn gasped. “Oh, no! No no, I have medicine, and I’m going to give you some to take back to your mom, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” The girl said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went back to the Crest, where Atin was keeping watch. He looked at the children, and then back at Teryn with an expression of utter betrayal. There was only one Kid he liked, and she was invading his sanctuary with unauthorized children. This would not stand. He fled to the cockpit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn rummaged around and put together a bag of medicines and some food, then looked at the girl’s scraped knee. “Want me to bandage that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As she cleaned up the knee, she gave them as much life advice as she could., “Your crying kid scam is good, but it needs a little work. When he approaches the mark, don’t look at him. That’s what gave him away. Be smart about your marks. Someone that’s bristling with weapons is good, they’re usually so full of themselves they don’t notice anything around them. Someone with only one blaster might not be. If you go into a fancier part of town, try to clean yourself up a little. If you’re too dirty, they’ll notice you. Don’t get greedy and hang around too long.”  She tucked a pouch of credits in with the medicines. “Also even if you had snagged my pouch, it had nothing in it but a rock.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is mum going to die?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn sighed. “Yes. Soon. You're going to have to take care of each other.” She put a hand on each of their shoulders. “It’s gonna be hard. But if you stay together and protect each other, you’ll get through it. Now. Go, and don’t let anyone take that bag. If anyone tries, </span>
  <em>
    <span>bite</span>
  </em>
  <span> them.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sent them down the ramp and back into town, where they ran past Din and the Kid, marching their bounty to the ship. He came in to see her rubbing her face, and shoved the bounty into the carbonite freezer. “What was that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me not adopting any foundlings.” He cocked his head, half in inquiry, and half in reproach. “I know, I know. But… their mother is dying and they’ll be on their own.” She took a shaky breath. “I just-” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew.  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid was hungry, and his buir was not understanding what he wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Foo’! Foo’!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You want food? Okay.” Din broke off a piece of bread. The Kid wrinkled his nose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! Foo’!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fruit?” The berries Din offered went flying across the hold. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“FOO’!” A chunk of meat joined the berries. Finally, in disgust, the Kid frowned, dug deep, and found the word he wanted. “SHEEEEEESE!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shee-? Oh. CHEESE.” The Kid grinned and made grabby hands. Finally, his disaster of a buir had figured it out.  </span><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>A few weeks later they had cycled back to the same moon, looking for another bounty. Din didn’t like it- this was supposed to be an unrelated job, and cycling back wasn’t the smartest idea for people trying to stay at least one step ahead of pursuit. But work was also work, and they agreed that going where the bounty lead was a good idea. They needed supplies, and the markets were pretty good there, so Teryn would handle that while Din took the Kid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simple. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The shopping was easy, and the prices of blaster charges was even reasonable. After getting things stored, Din had checked in and said he needed more time. Teryn went looking for the kids. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She found them, and watched proudly for a while as they worked their way across the plaza. They had talent, she had to admit, and they’d taken most of her advice to heart. They were being quick, they were clearly making choices, but, she sighed, they were getting a little greedy. At least one person had started watching them. It was time to end their run. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She walked through the crowd, bumping into as many people as possible. “Oh, sorry- I’m so clumsy. New shoes, you know?” One of the kids ran by, and she clapped a hand on a bony shoulder. He looked up, and gasped in recognition. “Time to go,” she hissed, and he nodded.  The girl saw her brother being led away, and charged, teeth bared. She stopped sharply when she saw who her brother was with. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn snickered. She couldn’t help it. She hauled them both back into the rats’ warren of the slums.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was hoping I’d find you two. How’s your mum?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s still sick. The medicine helped her, though.” Teryn pulled a packet out of her bag, along with another small pile of credits and passed it over to them. The kids looked at each other, and came to a joint decision. “That man we saw last time, near your ship. He was a Mandalorian, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded, wondering where this was going.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Enforcers here. They want a Mandalorian. With a child. They’re looking for him.” The boy said.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The girl nodded. “I heard there’s some big warlord or something that wants him. And that there might be a woman with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn’s stomach dropped. This was a trap. She nodded. “Have you heard anything about the ship they might use?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kids shook their heads. “They haven’t said anything about it. Just a Mando and a kid, and maybe a woman.” The boy jutted his chin in the air. “We didn’t see you. We ain’t gonna tell them nothing.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled at them, sent them on their way, and ducked down an alley. She had a communicator, but using speech would be risky. Using dadita, the Mandalorian code, she tapped “Oribru. Gaanaylir.” </span>
  <em>
    <span>Emergency. Trap.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He responded immediately with a location. She started off, trying to keep her face and body calm and neutral. </span>
  <em>
    <span>First rule of being on the run: walk, don’t run. </span>
  </em>
  <span> She was thinking furiously, though. Din would default to shooting his way out, but, she thought as she passed a troop of uniformed guards heading towards the shipyards, that’s not a great plan. She ducked into a shop when another batch of guards went by, and bought two large woolen shawls in muted colors. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glanced back at the guards, then up at a building she was passing, It was several stories taller than most of the ones around it. Recon. Recon is good. From the roof, she could see that several groups of guards were setting up blocks going to the shipyards, and they were examining everyone who went through. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hmmmmmm</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She climbed down, and went to the rendezvous point, where Din was in the shadows, with the Kid . “They’re looking for you. For </span>
  <em>
    <span>us.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Us? Who?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Remember the kids? They told me that the enforcers are looking for a Mando, with a kid, and maybe a woman. I just saw a bunch of them setting up blockades between here and the shipyards.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did they know why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something about a warlord. I think we know what that means.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yup.” She grimaced. “The only bright side is they don’t seem to know what ship we’re using.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s something.”  Din thought. “We should split up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. And… I should take him.” Din started shaking his head, and the Kid mimicked him. “No, seriously. They’re looking for a Mando with a kid. You can sneak out much easier without him. A woman and a baby? No one will look twice. We go to the Crest, take her up. You go away from the shipyard, out of town, find a spot where we can meet you, and then we get the fuck out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din sighed. “I don’t like it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fight smarter, not harder, ori'vod.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din thought for a minute, considering and discarding several plans, until he finally nodded. “Okay. Ad’ika? I’m gonna need you to be very good and very quiet for your ba’vodu, okay? Uur.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn pulled out one of the shawls and tied it into a sling around her body, and tucked the Kid in along her side. “K’uur, k’uur.” The Kid blinked, then reached up to pat Teryn’s nose. She smiled. “Good boy.” She draped the other shawl over her head, and tucked the ends around the Kid, so he was completely hidden from sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din looked at them both, thankful that the helmet meant they couldn’t see how worried he was. “K’oyacyi.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Send the coordinates to the ship when you find a spot.” She smiled in what she really hoped was an encouraging way.  “This will work. K’oyacyi.” Din headed down a tunnel and to the west. He glanced back, just in time to see Teryn slip out into the street. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This better work, vod’ika.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn headed back toward the shipyard, one arm protectively around the Kid, and the other hand down where she could draw her blaster if needed. With the shawl over her head, she looked like many other women on the street, blended in with the crowd. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid, blessedly, stayed still and quiet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they got closer to the shipyard, the crowd grew thicker. People were being herded to the main streets, forced to have to go through the barricades. Teryn willed her heart to stop pounding quite so hard, and made her way to the front of the line. She carefully arranged her face into a semblance of resigned fear, masking the annoyed fear she really felt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were five enforcers, which were dicey odds for her, regardless, but definitely not something she wanted to risk with the Kid. At the barrier, one enforcer stopped her. “Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, I’m just trying to get home.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He reached under the shawl over her head, and pulled out one of her braids and fingered the end. “Where do you live, little bird?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, the baby is sick. I just got him to sleep.” She tightened her grip on the Kid, and looked at him imploringly. “Please.” She hoped her tension was reading as fear and not as </span>
  <em>
    <span>how dare you speak to me, I should kill you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fingered her braid for a heartbeat more, breathing into her face, looked her up and down, and then jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Go on.” She relaxed the hand that had curled around her blaster. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, thank you. Thank you so much.” She scurried away, hunched over the Kid, and muttered. “Good job. Just a little further.” She brushed past a man with a hooded cloak as she fought every instinct to run. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“TERYN BRENNAN.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later she would wonder if she hadn’t flinched, if she’d managed to brazen it out and not react, would things have been less messy. But she did flinch, and at hearing the sounds of footsteps behind them, she broke into a dead run and ducked down the first alley. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right, and left, always trying to keep going generally in the direction of the shipyard. Ditch the shawl. See stairs going up the outside of a building. She remembered that the roofs of the slums were fairly flat and went almost all the way to the shipyard- there was a jump down of two levels, but that was a problem for later. She charged up the stairs, and up to the roof.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay ad’ika, we’re okay.”  The Kid cooed quietly. She paused to catch her breath, reorient herself, and see if anyone was following her up the stairs. She could hear shouting down in the alleys, and one person coming up the stairs. She didn’t want to use a blaster and give away their position, so she pulled her knife and waited. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One enforcer came up the stairs, with a drawn blaster, and he didn’t even look to his right to see Teryn waiting. Teryn let his body down quietly, and looked down at the Kid. “Sorry, bud, this is getting scary.” She stifled a laugh. “You’re probably used to it at this point.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She paused, and ran for the edge, heading directly for the shipyard, leaping over the narrow alleys. A lifetime ago, she could hear her training master yelling at the trainees to “plan your route, look where you’re going, know where you intend to place your feet.” It had been years since she’d done any run like this, but the training remained. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was something they had on their side, she supposed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could see the Razor Crest at the edge of the yard, and the drop from the roof was only about ten meters. “We can do this, right, ad’ika?” The Kid grinned. “Close enough.”  She took a deep breath, and ran for the edge and leapt into the air. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They didn’t fall as fast as she would have expected, and she was able to hit the ground in a semi-controlled forward roll to her feet. She set off at a dead run for Crest, hearing the sounds of pursuit behind her. She opened the hatch, and looked back. A squad of enforcers were running toward the ship, blasters drawn. She didn’t even let the hatch get all the way down before jumping up, firing a few shots and shutting it, slapping on the controls for ground defenses. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She put the kid and Atin in the sleeping compartment and shut the door. Then she climbed up to the cockpit and fired up the ship faster than she ever had in practice. She could feel a trickle of blood running down her face as she steered to the coordinates Din had sent. “Can’t land. Coming in hot. Fly in.” she panted into the communicator. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Got it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She steered the Crest around outside of the town, and opened the hatch, slowing down only as much as she dared. There was a thump and crash, and Din yelled, “Go! Go! They’re on our tail!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She steered up into the black, pulled up some random coordinates, and as soon as it was safe, hit the hyperdrive. “Can I come down?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din grunted a yes, and she climbed down to find him cuddling the Kid. “You get made?” The Kid looked none the worse for wear, for his part.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “Someone yelled my name. I didn’t see who.” She touched the blood on her forehead. “They didn’t see him, though. He’s okay?” He nodded and handed her a cleaning wipe. “Is this normal life for you? This is </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausting.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good job flying the ship.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were in hyperspace for a few hours, and they all had a chance to catch their breath, eat, and debrief. Teryn had no idea who had said her name, and couldn’t even say if it was a voice she recognized or not. Din wasn’t sure if the bounty he had been after was actually a trap, or if it had just been bad luck. Either way, a conversation with Karga needed to happen.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But all of that faded into the background when they dropped into normal space and Din received a communication from the Covert. It was a note from Paz Vizsla.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know if you’re planning on swinging by here anytime soon, but there’s a disease that’s affecting the Foundlings, and we’re low on supplies. Anything you might be able to bring would help.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din and Teryn stared at the communication. “Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p><br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>The Cheese Incident is drawn from life. My godkid was 18 months old, and also went for the expensive imported cheese and rejected the babybel they were offered. I've never been so proud in my life.  </p><p>Mando'a translations: </p><p>Buir: Parent<br/>Ba'vodu: Parent's Sibling<br/>Vod'ika: Little sibling<br/>Ori'vod: Older sibling<br/>Ad'ika: Little one, kid.<br/>Uur: Silence<br/>K'uur: Hush<br/>K’oyacyi: Stay alive<br/>dadita: code used by Mandalorians, like Morse<br/>Oribru: Emergency<br/>Gaanaylir: Trap</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I learned to live half alive</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"This is the Way."</p><p>"The Way is BULLSHIT."  </p><p>There's truth in alcohol.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They sat in silence for several long minutes, then Teryn said, “Do they have- I mean, is there…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. He died a few months after Navarro.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stared out the windscreen for a while, before she nodded. “Okay.” She looked at him, pale and sad and resigned and nodded again. “Okay. Yes. Obviously. Yes.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Yeah. Can you…” She rubbed her face with both hands and took a deep breath. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Focus on the problem in front of you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Can you find out what the symptoms are and what they need? I’ll go down and see what we have and start a list…” she stumbled down the ladder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din sighed as well. It was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>right</span>
  </em>
  <span> decision, it was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>correct</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing to do, but he didn’t know if they’d even allow her in. He didn’t know how any of this would go. But if she was willing to risk it, then that’s what they would do. It would be better, he thought, to not tell them he was bringing help. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Better to ask forgiveness...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He messaged Paz, and asked for the information she wanted. He also messaged Karga, saying that he’d be on Navarro the next day, and that they needed to talk. Even if he didn’t have a couple of bounties to offload, and needed to know what the deal was with that last job, between Karga’s connections and Cara, they’d be able to get anything the Covert needed quickly and discreetly. Besides, Cara had been annoyed the Kid had slept through the last stop they made. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could hear Teryn moving things around in the hold, and let her have her space. There would be precious little of that for her once they got to the Covert, he was pretty sure. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz responded with a list that boiled down to “pretty much anything” and a vague list of symptoms. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fever. Horrible cough. Can’t keep anything down. </span>
  </em>
  <span> “When should we expect you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din estimated two days, maybe three.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karga responded that he was eager to see him, him and the Little One. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Down in the hold, he found Teryn mechanically sorting through the medical supplies she’d brought, and handed her the list from Paz. “Are you okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” She looked at the list. “This is....comprehensive. I’m going to guess not much was salvaged from Navarro, and they haven’t been able to get much since.” She sighed and admitted, “I’m scared shitless.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’ll be okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, we don’t.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t sleep at all. He didn’t sleep much. The Kid fought sleep as hard as he could. He could tell his Buir and Ba’vodu were worried. She finally took him up to the cockpit to give Din a chance to sleep, settled both the Kid and Atin into her lap, and sang.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sleep you when the dark ice groans</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Frost and fire nearing</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sleep you when the silence moans</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sleep you with no fearing”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Kid and the cat fell asleep. The rest of the trip to Navarro she spent staring out the window, reliving every choice she’d ever made in her entire life. She hadn’t been back to Navarro since Paz met her at the entrance nearly eleven years ago, on what was the second worst day of her life.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were a lot of bad days to remember. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They landed near noon. Din put the Kid in his carrier and signaled for Teryn to follow close. In general, Karga controlled this place, so they shouldn’t be in any danger, but things can change fast, and Din didn’t entirely trust Karga.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara was another matter. He trusted Cara with his ad’ika’s life, and he’d messaged her to meet them at the spaceport.  “Hey. Hey, kiddo.” She reached out to rub the Kid’s ear, and he burbled happily. She gave Teryn a once over and asked Din, “Who’s this?” Teryn gave a polite, tight smile and gave Cara an identical once over. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll explain inside.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn tried not to flinch at the memories lurking around every corner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the common house, Karga was waiting with an effusive greeting. He exclaimed over the Kid, and glanced at her. “And who is this lovely young lady?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn felt her expression shift from </span>
  <em>
    <span>neutral</span>
  </em>
  <span> to </span>
  <em>
    <span>I will fucking end you</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She was too tired to even try to keep control of her face. Karga didn’t retreat, but he pulled back slightly, and inclined his head. “My apologies.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can we speak in private?” Din said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karga led them to the back room, and quietly ordered some soup for the Kid. “Did you get all of the bounties?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. There was one on the moon that I don’t have. It was a trap.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A trap?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn and Din watched him carefully as Din explained. “There were enforcers looking for us. All three of us, like they expected us to come back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karga blustered that he had no idea about any of this. Teryn and Din exchanged glances, and she twitched an eyebrow. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Seems to be telling the truth, but I don’t know him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Din glanced at Cara, standing behind Karga, and she shrugged. Din turned his attention back to Karga. “Here’s the ones I’ve got-” he laid down the fobs. “And here’s that information you wanted from Delphon.” He laid down a chip.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karga nodded, and passed over credits. “You want another job?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. We have other matters. But we do need some supplies. Can you source them?”  Teryn silently handed over the list.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Karga and Cara looked it over. “Yeah, we can get this. It’ll take a little time.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow. I want it by tomorrow.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s this for, Mando?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn snapped a glare at Cara. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Who the fuck do you think you are. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Cara smirked. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din sighed to himself. “The Covert needs it.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“As soon as possible.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”  Cara sat back and looked at the three of them. “I’m going to get started on this and unload the Crest. You three should go back to my place, get cleaned up, get some food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Din stood up and headed to the door. Teryn followed, and looked back at Cara and Karga over her shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t let my cat out.”  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>At Cara’s small apartment, Din sent Teryn into the refresher first. He hoped that after a shower she’d sleep a little and he needed to talk to Cara. If nothing else, he wanted a mostly neutral party to talk things through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure enough, after he was done in the refresher, she was curled up in the corner. The Kid made a slightly worried sound. “Ba’vodu?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shhh. Let her sleep.”  Cara had a small kitchen with a door, so Din went in there to eat and feed the Kid. Teryn had tried to be as polite as possible, and give them space where he could take the helmet off, but it wasn’t easy in a ship so small. And the damn cat into the mix, and there just hadn’t been a lot of one on one time with the Kid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara came back while they were working on “please” and “thank you.” The Kid would cheerfully project gratitude, but the words were slow in coming.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> “Caaa-aa!” The Kid caroled, looking towards the door, and Din put his helmet back on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara grinned as she came into the kitchen and picked him up. “Hiya, green bean.”  She nodded back at the sleeping Teryn in the corner. “What’s her deal?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din sighed. “It’s a long story. But… well, you asked what happens if the helmet comes off? She’s what happens.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s… she was….?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah. And you’re… taking her to the Covert?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They don’t have a doctor, and she is one.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara nodded. “How is this going to go?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t know.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fun.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s one word for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid suddenly turned to the door. “BA’VODU!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was grumbling and the sound of stretching. Din reached behind him and got the mug of caff he had ready. “She can be a real shabuir when she’s just woken up.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A bitch?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A jerk.” Teryn opened the door, and took the mug Din held out. “You must be Cara.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Who’re you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn glanced at Din briefly. “Teryn. Teryn Brennan.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara frowned. “Were you… were you with the Alliance? That name sounds familiar.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Medcorps. From Yavin to the end.” She glanced at Din again, wary. He nodded. “You were a shocktrooper?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmmmhmmm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jakku?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. You were there?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded, almost to herself. “Did you bring in a guy with blaster burns all down one side? Ended up getting his arm amputated?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s right. Was that you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who cut off his arm? Yeah.” Cara gave a nod of respect. Teryn drank the caff and they all sat in awkward silence. The Kid looked around, worried. “Ba’vodu?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn stared at her mug. Din answered, “Parent’s sibling. Aunt.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara cocked her head. “So you’re…?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We had the same parent, yeah.” Teryn slammed the rest of the caff and looked at Din, one eyebrow raised in a question.</span>
  <em>
    <span>You trust this woman?</span>
  </em>
  <span> He nodded. “Go ahead and tell her. Tell her everything. I don’t want to relive it more than I have to. I’m going out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t care. Tell her whatever. I need air.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t realize where she was going until she found herself in the bazaar. Where were they going? Jelucan? It was cold there, right? She found a stall selling furs, and picked out a wrap cloak with a hood. It was an extravagance, and probably a stupid thing to waste money on, but in the absence of her real armor, she could at least cover herself in this.  Plus they had furred blankets that the Kid would like. At another stall she found large pads of paper and markers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kids like to draw, don’t they? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She left the stall, and her feet went, almost without any conscious thought on her part, to the entrance to the old Covert. She wasn’t sure how long she stood there before someone bumped into her, and she pushed the curtain aside.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Down the steps, and down empty tunnels. The Armorer had gone. Din had told her that she’d salvaged the remains and rejoined the remnants of the Covert. There was nothing down there but ghosts. She roamed the tunnels, looking in the empty rooms and touching the blaster scars on the walls. In her old room, she found nothing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, someone else lived here after me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The med bay had been stripped. The common areas still had bloodstains on the floor and the walls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wandered for a long time, before she ended up in the forge room, sank down against the wall, buried her face in her knees, and sobbed.  </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>After a few hours or so, she hadn’t come back. “I’m going to see if I can find her. She should have returned by now. Can you watch him?” The Kid chirped and snuggled down into Cara’s arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can discuss tactics for taking out a platoon when you only have three droppers, right green bean?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was hard to follow her footprints in the town, but once he saw she’s headed for the bazaar, Din had a sinking feeling of where he was going to find her.  As soon as he had started down the steps, he could hear her hiccuping. “Vod’ika?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found her in the forge room, and sat down next to her. After a few minutes she wiped her face. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why… I don’t know if I can do this.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to. You can stay here.” He paused as she shook her head and mumbled something about “can’t” and “won’t.” “Remember what Buir told us about being brave?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “That doing something even though you’re scared is what makes you brave.” He nodded. She sniffled and wiped her eyes again. “There’s something I have to do first though.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get shitfaced.”  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They stopped back at the ship on their way back to Cara’s, where Teryn dropped off her purchases and pulled a small bottle out of her stash of medical supplies. “What’s that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Something you’ve never needed in your entire life.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They paused outside Cara’s house and Din said, “I told her. Everything.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. Then she’ll understand at least half of what is likely to fall out of my mouth.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Inside, Cara gave Teryn a look of intense sympathy, and Teryn scowled. “Don’t do that. Just. Please. Don’t. What kind of alcohol do you have?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara opened a cabinet filled with various bottles. “I also have a bunch of Ebla beer.” Din turned his head to give her what she knew was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>look</span>
  </em>
  <span> and she shrugged. “What? People give me things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn pulled out a bottle of Soulean brandy and three small glasses. “Get the beer, too.” She put the small bottle she’d grabbed from the Crest on the table. “Someone give me that tomorrow. I’m gonna need it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Care picked it up and examined the contents. “It looks like…. Tar.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hangover remedy.” Teryn poured three shots of the brandy. Cara reached for one and Teryn slapped her hand away. “Get your own.” She slammed the three shots in a row. Din made a sound of disapproval. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should at least </span>
  <em>
    <span>eat</span>
  </em>
  <span> something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Copaani mirshmure’cye, ori’vod?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then put the baby to bed and let me drink my feelings.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din rolled his eyes and took the Kid, who was very interested in all these goings on, into Cara’s spare room. It had been a big day, a late night, and there hadn’t been a nap, so even the Kid couldn’t fight sleep that hard. Even so, he stayed, allowing himself to enjoy the peace and quiet which was unlikely to be repeated anytime soon.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was it like growing up with him?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I dunno. Normal?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara raised her eyebrows at that, and Teryn shrugged. “He always been so… taciturn?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need more booze if you can use words like that.” Teryn grinned. “But yeah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he's always…” Cara gestured randomly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A total disaster? Yes.” Teryn laughed. “He’s a good big brother, though. Always was.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said you got stabbed defending the Kid?” Cara handed Teryn a beer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, a little bit. Maybe more than a little. It’s fine. The Kid, I think. He did a thing. Got the asshole, though, so. You know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara held up her own beer in a toast. “Is the word we’re going for ‘layaryc’?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nah. We… they… I don’t even fucking know anymore what I am.” Teryn wrinkled her nose. “Mando’a has three words for drunk. Layaryc means “carousing,” like happy drunk, going out and having some good times. I am at haryc b’aalyc. Tired and emotional. I intend to sail beyond that into batnor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s that mean?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din came back into the kitchen. “‘’On her back’.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Completely </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span> wrecked.” Teryn finished off her beer and poured another shot of the brandy. “He told me what you said. And it being ‘that’s it’.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The helmet. You take it off and you can’t put it back on and that’s it. But like. It’s not. I lost everything. I lost my family. I lost my </span>
  <em>
    <span>life</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And I don’t wanna like…. Compare trauma or whatever. But you’re from Alderaan, right?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara gave her a stink-eye. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, so. They’re both horrible. There’s no point in comparing. But neither of us can go home, you know?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mine exists, <em>sort of</em>, and they don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> me. You can still say ‘I’m Alderaanian’ but I don’t even have that. I don't have a people. I'm like, not a <em>person. </em>And the fuck of it is…” Teryn shot a glare in DIn’s direction that really aimed at everything he represented. “They’ll tell me that this is the Way and shrug like ‘nothing to be done’.” She downed another shot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is the Way.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Way is BULLSHIT.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din hissed slightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on. It IS. Some fucking asshole rips off my helmet, and I can’t go home, and I lose my everything, and he gets to walk back in and everything is fine? Just because no one knows what he did? It’s BULLSHIT.” Another shot. “And it would be different if I had chosen to take it off, or even if it was an enemy. Like. I get that. But it wasn’t. It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>vod.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And he’s still a vod and I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Din sighed to himself. It’s not like he hadn’t thought about this before. Several times since he found out the truth of what had happened to her. But the Way and the Creed was one of the few things he had to hold on to, and examining it too closely wasn’t something he was ready to do. She had had over ten years to do nothing but think about it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you can’t even tell me if he’s alive or not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He is.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” She nodded. “Great. Then I can kill him.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara poured herself a shot. “I agree with you, T.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“T. I like that. It’s still really weird to hear people use my </span>
  <em>
    <span>name</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Like. Who gave them the </span>
  <em>
    <span>right.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She paused and exhaled slowly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You okay, there, slugger?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not like we… they… fuck… have the numbers to support…. You know. Things.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If this is how you feel,” Cara asked. “Why are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because there isn’t anyone else. And,” Teryn raised up a shot glass. “The Foundlings are the fucking future, and this is the fucking Way. So here we fucking are.” She drank it, stood and swayed somewhat alarmingly.  “I’m gonna go throw up. And then maybe pass out. Haven’t decided yet.” She staggered to the refresher. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara looked at Din and raised her eyebrows. “They don’t know she’s coming, do they?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She held her glass up to him. “Good luck.”  </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Copaani mirshmure’cye, ori’vod: Are you looking for a smack in the face, big brother?<br/>shabuir: extreme insult - *jerk*, but much stronger<br/>layaryc: drunk (lit. carousing)<br/>haryc b’aalyc: *tired and emotional* - i.e. drunk<br/>batnor: drunk (lit. on your back)</p><p>Traditional Icelandic lullaby. As before, I looked for "Creepy lullaby" and Icelandic ones are great for that.  https://www.daylyrics.com/index.php?act=song&amp;a=Sissel&amp;s=Icelandic-Lullaby</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The coldest night of the coldest year comes right before the spring</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>If home is the place that, when you have to go there, they have to take you in, then what do you call the place that you go when they need to take you in?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Din had brought the Kid back to the Crest to sleep. Teryn had passed out in the refresher, and after a minor tussle and a lot of insults, they’d managed to get her on the couch with a bucket and pitcher of water nearby. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was anxious, too. Anxious over the Foundlings, anxious that danger would follow them, anxious that he would be in trouble for bringing her. He’d been the Covert once since they moved to Jelucan, and things had been, well, cool. A Covert that had been forty adults was reduced to twelve adults plus the Armorer, and the Foundlings. Bringing her into that could set it all on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Based on what she’d said, he thought there was at least a chance Teryn would be fine with that.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He removed his armor, and snuggled down with the Kid. They all needed rest. Tomorrow was almost guaranteed to </span>
  <em>
    <span>suck</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn opened her eyes and immediately shut them with a growl. The sun was just so… sun-like. She groaned. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How you feeling there?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have,” Teryn mumbled, around a mouth that felt like the floor of a cantina, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>regrets</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You drank about a hundred credits worth of Soulean brandy. I imagine you do.”  Cara shut the curtains and put the hangover remedy bottle in Teryn’s hand. “You told me to give you that. Maybe it’ll help.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn made a sound of deep protest- at the idea of help, at morning, at the entire idea of existence- it was hard to tell, and sat up. “Oh shit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bucket to your right.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks.” Teryn struggled to her feet and made her way slowly, painfully to the refresher. The hangover remedy did taste like tar, but it was the best thing she’d ever come up with. Miners were hard drinkers, and they were hard workers. They needed to be able to bounce back after payday carousing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She emerged from the ‘fresher with a clean face and a receding headache. Her stomach still felt like it could betray her at any second, and it was possible, </span>
  <em>
    <span>remotely possible</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Din had been right about eating something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’d never admit it, though. His head needed to still be able to fit into his helmet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara looked up. “Just got word that the supplies are ready to be loaded. You ready to head to the ship?” Teryn grunted an assent, and Cara laughed, but quietly. “Come on, I’ll find you a visor to shield your eyes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked to the spaceport, slowly. It was still somewhat early, and not many people were around. Cara kept a watchful eye- she might be the enforcer, but it paid to remain at a certain level of paranoid. At the Crest, Teryn went to change and put herself in some semblance of togetherness, while Cara and Din directed loading the cargo.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey. Take it easy on her. She’s suffering quite a bit right now, on several levels, and we can’t know if it’s going to get better.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I’m not gonna say she didn’t mean what she said- truth in alcohol and all that- but she has good reason for it.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know that, too.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And odds are good she doesn’t remember a lot.” Cara tapped him on the arm. “Be gentle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn stepped out, in clean clothes and hair brushed. “Are we about set?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Almost,” Din said. “Glad to see you’re still alive.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled a tiny bit. “Are you? Am I?” He went back into the ship, and Cara put a hand on Teryn’s arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I was such a mess last night."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, don’t apologize for that. You were in a safe place, and you clearly needed it. If things go sideways, here’s my communicator code.” Cara pressed a chip into Teryn’s hand. “I’ll come get you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn took a breath but couldn’t form any words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But also, I remember you from Jakku. You were the boss bitch there. Even General Calrissian listened to you. They can’t take that away. Take that energy in with you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded, and Cara pulled her into a hard, firm embrace. “Good luck.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn sagged into the hug. “Thank you.” Cara squeezed her arm one last time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Homeless comrades need to stick together. Until our paths cross.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Until our paths cross.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn went back into the Crest, passing Din and Kid as they came out to say goodbye. “Thank you, Cara. This means a lot.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Let me know how things turn out. If nothing else, it should be interesting.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din gave a slight laugh. “That’s a word for it.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cara rubbed the Kid’s ear. “Take care of your auntie. She’s gonna need it, okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bye! Caaa-aa!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She and Din clasped arms, and she backed up as they went back in and closed the gangway. She stayed until the Crest disappeared into the sky, then turned with purpose to the common house. Time to find out what the deal was with that job that went so wrong.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Six hours. They know to expect...well, me and the ad’ika.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you…” he paused, and then plowed on. “Do you believe all the things you said last night?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said a lot of things last night and I don’t think I remember them all.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About the Way. Being… bullshit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. That.” She thought about it for a minute. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I mean. That particular part of it, yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She started braiding her hair back out of her face. “I know fairness doesn’t have a lot to do with reality, but…” She sighed. “It’s not fair.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat in silence for a while. “I got you something.” Din pulled a piece of blue fabric out of his belt. “For your arm.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For my… oh.” It was an armband in the blue of the Mandalorian medics. Tied around her arm, it would be an indication of what she was and why she was there, even if people didn’t recognize her. It might smooth the way a bit. “Thank you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave a nod.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The Covert is in some underground tunnels on the outskirts of Valentia. It was pretty badly damaged during the war, so it’s fairly empty. We should leave the bulk of the supplies on the ship. We don’t want to attract attention.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay.” She chewed on her fingernail. “I’ll pack a bag with what will probably be the most useful right away.” She was already making lists in her head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Fluids, fever reducers, steroids, bacta… </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be down in a few to pack the Kid’s stuff.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She slid down the ladder. The hold was full- Cara and Karga had done a good job at procuring everything they asked for, and there was even a semi-useful list so Teryn could find where things had been packed.  The Kid wandered down and she pulled out the paper and markers she’d gotten- he was a little dubious at first until he figured out how the markers worked. He went through several pieces of paper, making her stop and come to admire his genius.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She got so focused on the packing and climbing around the packing cartons trying to find items that she didn’t notice the worrying silence until Din climbed down. “Where did you get THOSE?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn looked from behind a carton to see the weapons locker fully decorated with scribbles in multiple colors at Kid-height. And the Kid, with red and blue all over his face. “Ba’vodu!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Snitch!” She ducked behind the cartons and she heard Din sigh heavily. “I’m a bounty hunter, vod’ika. Do you really think you can hide in a ship this small?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“....maybe?” She came out, trying very hard not to smile. Or giggle. Or look in any way like she approved of this behavior. “I gave him paper, too.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He appears to have gotten bored with that. Does this stuff come off?” She shrugged. “I am going to take hits to my reputation with the ship looking like this.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid looked as innocent as possible as he could with a marker in each hand. “I think the toys in each corner put that to rest a while ago.”  Din glared and she laughed.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time they landed in a ravine outside of the ruined part of the city, they were both beyond ready. The Kid chewed on his mythosaur amulet, and Din glanced down. “Do you still have yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” She tied the blue band around her arm and draped the fur cloak over herself, pulling the hood up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid was tucked into his carrier with his new furred blanket, and Din carried a bag of medicine and stuff for the Kid. Teryn had another bag of medical supplies. They looked at eachother, her face drawn and tense, his shoulders set. He nodded reassuringly, and they set out.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They’d discussed going separately so as to draw less attention, but eventually he decided it would be better for her state of mind to remain together.  They walked from the ravine to the outskirts in silence, even the Kid who was prone to making soft commentary remained quiet. As they got deeper into the ruins, Din said quietly, “Arm.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She folded up the left side of the cloak to uncover the armband. There should be someone watching at this point of the approach, and they wanted it to be clear why she was there.  They continued on. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Deep in the rubble of a destroyed quarter, there was a low whistle. Din paused, and whistled back. He cocked his head, listening to a transmission in his helmet, and he nodded. He gestured to an opening off to the left. “There.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked towards it, and Teryn stopped and stared at it, and glanced at him, letting every bit of the naked terror show on her face. Then she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and consciously adjusted every muscle in her face, one by one, until she wore nothing but a smooth, expressionless mask. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just inside the tunnel, a Mandalorian waited for them. She didn’t recognize the armor, and they nodded at Din before looking at her. She made no reaction as they looked at the blue armband, then sharply looked back at Din. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din nodded.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid crouched low in the carrier, only letting his eyes and ears remain visible. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Same, Kid.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The other Mandalorian led them down the tunnel.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once they descended into complete darkness, Din turned on the infrared vision on his visor, and held out his arm for Teryn to take so he could lead her safely in the darkness. The other Mandalorian didn’t turn around, and Teryn shot Din a quick side glance. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, this is going great. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They went around another corner, and there was a low light in the distance, and another Mandalorian stood, waiting. He, too, gave Teryn a look and glanced at Din before leading them on. Din’s sigh was barely audible, and the Kid echoed it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, they reached the Covert proper. There was a narrow door into a small passage that created a tidy kill pocket, which then opened into a larger common type space. Off to one side there was a kitchen. It was eerily quiet. The covert on Navarro had hardly been boisterous, but there had always been the sound of children about, and general quiet hubbub of life. This one was almost silent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several other Mandalorians stood and watched them enter, and Teryn raised up her chin, just a bit. She saw several of them look at each other and at least one flinched when he saw her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Well, someone recognizes me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They all turned to a door at the back, as the Armorer came in. She walked towards Din and Teryn, looked at Din, then stood in front of Teryn, and simply looked at her. Teryn held her ground and looked at the Armorer in the visor, for what felt like forever, until she heard a hacking cough from down another hallway. She looked towards it, glanced back at the Armorer, and then started walking towards the coughing at speed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz stepped in front of her. She stopped. He stood still, blocking the passage. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Move.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glared. He still didn’t move.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She could tell that some signal had been given, because he made a quiet sound of disgust and stepped aside. She resisted the urge to kick him in the ankle as she went by.  Terror had given way to pure fury. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How dare you put yourself in between me and my patients. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Following the sound of coughing, she found a makeshift medbay set up with cots. At least 15, and each cot had a child on it. Some of them were coughing, some were sleeping, all of them looked miserable.  A gangly Mandolorian in a helmet wearing a faded blue armband looked up when she came in. He saw her armband, and his breath caught. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you a medic?” Gods, his voice was still cracking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Vor ent’ye.” He sagged in relief. “I’ve been doing the best I can, but… they just all got so sick so fast, and I just didn’t know...I tried, but I just didn’t…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded and got her med scanner out and went to the first kid on the line, a girl of about seven.  “Tell me what the symptoms are?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They get a fever, and a rash, then it’s like they just can’t catch their breath and they cough and cough.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Is it all of the kids? Are there any that aren’t sick?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. Um.” The poor medic kid started hyperventilating. Teryn patted the little girl on the arm and stood in front of him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Breathe. I can tell you’ve been doing your best. How old are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fifteen.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been an apprentice for two years.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you’ve been the only medical help here for a few months?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When was the last time you slept?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t….I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded. “Okay. Can you give me an hour, and help me understand what’s going on? Then you can go get some sleep. Okay? Can you do that?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” She nodded reassuringly. “Let’s start over. When did this start?”    </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Vor ent’ye: Thank you. (Lit: "I accept a debt.") <br/>Vod'ika: Younger sibling (in this case, little sister)<br/>Ba'vodu: Parent's sibling</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I can see them talking but I only hear the voices in my head</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Coming home is hard. Many people have many feelings about all of it. Paz is a dick about it, The Armorer is relieved, and Din and Teryn are both very very tired.  </p><p>C/N for implied (and not so implied) suicidal thoughts.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Back in the common room, Paz marched over to Din. “What,” he demanded, “Were you thinking?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I asked you to bring </span>
  <em>
    <span>supplies.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Not a fucking dar’manda hut’uun auretii!” The others started at that, and there was one hushed, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“I knew it</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She offered.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why was she- why do you- just, fucking why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din sighed. “Gideon was going to find her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din looked at Paz incredulously. “So? He’d fucking torture her and kill her.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Again. So?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They’d use her to find my Kid.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Enough. She has come to help the Foundlings, and for that we are grateful.” The Armorer said. “The other matters will wait.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz turned to her. “But-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Enough.”</span>
  </em>
  <span>  She signaled for Din to follow her into the Forge. He patted the Kid reassuringly and followed her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How is your Foundling?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s doing well.”  Din put a hand around the Kid and gave him a reassuring squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Su cuy’gar, ad’ika.” The Kid raised his ears and smiled. He was a little in awe of her, but she had always been kind to him, in a slightly scary kind of way.  “How long have you had her with you?” The Armorer asked, mildly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just over a month.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded. “How long have you been visiting her?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din squirmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How </span>
  <em>
    <span>long</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ve known where she’s been for almost eight years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…. thought perhaps you knew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suspected.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She nearly died protecting my Foundling.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din fought the urge to scuff his toe on the ground. It didn’t seem to matter who the Armorer was. He had felt this way when called to task by the old Armorer as well. She looked at him for another long minute. “Did she tell you what caused her to break the Creed?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din hesitated, then said, reluctantly, “I do not think that is my story to tell.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmmmm.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We did bring supplies. They’re still on the ship.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should go get everything.” Teryn said from behind him. She’d shed the cloak, had her sleeves rolled up, and had tied her braids into a knot on the back of her head. “And,” she glanced in a corner where she could hear skittering. “Get Atin. He can earn his keep.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din nodded. “Can you take him while we…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shook her head. “No, I shouldn’t touch him until this is under control. I don’t know if he can catch it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ba’vodu?” The Kid reached towards her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N’eparavu takisit, vod’ad. Nayc.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer stared at the three of them. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Ba’vodu?</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn and Din glanced at each other guiltily, and beat a retreat; her back to the med bay, and him to organize unloading the Crest. Teryn walked quickly back through the common room, not looking at the group talking with Paz, but he could tell she had heard them. “...murdering traitor…”  </span>
</p><p><span>Din sighed. This wasn’t a fight he could fight for her, much as he wanted to. And he knew what she would tell him. </span><em><span>Tackle the problem in front of you. Triage.</span></em> <em><span>There’s always time to pound heads later.</span></em></p><p>
  <span>The problem in front of him was getting the supplies down there. That was something he could do. So he did.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was always dark down in the tunnels. Back before, she’d gotten used to it. Back before, there had always been the sound of activity. The Covert hadn’t been large, but there was always something happening. Even with most of the children sick, it was just so…. Quiet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The apprentice medic had gone to sleep hours ago, and she had gotten all of the sick kids set up with fluids and medication. She was hopeful, but a few of them had a rough road ahead.  Some of the kids were visited by their buirs, and they were guardedly thankful. Once she got everything settled, she quietly let one know that she would be in the supply room trying to organize things, and she’d be able to monitor the sickroom from there. Unsaid, but clearly understood, was the part where anyone who wanted to see thier Foundling without seeing her would be able to do so without awkwardness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It killed her, but it was necessary for the good of the foundlings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point, late in the night, Din had come by with a mug of behot and some food. “How bad is it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s going to be a long couple of days.” She sipped the behot. “Is she mad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s…. I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where’s the Kid?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Asleep. They gave me a room, and he’s there.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I left your armor on the ship. I wasn’t sure what to do about it, so I put it in the sleeping compartment.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Probably smart.” She hadn’t even thought about what to do with her armor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Atin’s already hunting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nodded, and paused, listening behind her as one of the children tossed restlessly. “I should-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not here right now. He’s off world.” He put a hand on her shoulder and left to find some sleep. The rest of the Covert was silent- one guard was near the entrance, but everyone else was either asleep or in their quarters. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She picked up the restless kid, a tiny four year old, and he snuggled in. His fever was down, which was good, but his breathing still wasn’t great.  She patted him on the back, thinking. The medic kid was sleeping, and was likely to do so until morning. A couple of them were going to need inhaled steroids. Thankfully, no one who was sick was of age yet- she didn’t need to worry about helmets.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point, it would be nice if someone could tell her where she could sleep, but that was unlikely to be a problem that would need a solution anytime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz was going to be a problem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid in her arms twitched restlessly. “K’uur, k’uur.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Din went back to his quarters, shut the door, shed his armor and helmet, and picked up the sleeping Kid. The Kid snuggled into Din’s neck without waking. Din sighed. He’d expected things to be awkward, but maybe less outright hostility. Granted, some were grateful that he’d brought competent help, but Paz was busy whipping up anger.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din wished for the first time ever, that he was better at politics.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer stared into the flames of the forge. This was an unforeseen complication. She couldn’t deny that she had felt a profound sense of relief when she realized who Din had brought with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the question remained, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what had really happened to make her remove her helmet all those years ago?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz fumed. How dare she show her face? Who cared if the Imps killed a Dar’manda? She had broken the Creed, and didn’t deserve the protection of the Covert. They would have figured something out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Softly, through the halls of the covert, a lullaby floated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Bíum bíum bambaló,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bambaló og dillidillidó</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Vini mínum vagga ég í ró</span>
</p><p>
  <span>En úti biður andlit á glugga” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Within another day and night, a couple of the kids were well enough to go back to their quarters. Three were still very sick. The remainder were restless, cranky, unwilling to stay in bed, not well enough to be out of bed. Teryn had Tabor, the medic kid, deal with them. She was too tired to think of doing anything other than tying them down, which was not really an ideal pediatric practice on any planet.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was preparing a nebulizer for one of the kids when another one tugged on her sleeve. “Where did you come from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I came with the Beroya.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But from where?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A small planet you’ve never heard of.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But you speak Mando’a. I heard you.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The kid eyed her suspiciously. “Do you know his ad?” At Teryn’s nod, he grinned. Now they were getting somewhere. “Can he come play?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not until you’re all better. So get back into bed.”  The kid gave an almighty pout and flounced back to his bed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabor came over, and she showed him how the nebulizer worked. He was an attentive student, and eager to soak up as much information as she could give him. Being the only medical support for the Covert had made him more determined to learn his craft, and they both knew that there was a limited amount of time that Teryn could possibly instruct him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later that night, they were sitting, giving another breathing treatment. “Can I ask you a question?” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Here we go. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“Sure.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They said… they said you </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> Mando’ade, but... well… How...how do you treat people without your heads up display?”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was not the question she expected. Not at all. “Uh….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean, I have all sorts of vitals on my display and I was learning about using scans during procedures, and… it seems limiting to not have that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I ended up having a lot of practice.” She paused. “I figured out work arounds where i could- if there was time and space and power to rig up a scanner and display, then I’d use that. But sometimes there wasn’t. So I would have to remember what I saw and just use what I could see and hear and smell and feel. I had to trust my instincts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.” She could tell that he frowned as he mulled that over. “That seems… simple.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was and it wasn’t. It took a lot of work.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a knock on the door, and one of the warriors- Ordo, she thought his name was- said, “Excuse me, Alor like to see you, if it’s convenient.” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well, I haven’t slept in two days, so sure, this is a great time.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I’ll be right there.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the forge, the Armorer sat, waiting. She gestured for Teryn to sit across from her. “How are the children doing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Most of them are on the mend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good. The foundlings are the future. And the baar’ur?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eager to learn.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you willing to teach him while you are here?” Teryn nodded. The Armorer could see, even in the dim light, the dark circles under her eyes, and the way she swayed slightly. “Is there anything else you require?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well….” Teryn hesitated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where can I sleep?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer was actually speechless for a long minute. “You haven’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>slept?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn shook her head. “A few minutes here and there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And no one showed you to a room?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn shook her head again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer exhaled in frustration. “Follow me.”  She led Teryn down a hall to a small room with a cot. “You can sleep here.” She paused. “We will discuss this situation further when you have had rest.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded.  “Thank you.” The Armorer left. Teryn went to get her bag and tell Tabor that she was going to sleep for a few hours, and he could come wake her up if he needed to. She wrapped herself up in her cloak and was asleep before she fully laid down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She woke up with Atin curled up behind her knees and three of the Kid’s stuffed toys tucked around her (</span>
  <em>
    <span>Where had Din found a stuffed mythosaur? Did he… make it himself?). </span>
  </em>
  <span>Clearly someone had felt concerned about her being lonely.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din and the Kid were in the Common room with several other people. Paz was between her and the kitchen, where the caff was. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dick.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The Kid shrieked when he saw her. “Ba’vodu!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone froze, and Paz made a sound of deep disgust. Teryn wished the ground would swallow her up right there, as the Kid scrambled out of Din’s arms and ran over to her, demanding to be picked up. She did, and he patted her face happily and hummed. She shook her head. “Ba’vodu! Laararir!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glanced around warily and shook her head again. “No, ad’ika. Not here.” The Kid frowned and hummed again, insistently. He’d learned the word. That should </span>
  <em>
    <span>count. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I SAID </span>
  <em>
    <span>NO.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> She snapped, and tears started welling up in his eyes as his ears went down. Din sighed quietly and got up to collect the Kid, and glared at her. She looked around wildly, and Din was reminded of a hunted animal, or, he recognized with a sinking feeling, a bounty he’d run to earth. “Sorry,” she whispered and fled to the med bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was bad enough to be in this liminal space of being tolerated (and only barely) for being useful, but it was incredibly clear that the tolerance had limits. She heard the whispers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Dar’Manda. Traitor.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tabor was just relieved to have someone with experience, but he had been Found after her excommunication. By the time he was old enough to understand, the story had gotten old. The Foundlings didn’t care, either. She’d made them feel better. The adults, however, were another story entirely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tension was far too much. The Armorer was clearly waiting to address the entire situation until the Foundlings were well enough. If she was to be thrown out, it would be after she was no longer needed. The waiting was exhausting. The Foundlings were exhausting. Everything was just so exhausting. She emerged from the med bay to find food only at night, and snatched sleep when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. She hung her hammock in the back of the supply room- at least she wouldn’t have to pass anyone to get there.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din was worried. She’d never snapped at the Kid before, and the Kid was extremely sensitive about being yelled at. He’d been clingy for days afterward, cringing away from everyone, and even as the other Foundlings were released back into the Covert, he’d been unsure about playing with them. Din was getting a bit restless, feeling the urge to go back on a hunt (bounties, the Kid’s own kind, anything) but he wouldn’t leave her alone, and she wouldn’t leave before the job was done. No, they’d stay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One night Din woke up to find that the Kid was not in their room- not in his crib, not snuggled up with him, not playing with his toys, not anywhere. He put on his helmet and went searching, and eventually heard Teryn’s voice coming softly from the med bay.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t think this would be so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don’t know why I thought that. I’m so stupid.”  A hitching breath. “So. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stupid.”  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard the Kid trill quietly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to come </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I don’t know why I even thought I could have one to come back to.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was silence. Din leaned against the wall, out of sight. Not wanting to intrude, not able to pull himself away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s going to wake up and be worried. You should go back.” A soft burble, and she sighed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was happy back there.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, you weren’t, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Din thought. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not really.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, I wasn’t.” She paused. “But I didn’t feel like this.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid hummed sadly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They like you here. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You</span>
  </em>
  <span> belong.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid made some soft sounds, comforting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have just stayed. Let them come, instead of running.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A rustling sound that Din recognized as the Kid shaking his head vigorously, his ears flapping. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn't have let them use me to get to you. I wouldn’t have. I could have made myself…. Not...useful to them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid squawked in distress. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It matters to him.” Din stood in the doorway. “And me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn wiped her face quickly and looked up from where she was sitting on the floor, curled into a corner, with the Kid standing on her lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry we came, vod'ika. I’m sorry… I’m just... sorry.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was my decision, ori'vod.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We can leave whenever you want.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She glanced back at the few Foundlings remaining in the med bay. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gave a nod, understanding that she didn’t want to leave them before they were better. “We’ll figure something out.” He held his hands out to the Kid, but the Kid turned back to Teryn and reached up to touch her face. Then he put his claws in her hair on each side of her head and pulled her face down to touch her forehead to his. His ba’vodu did matter, a great deal, and this way he could try to show her how much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next evening, Teryn was called to the Forge, where every adult member of the Covert was gathered. Teryn glanced warily at Din, who was standing to the side of the  Armorer, and stood in the middle of the circle. The Armorer regarded her steadily, while Paz stood behind her, arms folded, radiating hostility.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“First, I will say that we are grateful that you were willing to come to our aid. I know it cannot have been an easy decision. But there are things that must be addressed.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn swallowed and nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You broke the Creed. You removed your helmet in order to flee from enemies.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn flicked her eyes at Din, who nodded. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Go ahead.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I didn’t break the Creed. It was broken for me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The others muttered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No? The Verd who returned with your helmet reported that you murdered an injured comrade and fled, leaving him to face his enemies alone.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn took a deep breath. “He lied.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re the liar!” Paz yelled.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. Rokr,” and she spat out the Coward’s name, “Rokr was the one who killed our Verd. Rokr took my helmet and left me behind because eight stormtroopers were too much for him to handle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was pandemonium. Everyone started yelling, and Paz took a step towards Teryn, fists clenched, only to be stopped by Din. “Why should we believe you?” Paz snapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Truth or lie, nothing changes for me. Nothing. But would someone who turned tail and ran then choose to come back? For this?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had a point, and the Armorer acknowledged it with a nod. “If this is true,” said the Armorer, holding up a hand. “If this is true, why did you not tell us before now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn looked hard at Paz. “I tried. I was not permitted.” She took a deep breath. “And as a result you’ve spent the past ten years, seven months, and sixteen days with a murdering coward in your ranks </span>
  <em>
    <span>and you didn’t even know.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should have fucking killed you then, you lying bitch.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Why didn’t you?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din closed his eyes at the anguish in her voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer turned to look at Paz. “She attempted to return? And you didn’t think to mention this?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t about to let a dar’manda crawl back into the Covert. She doesn’t deserve our protection.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, instead you put the entire Covert at risk.” Teryn snapped. “Rokr did it to me, what makes you think he wouldn’t do it to you to save his own fucking, miserable, skin?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She looked around fiercely. “I know what having someone remove my helmet by force means. I know better than all of you, and I’ve had to live with that every day. But ask yourselves why you protect him, while he’s off doing who the fuck knows what while I came back because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>help. If my help is no longer needed, then I am more than happy to go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should not have come back at all. He,” and Paz gestured at Din, “should have left you to your fate.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She merely looked at him, resigned and tired, tired of it all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was silence, and everyone looked around at each other. Then Tabor hesitantly raised his hand. “If she hadn’t come, I wouldn’t have been able to handle it. It wasn’t just the supplies. It was her. She saved the lives of your </span>
  <em>
    <span>children</span>
  </em>
  <span>. The Foundlings are the future, and if she hadn’t come...” He looked around, voice still cracking. “This is the Way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz snorted. “We’d have figured something out.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not in time!” Tabor took a step towards Paz. “You don’t realize how close it was. If it had been twelve hours later, some of them would have died. And there was nothing more I could have done. You’d rather trade the lives of our children for your </span>
  <em>
    <span>pride</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That pretty much settled it, in the eyes of the Covert. No one could argue with that math. Teryn went back to the med bay and shakily sat down, followed closely by Din. “I guess we’re staying for a bit.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess we are.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>baar’ur: Medic. <br/>dar’manda: a state of not being Mandalorian - not an outsider, but one who has lost his heritage, and so his identity and his soul - regarded with absolute dread by most traditionall-minded Mando'ade<br/>hut’uun: coward (worst possible insult)<br/>auretii: traitor, foreigner, outsider (Paz means traitor in this case)<br/>Su cuy’gar: Hello - lit. *You're still alive.*<br/>ad’ika: Little one, child<br/>Ba’vodu: Parent's sibling <br/>N’eparavu takisit, vod’ad. Nayc. "I'm sorry, brother's child. No." <br/>buir: Parent<br/>behot: herb used in beverages, mildly antiseptic and stimulating (gotta stay awake)<br/>vod'ika: Younger sibling.<br/>ori'vod: Older sibling<br/>Verd: Soldier <br/>K’uur: Hush<br/>Laararir: Sing (The Kid doesn't know how to conjugate yet) <br/>Beroya: Bounty hunter.</p><p>Bíum bíum bambaló, Icelandic lullaby (I looked for "Creepy lullabys" and loved the sound of this): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFExVA2j8Rk</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. What is this feeling? Loathing.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Paz gets his.  </p><p>C/N: graphic depictions of violence</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was interesting, the Armorer thought as she considered the state of covert, how patterns developed in childhood continued in adulthood. Din Djarin had been eight years old when his buir had come home with a scared, traumatized four year old girl, and he’d been told that as her ori’vod, one of his jobs was to protect her. </p><p>The first thing she did was bite him. </p><p>Despite that dubious beginning, he took his duties seriously. The skinny, serious boy, making sure his new tiny vod’ika was safe. It took months before she would sleep in her bed, and every morning, Din would have to go find where she’d hidden herself. (One of the few times that he hadn’t found her was the day the old Armorer had found her curled up in his tool chest, which had been an <em> interesting </em>morning.) </p><p>Their buir had expected them both to go to the fighting corps, and while it was obvious early on that Din would do well there, Teryn had been another story. Too stubborn, too free with her opinions, too willing to go her own way, not great with orders. She was <em> fine </em> at fighting, when compared to most of the rest of the galaxy, but only somewhat better than competent for a Mandalorian. What she was good at was problem solving, which made her an excellent combat doctor. Or in a Covert where the supplies were not always ideal. </p><p>They supported each other, goaded each other, fought with each other, and stars help anyone that dared pick on one without making a plan to deal with the other. It shouldn’t have surprised her that the small green foundling called her ba’vodu. </p><p>Family is more than blood, and perhaps, a bit more than Creed. </p><p>When Rokr had come home with her helmet, it had broken him. He was never particularly outgoing, even for one of them, but he had gone off the rails. The Armorer knew about his time running with Ranzer’s crew of course, and it hadn’t been a coincidence. She hadn’t been sure what had caused him to come back to the fold and take up the position of the covert’s bounty hunter, but now the timing made sense. It had been nearly eight years ago.  </p><p>No, the Armorer thought, no, none of this was a coincidence.  </p><p>Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, she thought. It would be interesting to see what the reaction to Paz’s action would be. The Covert was <em> angry </em> at him, and had been shunning him since the conclave. They were, as a group, still somewhat unsure about Teryn, but she had noticed one or two quietly going into the med bay.  </p><p>She watched as Teryn sat in the common room across from Tabor, with the loth cat draped over her shoulders. The Armorer had to admit the cat was handy, the vermin problem was much better, and he had been politely piling extra kills near the kitchen. She watched as Paz walked behind Teryn and while Teryn didn’t give any indication she saw Paz, the cat hissed. Paz sidled away, and Teryn reached up to scratch the cat on the chin, smiling just a tiny bit.  </p><p>Yes, the Armorer thought, yes. Every action has a reaction. </p><p> </p><p>“Bacta is a crutch.”  </p><p>“But I thought….”</p><p>“No, it’s useful, but too many people rely on it exclusively. Any idiot can slap on a bacta patch and call it good, but if you’re low on bacta, or you don’t have a tank, or, hypothetically, you <em> had </em> a bacta tank and then some fucking di’kut got his ass frozen and managed to not become an icicle by crawling into the guts of tauntaun, and then they put him in the tank without cleaning the tauntaun guts off of him well enough and contaminated the entire batch….”</p><p>“That’s...specific.”</p><p>“I’m still mad about it.”  Teryn snorted. “I mean, the base got overrun and we lost the tank anyway, but we could have saved some of the actual bacta. But nooooooo.”  </p><p>“Oh.”  </p><p>“The point is, you can use less bacta by helping things along. It takes a certain amount to repair, say, a slash, but if you at least throw in some stitches to hold things in the right place, then you can use less. Combat medicine involves a lot of shortages and improvising.”</p><p>“And when you’re out of bacta, you cauterize and hope for the best.” Din said, coming up behind them. </p><p>Teryn winced. “It’s terrible no matter which end of the cauterizer you’re on. Okay,” she added as Din cocked his head, “it’s worse on the receiving end. But still not great.”</p><p>“Have you needed…?” She could just tell the kid’s eyes were wide behind his helmet. </p><p>“Stabbed in the gut once. His fault, kind of.” She smiled sunnily at Din. </p><p>“Can I speak to you for a second?”</p><p>She nodded and passed Tabor a datapad. “Go over the differences of the GI system of the mammalian species.”  </p><p>“Awwww….”</p><p>“You can’t put things back together if you don’t know where they go in the first place.”  She followed Din to a corner, Atin still riding on her shoulders. </p><p>“Alor wants me and another to go off world. We need credits and there are a few other things, so it might be a while.” </p><p>“Is she saying both of us should go?”</p><p>“No.” He jerked his head at Ordo. “He’ll go. There’s only one other ship, and it’s still out.”</p><p>Out with Rokr, he means. He still hasn’t been back, and she wasn’t sure if he’d been told to stay away or not. “Are you taking the Kid?”</p><p>Din sighed. “I’m not sure. I don’t like the idea of leaving him, but he likes having the other kids around, and it’s safe here. If I do leave him here, can you handle him?”</p><p>“Are you… there are going to be people who don’t like that idea.” </p><p>“He knows you, he likes you, he trusts you. And so do I. I don’t give a fuck what they think.” He paused, considering what he just said. “I mean, you would probably teach him more bad words, which is a point against you.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “<em> Obviously </em>.”</p><p>He sighed. “Either way… you’ll be alright? You won’t… pick fights?”</p><p>Teryn shook her head. “That doesn’t sound like something I’d do.” Din rolled his eyes.</p><p>Din and Ordo left two days later, leaving the Kid. Din switched out his cloak for a new one, so the Kid could cuddle up in it (<em> he had a vague memory of his mother tucking her shawl around him once </em>), and assured the Kid that he would be back, that he would be safe with his ba’vodu and the other Foundlings, and that he should behave himself.  </p><p>Teryn refrained from mentioning that all behavior was technically behaving. </p><p>Before they shipped out, Din brought the carton with her armor in it to her room. “We need the space, and well. I mean, it’s yours.”  She waited until he left and opened it, carefully stroking her cuirass, but she left it in the carton. </p><p>The Kid was unsure when his Buir left. Last time his Buir had left him behind, it had gone badly. But he was with his Ba’vodu and the cat, both of whom he loved and trusted, and the other metal people like his Buir seemed okay. Even the large angry one, he could tell, wouldn’t hurt him. And his Buir said he could be coming back. Everything was different. </p><p>He stayed with his Ba’vodu, and was happy with this arrangement because Atin would be there, too. He didn’t <em> understand </em> why Atin couldn’t be with him all the time, but there were Rules, and the one about Helmets was a very firm one. He was the only one who could see his Buir’s face, No one else. Not even Atin.</p><p>He was content with that Rule.  </p><p>She would sing, quietly, for him when they were alone. He could play with the other kids. All the adults would keep an eye on them, and if he got tired or sad, someone would sweep him up and take him to his Ba’vodu. It was nice.  </p><p>But he missed his Buir. </p><p> </p><p>Paz stalked through the covert. No one was speaking to him, and on the final word of some kid who’d taken the Creed five minutes ago. He was the Al’verde, for fuck’s sake. He headed down the hall from the sleeping quarters towards the kitchen, only to see her coming down the hall with a plate of meatballs. Before the conclave, she would have scuttled away like a sewer rat, now she narrowed her eyes slightly, and refused to give way. She stopped in front of him, expressionless. </p><p>He didn’t move.  </p><p>Teryn <em> knew </em> she was being rude. Just because she could eat whenever she wanted to, no matter who was around, didn’t mean she did. She usually ate in her room, or in the med bay, out of politeness. It had taken her a long time to be even remotely comfortable eating in a mess hall, so this was just… normal. But seeing Paz, clearly headed for the kitchen, being able to hear his stomach rumbling, and he wasn’t giving way? </p><p>Fuck this guy.  </p><p>She popped a meatball in her mouth. She heard him exhale in frustration. She ate another one. <em> It’s a big plate and I have all day. </em></p><p>She heard someone behind her mutter, “I bet my second favorite vibroblade that he folds first.” </p><p>“I’ll take that action.”  There was a flurry of muttering and scuffling as everyone made their bets. </p><p>She ate another meatball.<em> I can eat whenever the fuck I want.  </em></p><p>Paz shifted his weight on the balls of his feet and clenched a fist. She had a thought that he might actually throw a punch while she wasn’t wearing armor that would either end badly, or she would have to dodge, either of which would potentially result in dropped meatballs. </p><p>That would be a waste. The meatballs were really good. </p><p>She tilted her head slightly, like, <em> you’re really gonna let it come to blows for this? Really? I’m not even wearing armor, and everyone will think you’re an even bigger asshole that you are now.  </em></p><p>He shifted his weight back. “Excuse me.” he growled shifting off to the side, and she inclined her head with a smirk, and stepped to the other side of the hall, eating another meatball. He sidled past her, and muttered under his breath. “Ge’hutuun.” </p><p>She went back to her room and sank against the door, shaking. The Kid was just waking up from a nap in his crib, tangled up in Din’s cloak. That was close. That was very, very close. </p><p> </p><p>Late that night, the Kid woke up, and started crying. Not hungry crying, or messy crying. Lonely, sad crying that he was clearly trying to keep quiet. “What’s wrong, Vod’ad?” Teryn blearily reached for him, and he clung to the sides of the crib. She rubbed his back.</p><p>He sniffled, and whimpered. “Buir.”</p><p>“Oh, kiddo. He’ll be home. He misses you, too.” He let her pick him up and snuggled him close. He started to wail a little bit louder, and Teryn took him and Din’s ratty cloak to the common room. There was room to walk him, and there was food. Plus it was further away from where everyone else was sleeping, and keeping the Kid from waking everyone else up seemed prudent.  </p><p>In the common room she found the Kid wasn’t the only Foundling refusing sleep. She’d known H’lava since their early training days, but they hadn’t talked since she and Din had arrived. H’lava was in the common room with a fussy kid of her own- Ionnas, a boy of about five. They nodded at each other, and the Kid continued to weep into her shoulder.  </p><p>“What’s his deal?” </p><p>Teryn glanced over. “He’s missing his Buir. Yours?”</p><p>“A bit of that, I think.”</p><p>Teryn wrapped the cloak more snuggly around the Kid, and wrinkled her nose. It reeked of all sorts of things she’d rather not identify.</p><p>“We can wash that, if you need to.” H’lava said, tentatively.  </p><p>“I’ve thought about it, but I worry if I wash it, it’ll smell wrong and he’ll freak out.”</p><p>“Kid logic.” H’lava nodded and shifted her own sad child. Ionnas looked at Teryn with big eyes. </p><p>“You feeling okay, bud?”</p><p>He sniffled and hid his face. “His buir was killed on Navarro.” H’lava said, patting his back. “So I took him. He’s mostly fine, but he has bad days sometimes.” </p><p>Teryn felt the back of his neck and nodded reassuringly. </p><p>“You check his pulse, too?” H’lava chuckled slightly at Teryn’s rueful nod. “You still do that.”</p><p>“Mmmhmm. Habit, really.”</p><p>They paced a bit, and the Kid eventually stopped his weeping. Teryn went to the kitchen to find him something to drink, and brought some water for the little boy as well. </p><p>“What did you….do? After?”  </p><p>“Several things I’d rather forget. Then the Rebel Alliance for most of the war. Then I was a simple country doctor on a mining planet for a few years. Then….”  she gestured around. “Here.”</p><p>“A simple country doctor.” H’lava sounded dubious. </p><p>“Yup. It was…. Quiet. No 48 hour stretches of combat surgery and then having to move the field hospital and do another 48 hours. I had a <em> garden. </em>”</p><p>“What was it like?” She didn’t mean being a simple country doctor. Or gardening. </p><p>Teryn was silent for a few minutes. “Weird. Areutiise talk. A lot. They feel entitled to names, which…” She wrinkled her nose. “I never got used to that.” The Kid put his head on Teryn’s shoulder and wound his claws into her hair.  </p><p>“I like the…” H’lava gestured to Teryn’s hair. “It’s pretty.”</p><p>“There had to be at least one trade off, right?”  Teryn gave a half-smile. “Thanks.”  </p><p>“When… when he comes back, what are you going to do?” She meant Rokr. </p><p>“I’m going to kill him.” </p><p>H’lava cocked her head. “When was the last time you trained?” Teryn shrugged, shamefaced. “Do you… would want to…?” </p><p>“Really?”  </p><p>“I want that fucker dead, so... “</p><p>Teryn nodded. “That would probably be a good idea. Thanks.”  </p><p>H’lava yawned, and Ionnas squirmed.  “Are you ready to go to sleep, ad’ika?”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“Do you want me to take him? I don’t think this one is likely to fall asleep soon, either, but I have a truly absorbing discourse on the vascular systems of twi’leks I can read to them. If that doesn’t knock them out, nothing will.”  She waved her datapad. </p><p>H’lava hesitated, but she <em> was </em> tired, and if Din Djarin, the most overprotective Buir she’d ever seen, trusted his Foundling with her, then fuck it. “Will you be okay with her and her vod’ad? I need some sleep, ad’ika.”  </p><p>Ionnas looked at H’lava dubiously, then at Teryn. “‘Kay.” He whispered something else, then crawled over into Teryn’s lap. Teryn raised an eyebrow in question.  </p><p>“He said you had nice songs.” H’lava went to go to her bed, then turned back. “I…. um, I’m glad you’re, you know. Not dead.” She paused, and said quickly. “And that the Al’verde didn’t kill you.”  </p><p>“There are days where I’m not.” Teryn sighed. H’lava patted Ionnas on the back and nodded good night.  “I have nice songs, huh? I didn’t think anyone could hear them.”</p><p>“Sometimes.” He shivered. </p><p>“Are you cold? The forge room is usually warm. We can go in there.” He looked dubious.  </p><p>“Not allowed.”</p><p>Teryn smiled conspiratorially. “I snuck in there at night when I was your age all the time.” He continued to be dubious, even as he followed her in, trailing his own blanket. All three of them sat in a corner, the Kid curled up on Teryn’s shoulder, and Ionnas settled himself on her lap. </p><p>She started reading from the datapad, keeping her voice low and monotonous. The warmth and the steady tone lulled both kids to sleep, and before long, Teryn’s eyes drooped shut and her head rested against the wall. <em> Just a few minutes.  </em></p><p>The Armorer came into the forge in the morning to find not only Teryn and the Kid and Ionnas, but two other Foundlings plus Atin in the pile. Teryn blinked as she woke up and frowned. “I… I swear there were only two before.”  The Armorer picked one of the spare kids up and nudged the other two awake. The Kid blinked sleepily and smiled. Teryn smiled back. “Feeling better?”  </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>A few days later, after a training session, Teryn went to get food in the common room. It had been going well, but she was woefully out of practice fighting an actual person. Her armor was still in the carton in her room. She hadn’t discussed wearing it with the Armorer, and didn’t feel comfortable even admitting she still had it.  </p><p>Paz sat at a table, and she passed him on the way to the kitchen to get a bowl of stew. The Kid was playing with the other Foundlings, and she was starving. He snarled, “Delmagolka” under his breath, and she faltered slightly. While he wasn’t the only one who didn’t like her continuing to stay, he was the one who was most visible about it.</p><p>She had to pass him again once she had her food- sure, she could circle around, but it would be incredibly obvious that’s what she was doing, and that level of weakness wouldn’t stand. “Fucking zealot,” she muttered, and behind her, she heard him start to stand up. </p><p>She flung the stew behind her into the face of his helmet, and kicked back, hitting his shoulder. He was off balance, and went backwards, ass over helmet.  </p><p>Paz slowly picked himself up, and Teryn looked at him, narrowed her eyes, and deliberately turned her back to him. She wasn’t surprised when she felt him grab her hair and yank her backwards. Either he would do that or let her walk, and at this point, he wasn’t going to let her do that. She let out a hiss. </p><p>“<em>Fucking finally.” </em></p><p>She reached up and clapped a hand over the hand he had fisted in her hair, twisted under his arm, and threw her elbow into his unarmored armpit. <em> Buncha nerves in there. </em>He reflexively let go of her hair, and she vaulted up and around on his back, hands scrabbling at his helmet. He threw himself back at the wall, and smashed back into it. She let go of his helmet, and he dropped his shoulder, throwing her off his back and on the floor. </p><p>He drew back a foot to kick, and she grabbed his ankle, shooting one foot into his hip and knocking him down. She rolled to the side and hauled herself up to her feet. He lunged forward, reaching for her throat, and she batted one hand away, but he backhanded her across the face with the other, flinging her across the room. </p><p>She pulled herself to her knees, then to standing, feeling the right side of her face already starting to swell, and blood running down her chin. The only sound was her harsh wheezing. He came towards her again, and she grabbed his wrist, swung to the side, and holding his arm out straight, hit his elbow with her palm, with a sickening crunch.  </p><p>He howled in rage, and pulled to the side, and landed a blow to her stomach. The wind left her body in a rush, and she struggled to inhale, bent over, when another blow landed on the back of her shoulder, knocking her down to her hands and knees. “Stay down, dammit!”</p><p>She stared at the floor, and then a distressed sound made her look up.  The Foundlings were crowded in the door to the common room, staring, and the Kid was in front. Eyes wide, claws clenched into tiny fists. He flicked his eyes to Paz, then back to her. </p><p><em> Get your ass up. </em> She thought. <em> Get. Up. </em></p><p>Wheezing, she staggered to her feet. Her right eye was almost swollen shut, everything hurt, and she couldn’t take a solid breath, but she was standing. “<em>Fuck you.</em>”</p><p>He exhaled sharply, drew his vibroblade and slashed wildly. Instinctively, she threw up her arm to block her face, and didn’t even feel the blade as it sliced deeply into her forearm. He gasped as he realized what he’d just done. She stared at her arm, bleeding freely, and felt one of her shock batons smack into her other hand. </p><p>She flicked it on, and made a short, vicious, brutal upward swing right between his legs. He dropped like a stone.   </p><p>She glared at the rest of the Covert, gathered silently around the edges of the common room. “Anyone. Else?”  <br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>demagolka: someone who commits atrocties, a real-life monster, a war criminal - from the notorious Mandalorian scientist of the Old Republic, Demagol, known for his experiments on children, and a figure of hate and dread in the Mando psyche<br/>Buir: Parent<br/>Ad'ika: Child, little one<br/>Vod'ad: Brother's child<br/>Areutiise: Outsiders<br/>Ge’hutuun: bandit, villain, petty thief - can also mean a serious criminal you have no respect for - abusive<br/>Ba'vodu: Father's sibling<br/>di'kut: idiot, useless individual, waste of space (lit. someone who forgets to put their pants on)<br/>Al’verde: commander</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. My praise is not for them, but the one who sings in the dead of night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's fallout from the fight with Paz, some singing, and new arrivals.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>There wasn’t anyone else. Take out the biggest threat and all other threats leave you alone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She managed to stagger to the med bay on her own, brushing off any attempts to offer assistance. Tabor followed. “What should I…. I mean, he needs…” He paused and straightened up. “I should see to the Al’verde.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded, and held the ice pack he’d handed her to her face. “Get me my bag, I can do most of this. Fuck, this hurts.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do I do for electrical shock?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn found that laughing also hurt. “Make sure his heart is still beating, check for burns at the point of contact. Um. Sorry about that. I don’t think it was on high, so… he should be fine. Ish.” Tabor started for the door and she called after him, “You know what to do for the elbow, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her arm needed the most immediate attention, and while the angle was awkward for self-suturing, it was possible. The eye that was swollen shut and the probable concussion made it a lot more difficult. She wrapped a bandage around it to wait until she had help and was delicately applying bacta gel to her face when H’lava came in with a screaming Kid.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, look. See? I’m okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no no! Kadala!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, buddy, I’m fine. It’s just a little bruising.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Half of your face looks like raw meat.” H’lava said wryly. “Think of how much worse that would have been if we hadn’t started training.” She set the Kid down on a chair and grabbed Teryn’s arm. “Bacta patches?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tape it closed, first.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cheap di’kut.” H’lava rolled her eyes, and found the tape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I prefer to think of myself as thrifty.”  The Kid made a worried sound and climbed down from the chair, holding out his hands. Teryn looked at him firmly out of her good eye. “NO. Absolutely not.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pouted. He could </span>
  <em>
    <span>help. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“No. I earned these. They’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>H’lava slapped on a bacta patch with slightly more force than was necessary and wrapped a bandage around it all. “Now what do you need?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s a nasal spray bottle in that bag, and somewhere there’s a jar with some green goop in it.” Teryn shook her head, trying to clear it. “I can’t… I don’t know where it is. Spray first.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabor came back in as she was using the spray. “He’s declined help.” His tone indicated that Paz hadn’t been very gracious about it. He nodded at the nasal spray. “What's that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bacta based nasal spray. Good for concussions. Goes through the blood-brain barrier.” Teryn blinked several times. “You know, we should get the Foundlings in here for a lesson on how to fix your own face.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We don’t usually have facial injuries like this. Because we’re not dumb enough to pick a fight like that without </span>
  <em>
    <span>armor.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Or a </span>
  <em>
    <span>helmet.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  H’lava said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn glared through her one good eye. “All head and no helmet?” There was an awkward silence and Teryn grinned slightly. “I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>concussed</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She</span>
  </em>
  <span> wants to see you.” Tabor said, hesitantly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I bet she does.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“With your armor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn and H’lava looked at Tabor, and then each other. “Do you even still have it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded, mouth dry. “It’s in my room.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll go get it.” H’lava squeezed Teryn on the shoulder- the one Paz had just pounded. Teryn hissed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You did that on purpose.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“K’atini, shu’shuk!” H’lava tossed over her shoulder. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’s just pain, you disaster.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn tried to leave the Kid with Tabor, but he refused, clinging to her. His ba’vodu may have refused his help, but she clearly could not be trusted on her own. “Fine, but you have to be quiet. Okay?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He nodded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the Forge, H’lava had already delivered the carton with her armor, and Paz was sitting, hunched over, groaning quietly. Teryn put the Kid down against the wall, and stood out of range, not that Paz seemed capable of making any attack.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer looked at them both in disappointed silence, then walked over to Teryn and grabbed her chin to examine the damage to her face. “This ends now. You have both made your point.” Paz made a sound of disagreement, and the Armorer turned. “No. You have </span>
  <em>
    <span>made your point</span>
  </em>
  <span>. We do not have the luxury of allowing you two to kill each other. You will both end this now. Understood?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded. Paz grunted an assent.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Al’verde, go and have your injuries tended to. I believe the </span>
  <span>baar’ur can manage your elbow.” Paz slowly headed for the door, then turned to look at Teryn. She eyed him warily, and he gave a single nod. His Matriarch had spoken.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded back and released a breath. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And you. Fighting unarmored. I expected better of you.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I….” Teryn stammered. “I didn’t think...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You still have it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn squirmed. “Yes.” She nodded at the carton.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Armorer opened it and removed the cuirass. “This is still in good condition, I see.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I kept it clean and maintained.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have you worn it?” The Armored picked up the other pieces, turning them over in her hands.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn shook her head, throat suddenly thick. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yet you kept it all these years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm. It needs some work.” She stood. “I will improve it. If you intend to challenge the hu’tuun, you will need this.” Teryn stared, confused. “You have a question?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t know if I would be allowed to wear it again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These circumstances are… unusual.” Teryn nodded, and the Armorer cocked her head. “You do not ask about a helmet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Indeed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn paused. “You will allow me to challenge him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes. If I may offer some advice?” At Teryn’s hesitant nod, The Armorer said, with some amusement in her voice. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Duck faster.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Several days later, Teryn’s bruises had fades to a muted riot of purples and yellows and greens. The Kid had reluctantly agreed to not help, even if he didn’t understand why. The detent with Paz had continued, and the tension within the Covert had lessened considerably. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Between the Kid and Ionnas, the Foundlings got her to sing for them. Sometimes she’d sing the mining songs she learned, or others she’d picked up through the war, but more often she’d pull the very old Mando’a songs from her memory- the ones she’d been careful not to sing in front of anyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I was walking all alone<br/>
</span>
  <span>I heard two galaar making a moan<br/>
</span>
  <span>The one unto the other did say<br/>
</span>
  <span>Where shall we gang and dine today-o?<br/>
</span>
  <span>Where shall we gang and dine today-o?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In beyond an old fell dyke<br/>
</span>
  <span>I know there lies a new slain knight<br/>
</span>
  <span>And nobody knows that he lies there,<br/>
</span>
  <span>But his hawk and his hound and his servant there-o.<br/>
</span>
  <span>But his hawk and his hound and his servant there-o.</span>
</p><p><span>His hound is to the hunting game<br/>
</span><span>His hawk to fetch the wild fowl hame.<br/>
</span>His servant’s taken another Creed-o<br/>
<span>So we may make our dinner sweet-o.<br/>
</span><span>So we may make our dinner sweet-o.</span></p><p>
  <span>We will sit on his white house-bone<br/>
</span>
  <span>And I’ll pick out his bonny blue e’en.<br/>
</span>
  <span>With a lock of his golden hair,<br/>
</span>
  <span>We’ll thick our nest when it grows bare-o<br/>
</span>
  <span>We’ll thick our nest when it grows bare-o</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s many a one for him make moan<br/>
</span>
  <span>But none shall know where he is gone<br/>
</span>
  <span>Over his white bones when they are bare<br/>
</span>
  <span>The wind shall blow forever more-o<br/>
</span>
  <span>The wind shall blow forever more. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Foundlings loved it. They loved the attention. While music had been something her generation had grown up with, between the decimated population and the need for secrecy, it was something they hadn’t even realized they didn’t get much of. An occasional lullaby was one thing. The history songs, the folk songs, the games were quite another.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There had been a game, Buc’yeLaar -a singing game- where one person would beat a rhythm on a helmet, and others would sing a melody to go with the rhythm. Progressively, the song would get more complex as people would weave in and out, and as the drummer would vary the rhythm. The idea was that the game worked best with cooperation, and building on what others produced. Teryn had loved it, and she hadn’t let herself think of it- there had been no one else who even knew that it existed, much less how to play. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(The negotiations over what helmet to use- one of theirs before they came of age, swiping one from a sleeping parent or older sibling, were also an important learning opportunity. Different helmets had different sounds, plus the added difficulty of who could afford to get in trouble for leaving a parent without their helmet made the game’s stakes even higher.) </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn had taken to sneaking out and sitting under the sky for a few minutes every day. Sometimes she took the Kid, and sometimes she didn’t, but even a few minutes of solitude was precious. There had been years of being alone, of having no one but the loth cats to talk to regularly. There weren’t many people (</span>
  <em>
    <span>too few)</span>
  </em>
  <span> but everyone was there </span>
  <em>
    <span>all the time.</span>
  </em>
  <span> And she just wasn’t used to it anymore. Even the time with Din and the Kid was a bit much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone knew that she snuck out, and politely ignored it. It was the only way to live in that environment. Everyone knew everything about everyone and just pretended that they didn’t. It was, Teryn had to admit to herself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>exhausting. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>At the same time, it was comforting and familiar. Now that her position was more or less settled - more than areutii, less than aliit- having people who </span>
  <em>
    <span>understood</span>
  </em>
  <span> around was something she’d missed. She’d tried to make herself forget; at the same time she had craved it. There had always been people around during the war, but she held all of them at an arm’s length. It wasn’t the same. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Andrys had always been held at a remove. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hate you less than everyone else, </span>
  </em>
  <span>she’d told him once. He laughed. She wasn’t sure if he understood that she was being completely serious. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Life was full of contradictions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid had become restless, too- it had been nearly a month since Din and Ordo had left, and he kept looking towards the entrance. He’d be playing or sitting with whichever adult he’d conned into holding him and feeding him (He even managed to get Paz to play with him for a few minutes, until there were witnesses), and then suddenly hop down, and sit by the entrance for a bit, before wandering back.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn was up in the ruins when H’lava found her. “We just received a message from the Razor Crest. They’re on their way back, they said they have injuries. Bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn jumped to her feet. “How long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Few hours.” They started back down into the tunnels, “The Baar’ur is in the med bay, getting things set up, but he’s worried that he doesn’t know how you want things.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn nodded. “Thanks.” They started walking again. “Injuries, plural? There’s only two of them.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does my vod’ad know?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s anxious, but he might just be picking up on everyone else.” H’lava’s tone indicated she wasn’t sure about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn found the Kid, and he wound his claws into her hair while she went to the med bay. Tables set up. Equipment. Pain meds. Bacta. Sutures. Stand next to the table with her eyes closed and point to everything. Make sure Tabor knew where things were. He was, at the moment, tense, but calm.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When everything was set up, she took the Kid into the Forge to wait. The Armorer was working, and the sound of the hammer on beskar was soothing. The Kid watched, fascinated, Teryn closed her eyes and let the rhythm wash over them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn found herself humming along with the rhythm the Armorer created, and then singing. There was a pause as the Armorer heard, then she began the rhythm again, angling herself so she could hear the wordless song. The Kid leaned back against Teryn’s chest and let the resonance from her voice soothe him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Paz came in to tell them the Razor Crest had landed, and stopped when he realized what she was doing. No one left in the Covert really could play Buc’yeLaar well, and even before, it was dangerous to make so much noise in the sewers of Navarro. To hear it again, even with only one person, was...affecting. He cleared his throat and when she looked over at him, he nodded. </span>
  <em>
    <span>They’re here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn hurried to the med bay, stopping to give the Kid to the oldest Foundling. “Don’t let him see,” she muttered, and the Foundling nodded. He understood. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She went to the med bay, where Tabor was already waiting. She could hear him breathing deeply, and she raised an eyebrow at him. “Doing okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” They turned at the sound of running footsteps, and Teryn took a steadying breath just as Din came in with a hoverstretcher, Ordo following with another one. Each stretcher had a Mandalorian in armor on it, and Teryn didn’t recognize either of them. She glanced at Tabor, and he also tilted his head in confusion.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not you two?” At Din’s head shake, she looked down and took a sharp breath.  One of the people on the stretcher was impaled through with a metal rod of some kind, and there were massive blaster burns on his armor. The other was groaning. “Where did these guys come from?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din shrugged, echoed by Ordo. “Found them at the end of a fight, brought them straight back here.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turned her attention back to the wounded men and gestured down the hall where they could all hear the Kid howling. “Go find your ad’ika. He’s missed you.” Din nodded and left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Kid was over the moons to see his Buir. He shrieked in joy, and then started crying in relief, burying his face into Din’s neck. Din was also very happy to see his Kid, and more relieved than he had expected to be that he seemed </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay</span>
  </em>
  <span>. As much as he wanted to just go to his room and be with the Kid, he needed to give his report.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ordo had already presented the credits to the Armorer, and they waited for Din to join them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did they come from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We found them at the end of a fight while we were on </span>
  <span>Lutrilla</span>
  <span>. One was unconscious and the other was holding off their attackers, but only just barely. We finished off the attackers, brought them back to the Razor Crest, and decided to bring them back here right away.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did you recognize them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Were they able to tell you where they were from?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, they were both unconscious. One of them woke up just as we came out of hyperspace but he wasn’t able to tell us anything yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hmm.”  The Armorer waved them off. “Go find food and rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Din took the Kid and a plate of food back to his room. He just wanted time with his ad’ika, and the Kid, once they left the Forge, had been chattering non-stop. The occasional clear word would come through, but mostly it was just a string of babbling sounds. The tone, however- the tone was exactly the sound of someone filling him in on all the gossip he had missed.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Akaanir? Fight? There was a fight?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Judging from the Kid’s excitement, Din had missed quite a lot. He got to their room (shit, the crib was still in Teryn’s room), pulled off his helmet. He’d managed to buy a new stuffed frog while they were out- he was pretty sure Ordo hadn’t seen that. The Kid sighed happily, clutching his new toy and his Buir. His Buir was home, and his Buir was safe, and everything was okay.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Teryn turned her attention to the impaled warrior. This would be extremely tricky. It would be difficult even under ideal conditions, and these were… not those. She was mentally running through the available supplies and looked up at Tabor. “How’s yours?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s uh…. He’s got a broken….” He stopped and tried to take a deep breath. “I can’t….”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get yourself together. We. Do. Not. Have. Time.” Teryn started removing the armor on her patient, her moves quick and assured. “You can have a panic attack and fall apart </span>
  <em>
    <span>later</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Right now, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>do not have permission.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t…. I can’t...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“YOU CAN AND YOU WILL. What’s wrong with him? Tell me.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Broken ankle and…um. And blaster burns.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s it?” He nodded. “You know what to do for those. So do it, and then come here and </span>
  <em>
    <span>help me</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” He hesitated, and she looked up again. “Shaadlar, verd! </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jii, jii!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> At her barked order he jumped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he couldn’t handle blaster burns and a broken limb, there wasn’t any hope for him, Teryn thought. To his credit, he had his patient treated and came over to help quickly. They spent hours trying to get the man stabilized. Teryn tried every trick she knew, but the fact was there was just too much damage. The best they could hope was to tread water, but time was running out for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally, she stood up and shook her head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabor looked at her, in shock. “What else? He’s not… you have to keep </span>
  <em>
    <span>trying.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”  She shook her head again, face tight with frustration. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The kid is right,” another voice rasped- the other Mandalorian. “Keep. Trying.” His fingers twitched along his leg where his sidearm would be if they hadn’t removed his armor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have anything else I can try.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can’t let him just…” the man’s voice broke. “Arkil, gar shuk meh kyrayc, vod’ika. Gedet’ye. K’arkaanir. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Gedet’ye</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” <em>You're no good dead, little brother. Please. Fight. Please. </em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tabor’s breathing became labored again- sharp and shallow. Teryn glanced at him. “Go.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can… I still can…” He shook his head and looked around. “Are there more? There’s always more.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn looked at him sharply. “No, there aren’t. Not now. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Go</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Tabor stumbled out, shoulders hunched in shame. She sighed. She could have handled that better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She gave the dying man another dose of pain medication. “I won’t leave him alone. I’m sorry.” Teryn pushed the hoverstretchers closer together. “Are you in pain?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I can take it.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teryn rolled her eyes. “I didn’t ask if you can take it. I asked if you were in pain.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” He reached over and took his brother’s hand. “There’s really nothing?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat down on the other side of the dying man, removed his glove, and took his bare hand. “I won’t leave him alone.” she repeated. Teryn held the man’s hand, and listened as his breathing got shallower and shallower.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Bíum bíum bambaló,<br/>
</span>
  <span>Bambaló og dillidillidó</span><br/>

  <span>Vini mínum vagga ég í ró<br/>
</span>
  <span>En úti biður andlit á glugga” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time she’d reached the end, the shallow breathing had stopped completely. She carefully placed his hand on his chest, and covered him with a sheet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr,advc, ni partayli, gar darsuum.” </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two Galaar is shamelessly adapted from Twa Corbies, a traditional Scottish folk song. It is delightfully creepy, and one of my favorites.<br/>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4gLZe15BFQ<br/>Lyrics: http://www.rampantscotland.com/songs/blsongs_corbies.htm</p><p>(The theory being this is a Mando'a song from back when fighting the Jedi was a regular occurrence.)</p><p>The lullaby is the same one we've been using all the way through.  Bíum bíum bambaló, Icelandic lullaby (I looked for "Creepy lullabys" and loved the sound of this): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFExVA2j8Rk</p><p> </p><p>Mando'a translations: </p><p>Al’verde: Commander<br/>Kadala: Hurt<br/>di’kut:  idiot, useless individual, waste of space (lit. someone who forgets to put their pants on)<br/>baar’ur:  medic<br/>hu’tuun: coward (worst possible insult)<br/>areutii: Outsider<br/>aliit: family<br/>vod’ad: Brother's child<br/>Buc’yeLaar: HelmetSong<br/>Akaanir: fight<br/>Shaadlar: move<br/>Verd: Soldier<br/>Jii: Now!<br/>gar shuk meh kyrayc: You're no use dead.<br/>Gedet’ye: Please.<br/>K’arkaanir: Fight (Imperitive)<br/>Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr,advc, ni partayli, gar darsuum. Daily remembrance of those passed on *I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal.*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. History's about to get overthrown</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>There's only one thing y'all are gonna care about in this chapter.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The wounded one had fallen asleep at some point, and she tucked a blanket over him, as well. With a gentle pat on his hand, she went to find something to eat. It had been hours.  </p><p>Din was in the common room, with a sleeping Kid clutching his cuirass. “Well?”</p><p>“One of them didn’t make it. The other… he should be okay.” Din sighed and hung his head. “It didn’t matter how fast you got here. There was nothing anyone could have done for him.”  </p><p>He looked down at the sleeping Kid, and before he could even put voice the question, she shook her head. “It was too much, and he’s so small. It would be unfair to even ask it of him. I won’t do that.” She touched the Kid’s ear, which twitched slightly even as he slept on. “He missed you. He did okay, but he missed you a lot.” </p><p>“He told me. At great length.” Din gestured at the seat across from him and pointed at the fading bruises on her face. “Did you win?”</p><p>“Ask the Al’verde how his balls are feeling.” </p><p>Din rolled his eyes. “You said you weren’t going to pick fights.”</p><p>“I think, if you recall that conversation, I did no such thing. And, technically, I didn’t pick it.” </p><p>“Mmmmhmmmm.”</p><p>“Anyway, she told us to knock it off. It’s settled, mostly.” Teryn shrugged. “Things are...okay.” </p><p>Din looked down at the sleeping Kid.  “Can I ask you something?” At Teryn’s nod, he paused, then asked, “Do you remember anything before you were Found? Your birth parents or…anything?”</p><p>She shook her head. “Sometimes I feel like there’s a scrap of a song at the edge of my mind. If I reach for it, it slides away. But I don’t remember anything specific about them. I don’t even know what planet I was born on.”  </p><p>“I’m sure Buir could have told you.”</p><p>“If I’d asked. I never did.” </p><p>“Did you want to? Remember?”</p><p>She thought about it for a minute. “I did think about it a little after….well. After. But I had nothing to go back to, so…. What good would it have done? And until then, it wasn’t important. I was a Mandalorian. I was Mando’ad. That was… enough. And then the Siege, and the Purge, and then after…. ” She shrugged. “Even after, it ultimately didn’t seem that important.” She gave a wry half-smile. “I guess I could ask Gideon, but I have a feeling it won’t come up.”</p><p>Din scoffed quietly. “It might. You don’t know.” </p><p> “Are you asking for him, or for you?”</p><p>“Him, mostly. I remember things.” He tucked the cape more securely around the Kid. “I just wonder what he’ll remember, and what I can’t tell him when… if he wants to know. Fifty years is a long time. But he’s still so <em> little</em>.” </p><p>She knew what he wasn’t saying, and what he was worrying about. “He’ll remember you.” </p><p>“I hope so.”  </p><p>“He will. What ever happened before- this? You? This has been pretty good for him. You’ve been good for him. He’ll remember.”  </p><p>“He’ll probably remember your damn cat more.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s definitely true.” They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit.</p><p>“We stopped at Navarro. Cara says hello. And she had some information.” </p><p>“About the job that got fucked up?”</p><p>“Yes. It was a legit bounty, near as anyone can tell, and him going back there appears to just have been bad luck on our part. But she found evidence that someone had hacked into Karga’s files, and could have found out who I had pucks on.” </p><p>“Ah. That’s something he should work on.” </p><p>“And there’s been someone on Navarro asking around about you.”  </p><p>“<em>Oh </em>.”</p><p>“Not by name, but the description is pretty unmistakable.”  Din shrugged. “You were seen with Cara, which means no one there will give anyone any information without her say-so, but… “</p><p>“That’s not great.” She yawned and put her head down on her arms. </p><p>“Could be worse.”</p><p>“Still not great.” She chewed on the news for a bit. “Did anyone have a description of who was asking?”</p><p>“Human man. Might have had hair. Not helpful.” Din glanced over, and she had already fallen asleep. He let himself have a ghost of a smile, looking at his sleeping family. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t sleep long, and went back to the med bay after an hour or so. Tabor had slunk back in when she left, but he’d fallen asleep sitting up, and jerked awake at her approach. “Ni ceta, ni ceta…. I just… I just sat down for a minute.” </p><p>“Look, if you’d been trained like I was, you would have been woken up with cold water and pushups, but I don’t have the energy for that.” She raised an eyebrow. “What happened? Before? What set you off?”</p><p>“The last time…anything like this... it was…”</p><p>“Navarro.”</p><p>“Yeah.” He hung his head. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t… make it stop.” </p><p>“I should have been able to help you more. But sometimes you need to power through. Do you know how to pull yourself out of a panic attack?”</p><p>He nodded. “I list five things I can see, four things I can touch, three things I can hear, two things I can smell, and one thing I can taste.”</p><p>“That’s right. So next time, we’ll remember that.” </p><p>“Will there be a next time?” He sounded so young. </p><p>“You’re a Baar’ur. There’s always a next time. And you will need to be able to pull yourself out and do your job. I won’t always be here to yell at you.” </p><p>Teryn sat down, then stood up, too full of nervous energy. <em> There’s always something to do, something to organize. Check your supplies. Check your notes. Check your patients. </em>She went into the supply room and fussed. </p><p>The wounded man began to thrash weakly, and Teryn went to his side. He shook his helmeted head and looked around. “Where am I?” His voice was deep and rough around the edges, even allowing for the voice modulator. </p><p>“In a safe place.” Teryn answered, giving Tabor a warning look. <em> We don’t know this guy. Don’t admit too much. </em>He gave a quick nod. The injured man looked towards Tabor. </p><p>“Is this a covert? I remember others...” At Tabor’s nod he looked around the med bay, and his gaze landed on the body of the other man, the one he’d called Arkil.  “That was real.”  </p><p>“Yes.”  Teryn gave him a quick scan. “How do you feel? How are the burns?”</p><p>He turned and looked at her, head tilted in confusion. “Who are you?”</p><p>“The doctor.” She looked at the scanner. “Looks like the ankle fracture is set well. How’s the pain?”</p><p>“Kitaani,” he said dismissively.</p><p>“Save me from Mando’ade and their stubborness.” Teryn rolled her eyes with her entire body. “Yes, it’s just pain, I know. But weirdly, you heal faster with pain management. So suck it up.” </p><p>“If you’re the doctor, who is he?”  </p><p>“I’m her apprentice.” Teryn gave him a sharp side-eye at that pronouncement. They hadn’t discussed that at all.</p><p>“Sure. That makes sense, apprenticed to an areutii.” </p><p>Teryn rolled her eyes again, but before she could respond Tabor burst, “She isn’t areutii! She’s-” </p><p>“Complicated. I’m complicated.”  She glared at Tabor. “Go get alor.”  He scampered out.</p><p>The man struggled to set up. “Not meeting your chief lying on my ass.” </p><p>“You can’t put weight on your foot. You can sit up, but no standing.”</p><p>“I can take it.” He put both feet on the floor and stifled a groan as he stood up. </p><p>She shrugged. “It’s your ass.” </p><p>The Armorer came in followed by Paz, Din, and Ordo. The wounded man stood. “Cuan Tadasco, of Clan Lytau.” </p><p>The Armorer cocked her head and nodded, while Teryn and Din exchanged a look of narrow-eyed confusion. Paz shifted his weight in irritation. “You are welcome here, Cuan Tadasco of Clan Lytau. How are your injuries?”</p><p>“They’re fine.” </p><p>The Armorer glanced at Teryn who made an “eh” gesture with her hand.  “Please sit down.” He sat back down on the bed with a tiny sigh of relief. “And the other Mando’ad that was with you?”</p><p>“My vod, Arkil Tadasco.”  His shoulders sagged a little.  </p><p>“I am sorry for his death.” </p><p>“Where am I?”  </p><p>The Armorer paused, considering. “Jelucan.” </p><p>“I hadn’t heard of a covert on Jelucan.”</p><p>“We have not been here long. What were you doing on Lutrilla when our beroya found you?” </p><p>“Chasing down rumors about Moff Gideon.”  Paz let out a low growl, and Din shifted his stance. Teryn’s face went through a series of emotions- interest, concern, a bit of fear, a lot of anger, and she flicked her eyes at Din. “Ah. You’ve heard of him.”</p><p>“We have. What were the rumors?”</p><p>“We have heard that he has the Darksaber.” He said that with the exact right amount of diffidence. </p><p>“Oh <em> fuck. </em>” Paz breathed. </p><p>“Do you know where he is?” Din asked. </p><p>“No. But he’s looking for something, and rumor has it the thing he’s looking for is being held by Mandalorians.”  </p><p>Din glanced at Teryn. <em> Control your face, vod’ika. </em> She gave a tiny nod. </p><p>“Do you know what he’s looking for?”</p><p>“No, but there are also rumors of Mandalorian beroya that made off with a bounty instead of turning it in.” Cuan looked at Din and Ordo, head cocked speculatively, then quickly looked at Teryn. </p><p>She kept her face still- just raised an eyebrow slightly. <em> Nice try. </em></p><p>Cuan shrugged. “I don’t know if those two pieces of information are related, but I do find them interesting.”  </p><p>“Indeed. Do you have a ship?”</p><p>“We did, but I suspect that by the time I’m able to get back to Lutrilla, it’ll have been stripped by Jawas.” </p><p>“We will make sure you get home.” The Armorer walked over to Arkil’s body. “I also did not want to honor him until you were conscious. I assume you’ll want to take back his beskar’gam when you return?”</p><p>“Yes. Thank you.”  </p><p>“Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.” Teryn asked. </p><p>“That would be good.”  </p><p>Teryn followed the others out of the med bay, and once they were out of ear shot, Din stopped them. “I would prefer we keep my ad’ika out of his sight if possible.”</p><p>Ordo nodded. “A healthy amount of paranoia is healthy.” </p><p>The Armorer agreed. “We don’t know him. It is good to be cautious. Al’verde, let everyone else know, including the older Foundlings?” Paz nodded. Teryn went to get food. </p><p>Teryn came back to the med bay with food and some water, knocked on the doorjamb, and waited until he grunted an assent before coming in. “That smells really good.”</p><p>Blue green eyes looked up at her from the bed, and a smile broke out over his scruffy face. Teryn’s eyes widened and she shrieked, “OH FUCK, oh shit, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” She turned around so he could put his helmet back on.  </p><p>“...what?”</p><p>“Your…. Helmet? I’m sorry, I knocked and you said come in. Fuck, I am so sorry.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>She frowned at the wall. “You do realize you don’t have your helmet on? You didn‘t have a concussion before....”  </p><p>“...yes?“</p><p>“I’m confused.” </p><p>“So am I.”  He made a sound of frustration. “Would you turn around?” </p><p>“...Do you have it back on?”</p><p>“I… fine.”  She heard him moving and then the sound of the helmet settling on his head. “You can turn around now.”</p><p>She turned, several questions racing to come out. They coalesced into, “What the fuck?”</p><p>“You don’t… I mean. The kid said you weren’t an outsider.”</p><p>“That doesn’t mean that I’m aliit! I’m sure as hell not <em> your </em>aliit!”  </p><p>“I mean…. But…. you speak Mando’a. You sing in Mando’a. You’re here. What are you?”</p><p>She stared at him, frowning and perplexed. “I don’t know. But I’m not…You don’t… they… for fuck’s sake, we only take off helmets with aliit.” </p><p>“...oh.” He thought about that for a minute. “What’s your name?”</p><p>She drew back, and her face rearranged itself to being completely disgusted at his rudeness. </p><p>“You don’t…” He thought again. “What is your <em> deal? </em>”</p><p>“My deal? My personal deal?” At his nod she let out a breath through her nose in frustration. “You’re appallingly rude.”  </p><p>“So I’ve been told.”  </p><p>“You’ve been in this covert for approximately five minutes. That doesn’t entitle you to my <em> name. </em>” </p><p>“So what should I call you?”</p><p>“Doctor.”</p><p>“Fine. Doc. People don’t take their helmets off inside?”  </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“And you don’t tell people you don’t know your names.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Friendly.”</p><p>“No.” </p><p>“Jumpy?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>He sighed. “Seriously, though. Them, I get. I’m gonna guess they’re one of the remnants of Death Watch, which would make a lot of sense. You, though. You I don’t get.”</p><p>“Maybe you don’t get to “get” me.” She put the plate down just out of his reach and folded her arms. </p><p>"<em>You’re </em>appallingly rude.”</p><p>“I know.” </p><p>They stared at each other for a minute. “I think… I think I would like some pain killers, if you don’t mind.”</p><p>She smirked. “You tough guys always come around.”</p><p>She was in the supply room, getting the pain killers and had unearthed some crutches, when Din knocked.. “Vod’ika, the Talon just landed.” At Teryn’s confused frown, he said. “The other ship. His ship. He’s…. Here. Now.”</p><p>Teryn’s face went white. “Does he know?”</p><p>Din shook his head. “I don’t know.” </p><p>Teryn checked and double checked the dose of the pain killers, and handed them to Cuan. “I have… something I need to do.”  </p><p>“Is everything okay?” He looked from her to Din and back. </p><p>All three of them turned at the sound of a loud voice coming from the common room, and then Din looked back at her. “Vod’ika…”</p><p>Teryn’s face turned hard and determined, and she took a deep breath, rolled her shoulders down and back, and lifted her chin. “Oya.” She strode out the door, Din following. After a pause, Cuan swallowed the painkillers and hobbled after them. </p><p>In the common room, everyone was gathered, even a few of the Foundlings. Rokr was there, talking… just talking, like he had nothing to worry about. He looked up when she entered the room, and whatever he had been saying cut off in a strangled gasp.</p><p>The room went silent. The oldest Foundling took stock of the situation and herded the rest of the Foundlings out, earning an approving pat on his shoulder from his Buir. The rest of the Covert moved off to the sides of the room, and the Armorer stood in the doorway to the Forge.</p><p>Teryn stared at him. He was somehow both bigger and smaller than she remembered, this man that had stalked her through nightmares. Her hands had gone numb, and her stomach was in knots, and her heart was beating so hard she was sure everyone could hear it, but she’d schooled her face into the mask. <em> He’s already done the worst thing he can possibly do to you. There’s nothing to be afraid of. </em></p><p>“The fuck is she doing here?”</p><p>Paz growled, “You got the message about the Foundlings and needing supplies.” </p><p>“Yeah, I stayed away because you said there was disease.”</p><p>“We asked for supplies.”  </p><p>“I didn’t have any.” Rokr whined. “That doesn’t answer my question, though. Why is she here?” </p><p> “I came back because my help was needed.”  </p><p>“Dar’manda.” he hissed. “Hu’tuun.”</p><p>“They know, Rokr.”</p><p>“Know what.” He sneered. </p><p>“They <em>k</em>n<em>ow. </em> I told them what you did to me.”  She stepped forward. “I told them how you tried to get me to leave a wounded vod behind.” A step. “I told them how you killed him.” Another step.  “And I told them how you ripped my helmet off and left me behind because you were too weak to handle a squadron of storm troopers.” She stopped in front of him. “I told them everything.”  </p><p>“Why would they believe you. A hu’tuun that came crawling back on her belly.” He sounded slightly nervous.</p><p>She shrugged. “Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what they believe. I know the truth. And you know the truth. <em>You know what you did</em>.” </p><p>He scoffed. </p><p>She stared at him, eyes narrowed. “I came here to settle a score. And I invoke the code to seek justice through single combat.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oh, the Code. https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mandalorian_code. I didn't have to invent that. </p><p> </p><p>Al’verde: Commander (Paz. It's Paz)<br/>Buir: Parent<br/>Mando’ade: Mandalorians (pl) - sons and/ or daughters of Mandalore<br/>ni ceta: sorry (lit: I kneel) grovelling apology - rare<br/>Baar’ur: medic<br/>Kitaani: "It's only pain."<br/>areutii: Outsider<br/>alor: Chief<br/>vod: Brother<br/>beroya: Bounty hunter<br/>beskar’gam: Armor<br/>ad’ika: Child<br/>aliit: Family, clan<br/>Oya: Many meanings: literally *Let's hunt!* and also *Stay alive!*, but also *Hoorah!*, *Go you!*, *Cheers!* Always positive and triumphant (Maybe a bit more emotional in this case, but she wouldn't use Oya Manda)<br/>Dar’manda: a state of not being Mandalorian - not an outsider, but one who has lost his heritage, and so his identity and his soul - regarded with absolute dread by most traditionall-minded Mando'ade<br/>Hu’tuun: coward (worst possible insult)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. I shake you from side to side until your face shows a sufficient degree of terror</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>(Decided to bump up the posting schedule in this time of plague and pestilence.) </p><p>There's a bunch of good-byes. Some hellos.  </p><p>Oh, and a fight.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I came here to settle a score. And I invoke the code to seek justice through single combat.” </p><p>The entire Covert inhaled sharply. No one had invoked the code like that in years, not there. And while no one was entirely surprised that this is how this confrontation was going to go, it was still a shock to hear the words.</p><p>“You cannot challenge me under the Code of Mandalore!” He hissed. “<em> Dar’Manda. </em>”</p><p>“Thanks to you.”</p><p>“I have decided to allow it.” The Armorer stepped forward. “She has challenged you under the Code of Mandalore, the Way of which you have decided to walk. Do you accept?”</p><p>Rokr looked at the Armorer, and then at Teryn. There was only one answer that would allow him the chance of keeping his honor intact. “I do.” He’d just have to kill her quickly. Bitch didn't have a helmet, or armor. It should be quick.</p><p>“Good.” The Armorer considered them both. “I will give you the night to get things in order. The challenge will commence at dawn.”  </p><p>That gave them about twelve hours.  </p><p>Teryn nodded at the Armorer, turned on her heel, and went back to the med bay, trailed by Din and Cuan. </p><p>Cuan: “What the fuck.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re going to <em> fight </em> that.” </p><p>“I’m going to kill that.” She lifted her chin. </p><p>“Without armor. Or a helmet?”</p><p>“I have armor. Don’t need a helmet.” Well, she <em> would </em> have armor, assuming the Armorer had finished it. </p><p>“Bruises on your face tell another story.” She glared, and he shrugged, like <em> Well, they do. </em> “When? When did he…?”</p><p>“Ten years, nine months, and twenty four days ago.” she answered, immediately. </p><p>Cuan paused. “To the day. You know<em> to the day</em>.”</p><p>“You’d know, too.”</p><p>“You were excommunicated because of a betrayal?”</p><p>“This is the Way,” she snapped, bitterly.</p><p>“Not for us. We would have least heard you out and…. Done something about him.” She could tell he was frowning beneath his own helmet. “Not let him <em> stay </em>, that’s for damn sure.”</p><p>Teryn looked down at her feet. “They didn’t know. They didn’t know what he did. Not until recently.”  </p><p>Cuan looked at Din. “You called her vod’ika.”  </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Did you know?”</p><p>“I didn’t know the truth of it until somewhat recently.”</p><p>“Nine months and twenty two days ago.” Teryn murmured. Din glanced at her and looked down, ashamed. </p><p>“I get you, now.” Cuan reconsidered. “Well, part of you. Why are you here if they wouldn’t even hear you out?”</p><p>“Foundlings.” At his head tilt she sighed. “The Foundlings were ill. They didn’t have enough medical support, so… we came. And… I stayed. Once I kill him… then I don’t know.”</p><p>“What happened here? I only counted fourteen people once your Foundlings left. That’s not a large covert. That’s barely sustainable.”</p><p>“Thirteen. I don’t count.” Din made a quiet sound of disagreement and she shrugged. “I <em> don’t</em>.” </p><p>There was a soft, “Buir?” at the door, and all three looked to see the Kid, toddling towards Din. Din and Teryn both sighed. <em> So much for that plan. </em> </p><p>“Who’s this?”</p><p>Din picked up the Kid. “Ad’ika, you’re supposed to be asleep.”  </p><p>“Kai’tome?” The Kid looked at Cuan, considering. He glanced at Din, then held his arms out to Cuan. </p><p>“I don’t have any food, ad.” Cuan looked at Din for permission, and Din nodded- somewhat reluctantly. Cuan took the Kid in his arms and bounced him gently. “He’s your foundling?” </p><p>Din nodded, hands tense, but the Kid was relaxed and content. Teryn shrugged at him slightly. The Kid was a decent judge of character, at any rate. So that was several points in Cuan’s favor, in her estimation. </p><p>Din was not so convinced. </p><p>“Excuse me?” Tabor hesitated at the door. “She would like to see you. She said it’s done.”  </p><p>In the Forge, the Armorer nodded at the armor she had laid out. Teryn took a sharp breath.</p><p>It had been improved, if not almost entirely replaced. If she wasn’t mistaken, there was considerably more beskar in it, not just durasteel. And The Armorer had included the Kar’ta Beskar. Teryn stroked the Kar’ta with her finger tips.  </p><p>
  <em> Did she forget who she was making it for? </em>
</p><p>“Of course not.” Teryn glanced up guiltily- she hadn’t realized she had said that out loud. “This is yours. No one can take it from you while you are living.” The Armorer gestured to the legs. “There are knee cops, which I know you prefer. Your flamethrower had corroded from lack of use, so there’s a new one.” </p><p>“Thank you.”  </p><p>“I will tell him, and reiterate before you begin, but hand to hand weapons only. No blasters, no flame throwers. Nothing that can harm bystanders. Understood?”</p><p>“Yes, alor.” The Armorer nodded a dismissal, and Teryn picked up the armor and took it back to the med bay, where she was mildly surprised to see Paz waiting. Din’s body language screamed “I don’t know what he’s doing here, but here we are.” </p><p>Paz looked her up and down, and picked up the cuirass. “Looks good.” He considered her for a few minutes. “He hits like a fucking tank, but his timing isn’t great. He leads with his head, and tends to balance forward on the balls of his feet.”</p><p>She nodded warily. “Thank you.”</p><p>He cocked his head and looked her up and down again. “You should cut it off.” He gestured at her hair.  “Too easy to grab.”</p><p>“Get fucked.” </p><p>Paz shrugged. “Just offering you advice. I promise you this though. If he kills you, he won’t survive the day.” </p><p>Din growled. “No, he won’t.”  </p><p>Teryn cocked her head at Paz. “You believe me now?”</p><p>Paz hesitated. “Yes.”  </p><p>“Good.”  They eyed each other warily. After a minute, Paz held something out in his hand- a mythosaur amulet. Like the one he’d pulled from around her neck when she’d tried to come back. She took it, noting that her hand was curiously calm, and inclined her head very, very slightly. </p><p>It was the closest to an apology she would get from him, and closest to a thank you he would get from her. </p><p>Paz nodded again, and left. Cuan made a sound of disgust. “That guy is a piece of work.” </p><p>Din and Teryn glanced at each other, and she snorted. “You’re not wrong.” <br/><br/></p><p>She brought the armor back to her room to put it on. It had been so long- so so long. She wanted privacy.  She ran a hand through her hair before she started armoring up- Paz was right about it being a grab point, but damned if she would admit it, and fuck if she would cut it off. She carefully braided it around her head so it was all up and tidied away. </p><p>She considered the mythosaur amulet for a while, running it between her fingers, before setting it aside. </p><p>First the body suit. Then the tactical pants with the attachment points for the plates, and the knee pads. She spent more time kneeling in combat than most, once things got started. The gambeson next, attached to the pants. Boots, and shin guards. The knee cops. Instead of greaves over the thighs, she had a battle skirt much like the Armorer’s- again, it made sense when kneeling. </p><p>Then the cuirass, front and back. Pauldrons. Vambraces. Cape. Gauntlets. It was only when drops fell on the gauntlets did she realize that she was crying. It felt so right. Comfortable. Like coming home. </p><p>She put on the belt, the holster for a blaster. Tucked her shock batons at the back. Vibroblade in each boot. Amulet tucked into a pouch on the belt. Not ready to wear it, but not willing to remain parted with it. </p><p>
  <em> Girl, if that doesn’t describe your whole entire life... </em>
</p><p>One vambrace had the flamethrower. The other, the one that would normally have controls for helmet functions… had nothing. </p><p>She took a deep shuddering breath, covering her face with her hands. Somehow- somehow this was <em> worse. </em> </p><p>She let herself sob silently- deep ones, sobs that would come from the soul if she still had one. In the end, nothing would change. Except <em> he </em> would be dead, and if that was all the comfort she could expect, she would take it.</p><p>There was a knock on the door and she took a deep breath, then another, trying to calm herself and her face. “Come in.” </p><p>Din was there, with the Kid. “It’s fully dark. We’re going to bury him now.” He looked her up and down, and she could tell he smiled a bit. “It looks good.” </p><p>She gave what she hoped was a brave smile that covered up everything she was feeling. “Thanks.” She picked up her fur cloak and draped it over the armor, almost completely concealing it from view, and pulled the hood all the way up.</p><p>Din wasn’t entirely fooled.<br/><br/></p><p>Deep in the ruins, in a building that had been partially built into a mountainside, the Covert gathered with the body of Arkil Tadasco. The Armorer looked sharply at Teryn, covered in the cloak, but let it go.</p><p>A proper Mandalorian funeral should involve an elevated pyre, and shouting the deeds of the dead warrior to the sky. <em> Our secrecy is our survival.</em> A pyre would be too visible. Shouting would be too loud. For the Covert, they did what they could. </p><p>They covered him in a cairn of rocks, Cuan putting on the first and the last. “Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr,advc, ni partayli, gar darsuum, Arkil Tadasco, of Clan Lytau. My vod’ika. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. You join our Buir, Traz Tadasco, and our vod, Ekha Tadasco in the Manda. I will bring your beskar’gam home and we will sing of your deeds.” </p><p>Cuan carefully knelt and put his hand on the last stone and whispered something. </p><p>H’lava stood behind Teryn and quietly murmured, “Do you remember it?”</p><p>“I remember them all.”  </p><p>“Motir ca'tra nau tracinya. Gra'tua cuun hett su dralshy'a. Cuun hett su…”</p><p>
  <em> Those who stand before us light the night sky in flame. Our vengeance burns brighter still. Burns brighter still… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the Covert went back underground, but Teryn remained out, looking up at the stars. </p><p>Why the struggle, why the strain?<br/>Why make trouble? Why make scenes?<br/>Why go against the grain?<br/>Why swim upstream?</p><p>It ain't- It ain't- It ain't no use<br/>You're bound- You're bound- You're bound to lose<br/>What's done- What's done- What's done is done<br/>That's the way the river runs</p><p>So why get wet? Why break a sweat?<br/>Why waste your precious breath?<br/>Why beat your handsome brow? Nothing changes<br/>Nothing changes<br/>Nothing changes anyhow</p><p>Cuan joined her. “Not one of ours. Pretty, though.”</p><p>“Picked it up somewhere. Feels… appropriate.” She turned and looked at him. “Doing okay?”</p><p>“Ankle’s much better. Not used to underground so much.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“We’re not… we’re hidden, but above ground.”</p><p>“How many?”</p><p>“Including the kids, about a hundred.” He turned. “Do you mind… if I take this off? I know it’s not how you do things, but…”</p><p>“It’s your soul. You wanna risk it taking it off in front of a dar’manda, that’s on you.” </p><p>He pulled off his helmet and ran his fingers through his hair. “Gonna have to get this cut soon.” </p><p>“A hundred people? That’s huge.” </p><p>“What happened here?”</p><p>She looked at him, narrowing her eyes, thinking. “Navarro. They were on Navarro, before.” </p><p>“...oh. I am so sorry.”  He thought about it. “How many were there… before?” He kicked himself as soon as he heard himself ask it. </p><p>“I’m not sure. It had been a while.” She said, ruefully. </p><p>He looked over at her, eyes kind. “You’re not. Dar’manda. At least, we wouldn’t say so.”  </p><p>She shrugged. </p><p>“We wouldn’t. Not from that. It’s bullshit for that to have happened to you.”  He reached out to touch her on the shoulder and she flinched back, looking at him with a mixture of shock and affront and confusion. “What?”</p><p>“No Mando’ade has said that. None of them.” </p><p>“Not even your ori’vod?” She shook her head. “I’m sorry about that, too.”  </p><p>She tilted her head at him, considering. Then, “Teryn.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“My name.” </p><p>“Oh. Thank you.” He smiled. “I won’t abuse it.”  She gave a ghost of a smile back.  </p><p> </p><p>At the false dawn they went back down. Din was waiting at the entrance. “Are you ready?”</p><p>“Probably should have trained with armor on.” She shrugged. “Too late now.” </p><p>He sighed.</p><p>“Is the Kid awake? I want to….” <em> Maybe say goodbye. </em></p><p>Din nodded and led her to his room, where they could hear the Kid quietly babbling to himself. He opened the door and the Kid smiled at seeing her. He held out his new frog toy and babbled. “I’ll give you a couple minutes.” Din said, and shut the door. </p><p>Teryn sat down on the bed, and the Kid climbed up to her lap, and trilled quietly. “Hi, buddy.” </p><p>He touched her face again, and she smiled. “You’re gonna need to help him, okay? Help him. And I know you helped me before, with the shock baton. I <em> know </em> you did. You can’t do that this time. <em> You may not. </em> This is on me. Okay?”</p><p>The Kid scowled, then nodded.  </p><p>“Okay.”  </p><p>The Kid reached through the opening of the cloak and touched her cuirass. “Yeah, it’s different this time. But the most important thing is that you and your Buir are okay, alright?” She touched her forehead to his. “He’s going to need you.” </p><p>“Gar kar’taylir darasuum, cyar’ika.” </p><p> </p><p>The Armorer had decided that she didn’t want more bloodstains in her common room. The challenge would take place outside, in the courtyard of a ruined building. At the entrance, Din stopped her. “Vod’ika. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“For what?”</p><p>“...everything. I was supposed to protect you. That was my duty, and I failed.” He sighed. “If I’d…  none of this would have happened.”  </p><p>“We’re not kids, anymore, ori’vod. It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t mine. It was his.” </p><p>“But…”</p><p>“No. Stop. I only have two things I need from you right now. One: you take care of him. Don’t do anything stupid, because he needs you. Whatever is coming, <em> he needs you </em>. Okay?”</p><p>“The second?”</p><p>“You disintegrate his ass.”</p><p>“Won’t need to.” Din was firm. </p><p>“But you will do it.” So was she.</p><p>He nodded. They touched foreheads and he squeezed her arms. “<em> Wreck </em> him, vod’ika.”  </p><p>The adult members of the covert were ranged around the edges of the courtyard, along with a few of the older Foundlings. Rokr stood on the far end, with no one near him. </p><p> The Armorer stood in the middle, and indicated Teryn and Rokr should come into the middle. Teryn handed Din her blaster, removed the accelerant from her flamethrower, and shrugged off the cloak. Rokr made a quiet strangled sound at seeing her armor. She approached the center of the courtyard, a look of disdain on her face.  </p><p>“I have explained the rules to you both. No blasters. No flamethrowers. Hand to hand only. Is this clear?”</p><p>“Yes, alor.”</p><p>“Yes.”  </p><p>The Armorer stepped back. </p><p>Teryn kept her weight up and as light as possible, and circled, watching. Paz had been right, he did lead with his head, which meant that a lot of his moves were telegraphed. She’d still have to be careful, and fast. She pulled her shock batons from where they were holstered at her back, and flicked them on. </p><p>He took a step back, considering. She almost lazily threw a shot, towards his head, and he danced to the side. <em> Tempo is off. </em> </p><p>He tilted his head, and reached behind him to wrap the end of his cape around his left arm. <em> Insulation. Smart. </em>She flicked another shot, and he blocked it with the wrapped arm. She stepped back.</p><p>No one breathed. </p><p>She leapt forward and swung both batons- he blocked one with his cape-wrapped arm and dropped to one knee so the second swept over his head, and drew a vibroblade from his boot. It skittered along her battle-skirt and she spun away. He blocked a backhand blow, and smashed a fist down on her arm, making her drop one of her batons. </p><p>She snapped the other at his head, and he slid into the blow, grabbing the baton where she gripped it and threw an elbow at her face. She moved her head at the very last second, and his elbow brushed past her ear. She twisted her hand out of his grip, and threw her own elbow, hooking one foot around his ankle. </p><p>He stumbled backwards, slashing wildly with his vibroblade. It glanced off one of her vambraces and he lost his grip on it. She snatched it up, and dropped into a crouch. He charged, and she danced out of the way, slashing at his arm beneath his pauldron. The blade bit, and he roared. </p><p>
  <em> Shit, he’s faster than he looks.  </em>
</p><p>Before he could make another charge, she went in, slashing with one hand, and blocking with the other. He met her, blow for blow, in a dizzying exchange that ended with him landing a massive blow to her midsection. She staggered back, felt a burning line along her lower back and saw that he had another vibroblade in his hand, that had blood dripping from it. </p><p>
  <em> Fuck. </em>
</p><p>She went after him again, with a slight edge of desperation. She slammed her knee up between his legs, but he was able to block that, and hit two more punches into her side. They broke apart, and before she could reset, he charged forward and knocked her to the ground, cracking the back of her head against the ground. <em> Like a fucking tank </em>. He straddled her hips, and reared back to gloat, raising a fist.</p><p>“I’ve got you now, you fucking-” she arched her back and used her hips to shove his body forward, and used a rock on the ground to smash into his helmet. The force and the sound of blow disoriented him just enough that she was able to shove him off and scrabble back to her feet. She tried to kick him with her heel in the shoulder, but he caught her foot and wrenched it, and she fell heavily onto her shoulder. </p><p>She groaned, disoriented, and heard him slowly stand up. <em> You have to get up. </em> She got her knees underneath her, when his hand reached down and grabbed her by the neck and hauled her up.</p><p>He had his hands around her throat, and black spots appeared at the edges of her vision as he squeezed, and squeezed hard, lifting her feet off the floor. She scrabbled at his hands with her left hand, and managed to lift her right leg high enough to reach the blade in her boot with the other. </p><p>She stabbed the blade deep into his unarmored armpit, and he howled and let go. She dropped to the ground, wheezing, and as he leaned forward to grab for her hair, she slashed the blade again at the back of his knee. He fell heavily as his leg collapsed, and she hauled herself to her feet and grabbed him by the cowl.  </p><p>She stared down at him, and almost casually pulled off his helmet. </p><p>There was a gasp from somewhere behind her. She stared down into his bloodshot eyes, as he whimpered. “It’s tempting to let you live, turdfucker. To see how it is.”  </p><p>“Please…. Please…. Ge’detye…”</p><p>She shook him roughly by the cowl. “Tempting.” She dropped him, still holding his helmet in one hand. </p><p>“Vor entye…. Vor….” </p><p>She held the helmet up and looked it in the visor, then back down at him. Then she swung it back, and using her entire body as leverage, smashed it into the side of his head. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Mando funeral chant from: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comments/an83oe/mandalorian_funeral_chant/</p><p>Nothing Changes from (what else?) Hadestown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-Qyru8QAxQ</p><p>There is a Game of Thrones easter egg, I hope someone saw it. </p><p>Vor entye: Thank you ("I accept a debt.")<br/>Ge’detye: Please<br/>Gar kar’taylir darasuum: I love you<br/>cyar’ika: darling, sweetheart<br/>Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr,advc, ni partayli, gar darsuum: Daily remembrance of those passed on *I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal.* Followed by repetition of loved ones' names.<br/>beskar'gam: armor<br/>Kar’ta Beskar: The Iron Heart diamond seen in Mando armor. (https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Iron_Heart)<br/>Kai’tome: Food<br/>Ad: kid.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. You have suffered enough and warred with yourself</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Afterboom.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The force of the blow from the helmet didn’t kill him instantly. It took minutes.</p><p>She stood, swaying, until his death rattle, and then sank to her knees. She started pulling at the cowl around her neck, when the blackness at the edges of her vision expanded and she fell over.  </p><p>There were just glimpses after that. Din yelling for a stretcher, then picking her up. The med bay. Tabor scrambling and pulling off her armor. A high pitched screaming. She reached up and pulled at the torn cowl again, and Din made a muffled oath and carefully cut it off. </p><p>The swelling from the strangulation was already significant, and Tabor’s hands stilled. <em>You know this one, kid, </em>she thought. He carefully placed a cold pack across her throat, and she nodded slightly. </p><p>Everything hurt. Everything. The back of her head, hips, back. Hands, arms. Shoulders. It was hard to tell what was actually injured and what just <em> hurt. </em> There was a feeling of an injection, and as the drugs took effect, she drowsily thought that it really wasn’t her problem, was it? </p><p>She dreamed.  </p><p>The dreams about seeing the world through her helmet had faded, but it came back in full force. That last fight, and suddenly not having it. Watching Rokr’s back disappear, and hearing the stormtroopers come up.</p><p>
  <em> “Fucking seriously? It was only eight to one.” She’d said that to Andrys when she finally told the story. </em>
</p><p>That had been true, to a point. </p><p>But it was the one you didn’t see that you had to worry about. She hadn’t seen the ninth. She’d killed the squad, and covered the body of her murdered comrade, and then was seized from behind and taken… somewhere.  </p><p>All the dreams would let her remember was questions and pain and hands on her face. Questions she was certain she didn't answer. “Where are the Mandalorians now. We just want to find them.” Pain, and burning. </p><p>
  <em> Andrys saw those scars once. She never let him see them again.  </em>
</p><p>There had been other hands taking her away, and bandages on her back. They’d grabbed her armor as well- they had told her later that she refused to leave without it. A Rebel ship, there to rescue one of their comrades, and they’d rescued her, too.  </p><p>She left them to get to Navarro, to go <em> home. </em></p><p> </p><p>Tabor had been very calm and competent, thought Din. He’d done well. She was bandaged and resting. Rokr’s body had been stripped and thrown into a ravine. The Armorer had come in to see how she was, and Cuan had as well. H’lava had sat with her for a little while so he could see to the Kid. He’d kept the Kid away, though one of the other Foundlings had snuck in. He had to assume reports were being brought back. </p><p>She started to twitch and whimper. </p><p>“Vod’ika?” </p><p>“Nayc, nayc.” Her voice was raspy.  </p><p>He gently tried to shake her arm. “Wake up. You’re having a nightmare.” </p><p>“Gev, gev.” She started to thrash. “Gedet’ye. I don’t…  Gev. <em> Gev! </em> ” <em> Stop, stop. Please. Stop!  </em></p><p>“Vod’ika, k’uur. It’s okay.” He smoothed the hair out of her face, and at his touch she flung herself away from him. </p><p>“<em>Nayc! </em>” </p><p>She came to, crouched in the corner, completely across the room, eyes wide and staring, breathing sharp and tight. Din stood where he had been, next to the bed, with his hands out. “It’s okay. You’re safe.” </p><p>She stared at him for a long minute, then another, then looked around. She looked, Din thought, like she wasn’t really seeing anything. </p><p>“Vod’ika?” He kept his voice soft and gentle. </p><p>“...vaii…?” <em> Where? </em></p><p>“Jelucan.”  He took a step forward and she cringed away. He stopped. “It’s okay. It’s safe.”  </p><p>She blinked and focused on him again. “Ori’vod?” </p><p>“Elek.” He took another step forward, and she tensed, but didn’t cringe. He took that as a good sign and took another cautious step. “We’re in the covert. You did it. You killed him.” </p><p>She looked around warily again. “Kaysh kyrayc?” <em> He’s dead? </em></p><p>He knelt down in front of her. “Yes. You killed him.” He held out a hand. She took a deep, shuddering breath, and slowly reached for it. “It’s okay.” </p><p>The door opened and she cringed, and Tabor came in. “Oh, shit!” He bustled over to help her back into the bed, and she cringed back further. </p><p>“OUT.” </p><p>“But….”</p><p>“Get out.” Din turned back to Teryn. “Gar morut’yc.” <em> You’re safe. </em></p><p>She stared at him, eyes flicking around the room, but she relaxed slightly. </p><p>“Vod’ika, you’ll feel better if you get some more sleep. Okay?”</p><p>She nodded, and slowly started to inch her way to her feet. </p><p>“Do you want help?”  </p><p>She shook her head, and made her way back to the bed, and collapsed into it, curled into a ball. Din frowned to himself. Something wasn’t right, even more than it had been before. He covered her with a blanket again and stepped out. H’lava and Tabor were loitering nearby. </p><p>“Can you sit with her? I think she’s sleeping again,” he said to H’lava. She nodded. He looked at Tabor. “I don’t know what that was, but something is wrong.”</p><p>“Do you think it has anything to do with the burn scars?”</p><p>“The… what?”</p><p>“On her back? There’s a series of burn scars. I saw them when we were getting her armor off and putting the bacta on the slash. They’re old, but… she flinched when I touched them, and that was after she was sedated.”  </p><p>“Fuck.”  Din breathed.</p><p>“You didn’t know about them?”</p><p>“No.” Din sighed. “No, she didn’t tell me.” </p><p>“If she didn’t tell you… I mean, I haven’t known her long, but… if she didn’t tell you, I would guess she’s never told anyone.”  </p><p>
  <em> Vod’ika, what happened to you? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The next time she woke, it was much gentler. The Kid had been by- as a sign of how worried he was, she found both his stuffed mythosaur <em> and </em> his brand new frog. </p><p>“Hey.” A hand covered hers and squeezed gently. She looked over, and was mildly surprised to see Cuan sitting next to the bed. He tilted his helmet in a way that she’d learned was a smile. “I’ll go get your ori’vod.” </p><p>“Wait.” Her voice came out as a harsh whisper, and her hand went to her throat as she frowned. She struggled to sit up and he sighed, a more amused sigh than an exasperated one, and helped her. </p><p>“Let me go get… an adult.” She raised an eyebrow at him. He chuckled ruefully. “Not in this case I’m not.”  </p><p>He left and she carefully felt her throat. She didn’t hurt that much- not as much as she would have expected, but her throat and neck didn’t feel right. </p><p>She could tell that something was off as soon as Din walked in- he was approaching just slightly too carefully. She frowned at him. “What-” Her voice still wasn’t there. Tabor followed him, more obviously hesitant. </p><p>“How are you feeling?” </p><p>She narrowed her eyes. That tone was the same one she used when she was pretty sure the answer was “like shit” and the patient was particularly fragile.  “What’s wron-” She stopped, frustrated. Talking hurt. </p><p>“Yeah, there’s some swelling in your throat.” Tabor hesitantly handed her a datapad. “This scan is from right after.” She frowned at it. “How- fuck.” She flipped the datapad to a notes function. "<em>How long has it been?" </em></p><p>“You’ve been in and out of consciousness for two days.” Tabor said. “Getting the nose spray into you was… an adventure?”</p><p>That would partially explain why she didn’t feel as beat to shit as was to be expected. "<em>When was the last scan you took?"  </em></p><p>“I haven’t taken one since. You were breathing okay, and I was…” He paused, and glanced at Din. </p><p>Teryn raised an eyebrow. She didn’t need to type this question. <em> You were what? </em></p><p>“We were afraid to touch you. Whenever I had to, did you kinda freaked out.” Din nodded in agreement. “You don’t remember?”  </p><p>She shook her head, and put it aside for the moment. "<em> Scan. Now." </em></p><p>Comparing the two scans of her own throat was a weird experience. The swelling was definitely less, but it still wasn’t good. And knowing what she did about strangulation injuries… She sighed and put down the pad.  </p><p>“Well?”</p><p>She narrowed her eyes at Din. He could have asked nicer. "<em>Voice could come back in a couple of days, or a couple of weeks. Wait and see</em><em>." </em> She chewed on her lip, thinking. There were a few things she could  try, but…vocal rest for a while at least. She shrugged. "<em>I’m sure you don’t mind me shutting up for a while." </em>Din didn't think that was funny.</p><p>She didn’t tell them that there was also a chance the damage was permanent. </p><p>They offered to bring her food, saying things like “you should rest” and “don’t strain yourself” but she desperately needed to get out of the med bay. Out in the common room, several people were gathered, but the one she was happiest to see was the Kid, who came running at her with a look of profound relief on his little face. She scooped him up- not as fast as normal, and he tried to snuggle under her chin and reached up to touch her face, as he normally did. </p><p>She flinched, visibly flinched away, and it took every bit of her self-control to keep hold of him. The Kid’s ears drooped and he pulled his hand away, confused. <em> This is normally okay, ba’vodu. </em>She put him on her hip, and let him hold her fingers, not looking up at anyone. Din frowned to himself, and he wasn’t the only one who noticed.  He saw H’lava exchange a look with Tabor, and Cuan cocked his head as well. </p><p>With a stroke of an ear, she handed the Kid to Din, and headed for the kitchen. If nothing else, there should be behot. Maybe soup? Soup would feel good on her abused throat. Paz was in there, and she paused, warily. He nodded at her, and stepped aside to give her space to get food. </p><p>
  <em> He knows. </em>
</p><p>The thought barreled into her mind. She focused on the motions necessary to get a drink, to get soup, but the whole time her mind just echoed, <em> he knows. They know. Everyone knows.  </em></p><p>
  <em> Your ori’vod knows. </em>
</p><p>She paused at the door, taking stock. Everyone was standing and looking at her. She lifted her chin, and stepped into the common room, and they all stood, even the littlest Foundlings. It was a sign of respect, of solidarity. In its way, an apology. An apology that changed nothing, but an apology of sorts nonetheless. </p><p>She knew the motions- she nodded back, and fought the urge to bolt back to her room as fast as she could. To be fair, that wasn’t very fast. But she forced herself to walk calmly, and tried to focus on how long it would take to untangle the mass of hair from the braid, how good it would feel to get in the ‘fresher and not on the one thought that wouldn’t go away.</p><p>
  <em> They know. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The next few days passed quietly. She drank hot liquids and let things heal. She played with Atin, and the Kid, who didn’t attempt to touch her face again, and didn’t ask her to sing. None of the Foundlings did. Everyone gave her a wide berth, which was simultaneously a relief and annoying. She would watch others train, occasionally typing out notes. If she just happened to watch training more often when Cuan was there, that was surely a coincidence. </p><p>Surely. </p><p>He was recovering from a broken ankle. It was just… good medical practice to make sure that he was healing okay. By watching him work out. </p><p>Eventually she found out precisely how much of their precious bacta Tabor had used, and he found himself thanking all the stars that it was while she still had no voice.</p><p>
  <em> "YOU USED HOW MUCH." </em>
</p><p>“I’m sorry! But I realized that if I’d saved it and something happened and you weren’t around then we’d be way worse off than if I used a lot but we still had you.” Tabor straightened his shoulders. “I made a decision, and I stand by it.” </p><p>She couldn’t argue with that. </p><p>Din waited for a few days before trying to broach the subject of her back, and the episode when she practically teleported herself across the room. He told himself that it was to give her time and space to recover, but the truth was, he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. At the same time, he felt like he needed to.  </p><p>“Vod’ika?” He knocked on her door. Normally, he didn’t invite himself into the sanctuary of her room- private space was private. But he didn’t want them to be interrupted. She looked at him warily. </p><p>On the datapad she typed, "<em> Will you stop that." </em></p><p>“Stop what?”</p><p>
  <em> "Looking at me like you’re afraid I’m going to shatter into a thousand pieces." </em>
</p><p>“I didn’t think I was.” </p><p>She rolled her eyes at him. "<em>You are. Stop it. I’m fine." </em></p><p>“You aren’t.” </p><p><em>"He’s dead. I’m not. Everything is fine."</em> Perhaps if she’d been behind a helmet, this could have been believable. But he could see the shadows in her eyes, and the tension she was holding in her jaw. Everything was not fine. </p><p>He sighed. He felt like he’d been a failure as an ori’vod, no matter how much she tried to absolve him. And that fact that she was trying to hide the truth from him made it worse. He tried a change of subject. “He stayed with you a lot of the time.”</p><p>She wrinkled her forehead, cocking her head in a question.</p><p>“The visitor.” </p><p>
  <em> Oh. </em>
</p><p>“Do you know what you’re doing?”</p><p>
  <em> "What am I doing?" </em>
</p><p>“Just… be careful. You’re not the most emotionally stable person right now.” </p><p>She scowled. "<em>And you’re such a great judge of that." </em></p><p>“I’m just…”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. "<em>Worried. Like always. I AM FINE." </em></p><p>“No, you’re not! There’s <em> burn scars </em> on your back! Where did they come from? What the fuck happened?” Din stood up and paced. “You didn’t completely lose your entire shit before, when we had to <em> burn </em> you closed. Why won’t you tell anyone what happened? Why won’t you tell <em> me </em>?”  </p><p>She glared at him, then at the door. “Stop yelling!”  They both froze. Her voice was creaky, but it was there. She allowed herself a small sigh of relief. That was something, at least. “They’re going to <em> hear. </em>” </p><p>“If you think <em> anyone </em> doesn’t know…” he muttered.</p><p>“Turdfucking gossips….”  She sighed, irritated. “Get out.” He looked at her, head cocked in an “excuse me” angle. “Wipe that look off your face and get out.”  He didn’t move, and she got into his face. “You don’t get to know everything. You just don’t. Don’t fucking push me, <em> Din Djarin </em>.” </p><p>At the use of his name, his head jerked back, like she’d slapped his bare face. He turned on his heel, and left. </p><p>Din stalked back through the Covert, and everyone avoided his path. No one had been sure what would happen after Rokr’s death, but this entire situation hadn’t really been on the betting sheet. He went into the training room, hoping for a good fight, but the only one there was Cuan.</p><p>Even he knew that sparring with this guy was a bad idea, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to leave without saying <em> something</em>. He glowered.</p><p>Cuan cocked his head. “What?”</p><p>“She is <em> fragile </em> right now.” </p><p>“....yeah?” </p><p>“Just be careful.” Din stalked out of the training room, and up to the Razor Crest. If he threw things around in there for a while, no one would know. </p><p> </p><p>She kicked the door after it closed. Asshole. </p><p>The next knock on her door, sometime later, was, naturally, Cuan, who brought food. “Heard your voice came back.” His voice sounded amused.</p><p>“Very funny.” </p><p>“I am hilarious, it is true.” </p><p>She rolled her eyes. “Why are you still here?” </p><p>“You really are appallingly rude.” </p><p>“I feel like we’ve covered this.”</p><p>He put the food down and put his hands on his helmet. “Can I?” She shrugged. <em> It’s still your ass. </em>He pulled it off. “I’m still here because.. Well, apparently the Talon is fucking mess, and they’re working on it. And your ori’vod wouldn’t leave until you were…” He cocked his head to the side. “And I didn’t push it.” </p><p>She nodded, and picked at the food. “So…. does that mean you’ll be leaving… soon?”</p><p>“I’m not sure.” He also picked off the plate. “Your chief wants to know if mine will speak with her. I get the feeling yours is starting to feel… antsy.”  She nodded. “How are you sleeping?”</p><p>She shrugged. The answer was not great, truth be told. </p><p>“Dreams?”  </p><p>“Nightmares," she admitted.</p><p>“About what happened to your back?”</p><p>She looked down at her feet and nodded. He reached out to touch her chin, intending to lift up her face, and she reared back. He held his hands up, and backed up a step. “N’eparavu takisit.” </p><p>“I don’t…. Please don’t.” </p><p>“I won’t.” He stayed where he was. “Will you show me?” Cuan’s voice was gentle. </p><p>Teryn eyed him warily, then slumped slightly. “I should show somebody.”  She turned her back to him, and after a deep breath, pulled the back of her shirt over her head, holding it in front.</p><p>He took a breath, “Oh, cyar’ika.” He very carefully moved her hair over one shoulder. “Oh.” There were five lines, diagonally across her entire back. They were perfectly straight, and made so meticulously that it had to have taken time. A lot of time.  “What…”</p><p>“Imps.” She bowed her head. “I think it was a soldering iron.” </p><p>He made a growl and very softly laid his hands on the back of her shoulders, avoiding touching the scars. </p><p>“Right… after. There was a squadron of stormtroopers, and I killed them, but… there were more behind them. And they knew….. What I was. So they took me and… I still don’t remember a lot. There was someone else there- a Rebel spy. I know they would hold my face, stroke it while....” She trailed off. </p><p>“That’s why you don’t like your face being touched.”  </p><p>She shuddered. “There was a rescue- they were coming for the Rebel, but they took me, too. And I hadn’t been there long- my armor was still- they told me I wouldn’t leave without it.”</p><p>He very slowly moved closer and leaned his forehead on the back of her head. “Then what happened?”</p><p>“They took care of me. The Imps had the Rebel for a lot longer- I was able to help him. One of them recognized the armor, before I could hide it, but they saw that I knew what I was doing- they needed doctors, it didn’t matter.” She sighed as he stroked her shoulders- lightly, as if too firm a touch would scare her off. “I made my way back to Navarro. I tried to go home, but…”</p><p>“But they wouldn't let you.”</p><p>“They wouldn't let me.”  </p><p>“And that’s how you ended up with the Alliance?”</p><p>She nodded. “There were only a few people who knew… what I was, but they all died before Yavin. At Scarriff. So no one knew, and no one asked questions.” </p><p>“And you were alone with all of it.”  He sounded so sad. </p><p>“I mostly blocked it all. I can’t… see my back. But….”</p><p>“Seeing him, killing him, brought it back.” He nodded. “I understand.” </p><p>She nodded, and he moved to the side, and took one of her hands in his, then with the other hand, very gently, very slowly traced down her back, not following the scars, but the contours of the muscles, the curves and planes. She froze at his touch, but didn’t flinch, and ever so slightly relaxed, and then relaxed more as he used his hand to define and describe <em> her </em>, and not merely what had happened to her.</p><p>“You outlived them all, cyar’ika. You won.”  </p><p>She leaned against him. “I never thought about it like that.”  </p><p> </p><p>She dreamed. </p><p>Pain and hands. </p><p>Questions. </p><p>She began to twitch and whimper.  But this time, an arm tightened around her waist, and a voice, deep and rough around the edges, murmured into her hair, “K’uur, cyar’ika. Gar morut’yc. It’s just a dream.” </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I couldn't sleep last night, so I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.  </p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p><p>Mando'a translations: </p><p>Nayc: No<br/>k’uur: Hush<br/>Elek: Yes<br/>behot: herb used in beverages, mildly antiseptic and stimulating<br/>N’eparavu takisit: sorry (lit: I eat my insult)<br/>cyar’ika: darling, sweetheart<br/>Gar morut’yc: You're safe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. And I will stumble and fall</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The universe was in one of those moments of balance again- everything was right with the galaxy, and she took a deep breath and let herself enjoy it.  </p><p>Chaos is coming, girl. Recharge yourself for it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a weird sensation to wake up with another person. It was an even weirder sensation to wake up feeling well-rested, and not like she’d spent the whole night fighting ghosts. </p><p>Cuan was still asleep- it was appallingly early, and she quietly left her room, carrying her boots and her cloak. No one else was up, no idiot ori’vod or anyone else, so there was no one to see the very slightly doofy smile on her face. It was silly- they’d just <em> slept</em>. But it was easily her best night’s sleep since they got to Jelucan, and possibly the best night’s sleep she’d had since she got the message to evacuate.  </p><p>Yes, it was just <em> silly</em>. </p><p>But it was also really, really nice.</p><p>She put on her boots and cloak and quietly made her way up to the ruins with a mug of caff. It was nearly dawn, and she could watch the sunrise and exist for a bit.  She settled on an outcropping as high as she could climb with one hand full of mug.</p><p>The universe was in one of those moments of balance again- everything was right with the galaxy, and she took a deep breath and let herself enjoy it.  </p><p>
  <em> Chaos is coming, girl. Recharge yourself for it. </em>
</p><p>She cautiously hummed to herself. That went okay. She sang a scale. Rough, out of practice, needed a warm up, but also okay.  </p><p>“Cold blows the wind to my true love,<br/>And gently drops the rain.<br/>I've never had but one true love,<br/>And in green-wood he lies slain.”</p><p>She sagged in relief.  He hadn’t taken that, too.  </p><p> </p><p>Once the sun was completely up, she climbed back down. Other people were up, including Din. She pointedly ignored him, and after a glare and a sigh, he pointedly ignored her, The Kid looked concerned at both of them, and then shook his head in exasperation. He knew that they loved each other fiercely, but they were as stubborn and hard headed as mudhorns, especially when emotions were involved. </p><p>They’d come around, the Kid knew. They always did.  </p><p>“Vaar’tur.” Cuan brought over a mug of caff. “How did you sleep?” She could hear the smile in his voice. </p><p>She tried really hard to control the doofy smile. “Better.”  From his amused quiet chuckle, she could tell she hadn’t really been successful. She took the mug. “Thank you.” She wasn’t just thanking him for the caff, and he knew it.  </p><p>She went into the med bay to see how things were going there. She was not particularly surprised when H’lava followed her in. “What was <em> that</em>?” </p><p>Fucking gossips, every single one. </p><p>“What.” Like she didn’t know what H’lava was demanding.</p><p>“Uh. That. The visitor. He was seen coming out of your room this morning. The caff. You are <em> smiling. </em>” </p><p>Teryn sighed. </p><p>“So?”</p><p>“He’s…” Teryn shrugged. </p><p>“Girl.” H’lava let out a deep breath. “You should <em> get that</em>.” </p><p>Teryn rolled her eyes. “You’re not interested?”</p><p>“Oh please. That man has only seen <em> you </em> since he got here. He sat with you like, all the time after you smashed that coward’s head in. I thought your ori’vod was going to explode.”</p><p>“Oh, I bet that was fun to watch.” Teryn rolled her eyes. H’lava nodded vigorously. </p><p>“It really was." H'lava snickered. "On another subject. Wear your fucking armor, for fuck’s sake.” Teryn took a breath and H’lava groaned. “Oh knock it off. She said it was yours and no one could take it from you. So stop moping and just fucking wear it, would you?”</p><p>“It’s not…. It’s <em> hard.</em>”</p><p>“So is everything. But it’s <em> yours. </em>Own that shit.” </p><p> </p><p>So she did. She went back to her room and put it on, and even though it was still hard to wear it without the helmet, even though it still didn’t feel right, it felt less wrong. The minor damage from the fight had been repaired. </p><p>She dithered a bit before opening the door. <em> Girl, this is your fucking family. They’re a bunch of disasters, and it’s a complicated mess, but fuck it. You are not afraid of this. </em> She drew her shoulders back, lifted her chin, and stepped out. </p><p>There was a pause, as everyone looked up, then they all, as one, looked at the Armorer. The Armorer nodded at her, and turned back to the Forge. Everyone looked back at her, then went back to what they were doing. </p><p>Except Cuan, who stood up, and sauntered to the training room. She very, very casually went to grab something to eat, and then, super casually, wandered towards the training room. </p><p>Din scowled to himself. The Kid looked at him and frowned. His ba’vodu was much happier, or at the very least, a lot less sad. Didn’t his buir see that? </p><p>In the training room, Cuan was impatiently waiting, tossing some practice knives in each hand. He held one out as she came in. “Spar?” She grinned, and pulled her real blades out of her boots, and put them and her blaster off to the side.  </p><p>“Give me a word if you need to tap out.” </p><p>“Like….?”</p><p>“If it’s too much, if you need to stop, we need something for you to let me know that I need to back off.” </p><p>She thought for a second. “Atin.”</p><p>“Stubborn?” He chuckled. “Appropriate.”</p><p>“I was going for tenacious, but also, it’s my loth cat’s name. He was a runt.” </p><p>He shook his head slightly, amused. “Atin it is. Start slow? You’ve had… a time of it, and I’m out of practice.”  She nodded, and they began sparring, slowly at first. Then they slowly began to speed up. They were pretty evenly matched at first, but Cuan had the advantage once they got faster.</p><p>“I can see every thought on your face, cyar’ika. You’re telegraphing.” </p><p>“You’d think after over ten years… what day is it? Ten years and ten months I’d be able to….” She paused, and stepped back, frowning. </p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“I just… I just realized that I’ve been out of the Creed longer than I was… in it.” </p><p><em> Oh. </em> “When did you cross that line?” </p><p>“Yesterday.” She stepped forward again. </p><p>“Should we stop?”  </p><p>“No. Keep going.” She dropped into a crouch, and with a worried grimace, Cuan attacked. Her timing was just slightly off, and his blunted blade poked sharply into her side. She hissed, and he started to back off. She narrowed her eyes and charged. His eyes widened slightly, and he used her momentum to bring her down to the ground, and they rolled, ending with Cuan straddling her hips, hands pinning her wrists to the ground. He froze, remembering that the fight with Rokr had involved this position, and she did too, taking a deep breath.</p><p>They stared at each other, and he moved his hands to interlace their fingers. “What do you want to do, LaarSenaar?” </p><p>Her eyes dilated, and she took another breath. ‘I want….” she squirmed a little, and his hands tightened on hers. “Atin.” she whispered. He let go immediately, and rolled off. She got to her feet. </p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>She nodded. </p><p>“Are you sure?” </p><p>She nodded again. “Thank you. This was, um. Fun.” She collected her weapons and went back to the med bay. He took a deep breath. That could have gone much worse.</p><p>That night, she was about to go to sleep when he knocked. “Can I come in?”</p><p>She frowned in confusion, but opened the door enough for him to come in. He stepped in, and shut the door. She fully expected him to ask to remove his helmet, but instead, he just looked at her, head slightly tilted, and he began to remove his gloves. “I thought… I have a feeling no one has asked you about what you want, lately.” </p><p>“What I… want?”  </p><p>He removed his vambraces, and pushed the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows, baring his forearms. She swallowed. They were <em> good </em> forearms. “It just occurs to me that there’s been a lot of other people making decisions for you. And no one has stopped to ask you what you want.” </p><p>He stepped behind her, so that he wasn’t between her and the door, and ran one hand through her hair, burying in his fingers in it. She closed her eyes. </p><p>“So, mesh’la, tell me. What do you want?”  </p><p> </p><p>A few days later, the Armorer called Din, Ordo, Paz, and Teryn into the Forge.</p><p>Uncharacteristically, she closed the door. Din, Ordo, and Teryn all exchanged glances- <em> Do you know what this is about? </em> </p><p>“There has been increased traffic in the city. I am of a mind for the Covert to move on before they start rebuilding this section.”</p><p>They all nodded. Paz asked, “Do we know where we’re going?”  </p><p>“I am hoping to discuss matters with the Chief of Cuan Tadasco’s covert. We are too small.”</p><p>Din shifted guiltily, and Paz gave him a look. <em> We made our choices. This is the Way. </em> </p><p>“Um.” Teryn paused, thinking if she was spilling a secret. “They’re less…. Strict? Then we are.”</p><p>Paz frowned, she could hear it in his voice. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“They don’t keep their helmets on inside their Covert.” </p><p>“How do you know that?” Din snapped. </p><p>Teryn shot him a glare. <em> None of your fucking business, utreekov. </em></p><p>“I know.” The Armorer said, already tired of this nonsense. “We have discussed this.” </p><p>Paz cocked his head. “And you’re still considering it?”</p><p>“Needs must, Al’verde.” The Armorer sighed to herself, then looked at Ordo. “I am giving you the Talon.”</p><p>“Vor entye, alor.” </p><p>“We will use both ships. Once we have settled, beroya, you may go on your way.” Din nodded. “Begin making preparations. We have time, but not much. Make the most of it.” </p><p>Paz looked at Teryn. “Get the medical supplies packed up, and ready to be split up between the two ships.” She nodded. “The Talon is larger than the Crest. We’ll have to do the same for food and other supplies.”</p><p>They left, and Din followed Teryn to the med bay. “I am not interested in talking to you right now.” </p><p>“What are you <em> doing</em>?” </p><p>“What the al’verde asked me to do. What does it <em> look </em>like?”</p><p>Din exhaled slowly. “You’re being…”</p><p>“A fucking adult. Which I have been for quite some time. Without you dogging my every step. Back off.” </p><p>With another disgusted grumble, Din left to his own preparations, and she threw things around the med bay, working off the frustration. </p><p>She didn’t know what she was doing. Yes, she admitted. Yes, he was attractive. Yes, he was kind. He’d been kind in ways she never expected anyone to be kind. He thought she still had a soul, even if that wasn’t true. </p><p>At least, that’s what he said. </p><p>Was she just being remarkably stupid, and grasping at the possibility of a good thing that wasn’t really on offer? </p><p>
  <em> Haar’shak, Din could be right.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She got into the motions of packing, revelling in the idea of having multiple days to work on it, instead of an hour. There could be sorting. There could be deciding if something really needed to come with them, or could be left behind, and not take up precious space. It was easier to be rational when you were merely leaving, and not evacuating.  </p><p>That didn’t mean it didn’t immediately look like a disaster, though.</p><p>A girl upon the shore did ask a favour of the sea;<br/>"Return my blue eyed sailor boy safely back to me<br/>Forgive me if I ask too much, I will not ask for more<br/>But I shall weep until he sleeps safe upon the shore."</p><p>As though the sea did hear her plea, a vision did appear<br/>The drifting tip of some wrecked ship came floating ever near<br/>A figure there did cling to it, approaching more and more<br/>As if to ride on some strange tide, safe upon the shore</p><p>So give a sailor not your heart<br/>Lest sorrow you do seek;<br/>Let true love not be torn apart<br/>By favours from the sea</p><p>My love, she cried as she espied the figure on the spar<br/>His clean white shirt was drenched and torn, he must have floated far<br/>She thought with bliss how she would kiss the lips she did adore<br/>And oh, how sweet to see his feet safe upon the shore</p><p>As she drew near, she felt the fear that something was astray<br/>His mouth was slack and his blue eyes stared blindly at the day<br/>And in a daze, she turned her gaze from the corpse the driftwood bore<br/>And the cold cold sea pushed ruthlessly, safe upon the shore</p><p>So give a sailor not your heart<br/>Lest sorrow you do seek;<br/>Let true love not be torn apart<br/>By favours from the sea</p><p>Now fishermen, they cast their nets like miners pan for gold<br/>And sailors push off from the docks and pray the gales will hold<br/>The sea just sits silently, but sometimes, she does more<br/>And someone weeps as her love sleeps safe upon the shore</p><p>“That one’s pretty, too.” </p><p>She almost shrieked in surprise and whipped around. Cuan was in the door to the supply room, tilting his head in a grin. </p><p>“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”</p><p>“You didn’t scare me.” She scowled. “You surprised me, and that is very different.”</p><p>“Of course.” He stepped in, and after glancing out, began to shut the door. She shook her head quickly. </p><p>“They’ll talk.” </p><p>“They’re going to talk anyway. Even my Covert isn’t this bad.”</p><p>“They have no one to talk to but each other.” She grimaced. “I’ve been the main topic of conversation for fucking <em> weeks. </em>”</p><p>“That sound exhausting.” He looked at the mess, “This is…”</p><p>She narrowed her eyes. “Choose your next word very, very carefully, Verd.” </p><p>“...an organized disaster?” She raised an eyebrow, and he muttered, “At least, I hope it’s organized.” </p><p>She smacked his arm, and he grabbed her wrist, not hard. He paused, and waited to see what she would do. She tugged lightly, not a flinch, and not a panicked tug, just a light tug, and he let go. She didn’t move to make any more space between them, and he reached to lightly stroke one of her braids. </p><p>“Where did you learn that one? The song you were singing?” </p><p>“From… a friend I made during the war. He was from a coastal city, and they had a lot of songs about the ocean.” </p><p>“A friend?”</p><p>“Mmmhmmm.” She turned to the shelves again. “He’d been a teacher, but his city was destroyed by the Empire for harboring Rebels. Which just… made more Rebels. He joined up as a medic.”</p><p>Cuan made a “I’m listening” sound while he found a box to start filling. </p><p>“He was usually with the units that my medical unit was assigned to, so we saw each other a lot. Then after it was over, he found a job as a teacher on Panoog. It’s a tiny mining planet. And he said they needed doctors, and asked if I’d want to go.” </p><p>“Sounds like a bit more than a friend.” His voice was carefully neutral. </p><p>She made a sound of rueful agreement. “Sometimes we were more than friends, and I’m pretty sure he would have been… happy if we’d always been...more…” She shrugged. “But I wasn’t… I couldn’t tell him everything. He deserved more than… shuk’yc.”  </p><p>
  <em> Not working. No use. Broken down.  </em>
</p><p>“Cyar’ika-”</p><p>She waved a hand, trying to dismiss it. “Anyway, I picked up a lot of songs. I didn’t want to sing ours in front of aruetiise, so I learned others.” </p><p>“LaarSenaar,” he said, softly.</p><p>“Shuk’la Senaar, you mean.”  </p><p>“I said what I said.” </p><p>“So did I.” </p><p>They looked at each other for a long minute, her sideways, not looking at him straight on, before she turned back to the shelves. “So that’s my sad story. What’s yours?”</p><p>“Same as a lot of people. Creedborn. My buir and my ori-vod were killed in the Purge, and Arkil and I spent the next several years hunting Imps.” He bowed his head. “And now we’re hunting Gideon, specifically.” He tilted his head in a question. “Why is your Tribe so interested in Gideon?”</p><p>She held her face as still as possible, and didn’t look at him. “Same reason as all Mando’ade.” </p><p>“Hmmmm.” He let the silence build up.  </p><p>“He was responsible for the destruction of our world. He’s the reason we live like this. What more do we need?”</p><p>“It just feels… more personal, here,” he said, lightly.  She looked at him, warily. “I still think those rumors about a beroya making off with a bounty and Gideon looking for something held by the Mandalorians are related. And some of those rumors say the bounty was a child.”</p><p><em> Fucking gossip-mongers, every single one. </em>Her hands stilled and looked at him full on. “Why are you really here?”  </p><p>“I’m doing this badly.” </p><p>“...I think you should go.” </p><p>“Is the bounty your vod’ad?”</p><p>“Leave this room right now.” </p><p>“Just tell me. He’s a Foundl-”</p><p>Teryn deliberately dropped a jar, and when he flicked his eyes to it, she quickly pulled her vibroblade from her boot and shoved him against the wall. She held the blade up to his throat, but didn’t turn it on. “Never. <em> Ever. </em>Threaten my vod’ad.”</p><p>“I’m not-”</p><p>“Get out.”</p><p>“Cyar-”</p><p>“<em>Don’t call me that.” </em></p><p>He sighed, and held his hands up. She backed up, still holding the knife. With another sigh, he left, and she let her arm drop. </p><p>So. Fucking. Stupid.  </p><p> </p><p>As things got packed and sorted Ordo and Din came by to see what cartons needed to go in which ship, and what they had room for. Teryn explained the piles- must take, would quite like to take, don’t need to take. They sorted them into piles for each ship. </p><p>She mused, “I kind of wish I’d grabbed the microscope when I left Panoog. It didn’t seem like a good thing to waste space on at the time, but… It would be handy to have one.”</p><p>Ordo made a neutral sound, thinking about how to stow things.  </p><p>“I wonder… maybe we could swing by there? See if it’s still there?” </p><p>Ordo glanced at Din, and Din shifted in a way she recognized as <em> guilt</em>. “You haven’t told her yet?”</p><p>“No.” Din took a deep breath, while Teryn narrowed her eyes dangerously. Ordo looked at them both, picked up a carton from the pile, and left the med bay as quickly as possible. No reason to get in the middle of <em>that</em>.</p><p>“What haven’t you told me?” </p><p>“While we were off world, we heard rumors of a mining planet being attacked and looted by an ex-Imp warlord.” </p><p>Teryn nodded slowly. “Panoog.”</p><p>“Yes. We went. To see if they were true.”</p><p>“And?”</p><p>“I’m sorry. The town was… it was just gone. The mines looked like they were operating, but we didn’t take a closer look.”</p><p>Teryn closed her eyes. Some of the nicest people she’d ever met were on that planet- they’d helped her piece together a life. The mayor, who’d brought her Atin. The children- fucking stars the <em> children. </em></p><p>And then there was Andrys, who she’d hated less than everyone else, including herself.</p><p>“You’ve been back for weeks.” Her voice was low, and dangerous.</p><p>“A lot happened, vod’ika, I wasn’t sure if you were able to-”</p><p>“You should have <em> said something.</em>” </p><p>“I-” </p><p>“Leaving was supposed to protect them! That was the whole point!” </p><p>“It wasn’t just them, it was you-” At this point, both of them were yelling.</p><p>“Do you think I gave a fuck about that?” Out in the common room, Paz was starting to wonder if they’d have to be pulled apart. </p><p>“The Kid-”</p><p>“W<em>hy is he so important? Is he wor-” </em> She stopped herself, but they both knew how that sentence ended. <em> Is he worth all of this? </em> Not just Panoog. The Covert, Kuiil, IG, everyone who had died to keep the Kid safe. She loved the Kid. More than reason. She would die for him several times over.  </p><p>But not everyone got to make the choice about it. They just got killed.</p><p>Din’s glare was obvious. </p><p>“Stop treating me like a <em> child</em>. You aren’t helping!”</p><p>“You won’t tell anyone-”</p><p>“That’s not tru-” she stopped, nostrils flaring. “This isn’t about that. This is about <em> you </em> and I don’t <em> need </em> this shit. I didn’t need you when I was by myself for ten. Fucking. Years. I didn’t need you when they tried to torture the location of the covert out of me, I didn’t need you when I didn’t give anything up and was still thrown out like garbage, I didn’t need you to get through the war, and I sure as shit didn’t need you after.” </p><p>“I didn’t fucking need you, either! Not for any of this!” </p><p>“Glad we can agree on <em> something.</em>” She turned on her heel and stalked away. To her room, where she grabbed the fur cloak and the scarf Andrys had given her, because he said it matched her eyes when she got angry. She wrapped it around her head, covering her hair. </p><p>She headed for the entrance, passing Paz. Paz put a hand on her arm, and she turned her glare on him. <em> Try it. Go on. Try it. </em> </p><p>He held out a communicator. “Work it off, but if we need to call you back...” She snatched it from his hand and stalked outside.  </p><p>Fuck these assholes. Fuck Din. Fuck Cuan. Fuck them <em> all</em>. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want to know what happens in that fade to black after Cuan asks Teryn what she wants, I got you. https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832538</p><p>"The Unquiet Grave" traditional but I like the version by Gryphon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69wZpcPtMIo</p><p>"Safe upon the shore" Great Big Sea (Great Big Sea is great, you should listen to them) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=du3ig-7D_CY</p><p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw </p><p>Mando'a translations: </p><p>cyar’ika: darling, sweetheart<br/>Vaar’tur: Morning<br/>ori’vod: Older brother<br/>ba’vodu: Aunt (parent's sibling)<br/>buir: parent<br/>Laar: Song<br/>Senaar: Bird<br/>mesh’la: Beautiful<br/>utreekov: fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)<br/>Al’verde: Commander<br/>Vor entye: Thank you (lit. *I accept a debt*)<br/>Alor: leader, chief, *officer*, constable, boss<br/>beroya: Bounty hunter<br/>Haar’shak: Dammit<br/>Verd: soldier<br/>aruetiise: Outsiders<br/>shuk’yc: not working, no use, useless, broken down, out of order - usually said of machinery<br/>Shuk’la: fragmented, broken, crushed</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. I don't feel right when you've gone away</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He couldn’t fix it, and it was killing him. Just killing him. </p><p>FEELINGS ARE THE WORST.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Din followed Teryn out, and watched as she snatched the communicator from Paz’s hand. He was pissed. Utterly pissed. Pissed at himself, pissed at her, pissed at the Universe, just, pissed. None of this was fair. None of this was good.</p><p>He turned, and the whole Covert was studiously working on literally anything that involved not looking in his direction.</p><p>Except the Kid. The Kid stood in the middle of the common room, next to Atin, one hand curled in the cat’s fur. His eyes were big, and wet, and his ears were down and he was <em> shaking</em>.  </p><p>Din sighed to himself, and went to go pick up the Kid. </p><p>The Kid drew back. Din’s heart just clenched. He tried so hard to not take his temper out on the few people he considered family. He tried so hard. “I’m sorry, ad’ika. You shouldn’t have seen that.”  The Kid looked at him reproachfully. Din leaned down again, and the Kid took off, Atin following him with a backwards dirty look at Din. “Not you, too.” Din’s shoulders dropped, and he went to their room, pulled off his helmet, buried his face in his knees, and let himself cry.  </p><p>He knew he was being an asshole. But he’d had to watch her almost die twice, and both times there hadn’t been anything he could do about it. One of those times had been because of him, because he’d brought a hunter to her door. The other, well, he should have been there from the beginning. He should have been there to keep Rokr from…</p><p><em> You weren’t supposed to be there</em>. The rational part of his brain whispered. <em> It’s not your fault.  </em></p><p>The rational part of his brain could fuck off.  </p><p>He could have tried to go find her, after. He could have asked her, at any point, just what the fuck happened. He could have tried to find a way to <em> help. </em>He could have, should have, maybe even would have done things differently.  </p><p>
  <em> You can’t change the past. </em>
</p><p>Stars fuck it, he was supposed to protect her. That had been his duty for over 30 years, since the day their Buir had brought her home. He’d done a shit job of it, and he was still doing a shit job. He couldn’t stand seeing her in so much pain, pain she tried so hard to not let him know about. He couldn’t fix it, and it was killing him. Just killing him. </p><p> </p><p>Cuan sat in his own room. He had heard all of that. He was pretty sure they’d heard the yelling in Coruscant. He had to admit to himself that she was fucking magnificent in her anger. And stars help anyone who tried to mess with that Kid. Or her idiot brother, for that matter. She would eat them alive and pick her teeth with their bones. </p><p>He’d fucked up. He wasn’t good at delicately getting information from people- that had been Arkil’s skill. The Kid was a Foundling, for fuck’s sake, of course they wouldn’t hurt him. If Gideon wanted that Kid, then Gideon <em> would not get that Kid. </em> It was very simple. He should have just said that. </p><p>But he’d forgotten a few key points. </p><p>One: this Covert was paranoid beyond belief. For good reason. He knew he was extremely lucky (on a few levels) that Din and Ordo had even brought them back. </p><p>Two: His skills at tact were limited, and he just… hadn’t used them in that conversation. “Just tell me” wasn’t going to work in most situations, and it really wasn’t going to work with her. </p><p>Three: Even though he was certain of his feelings (He’d known that girl was perfect when she told him to suck it up and take some fucking pain medication), she was uncertain of herself, she had been deeply hurt and betrayed, and she didn’t trust anyone (except the Kid, and <em> maybe </em> her brother). He couldn’t be overbearing while she was still figuring out what she wanted. </p><p>She had a brother for being overbearing, anyway. The brother was an asshole, but his heart was in the right place. He could see that. He could also see how putting up with it would be exhausting. </p><p>The fact that she hadn’t turned on the vibroblade she’d held to his throat, and that she let him walk away was a good sign that she <em> might </em> be willing to talk once she’d worked off the rage.</p><p>She was <em> fucking </em> magnificent. But man, he’d really fucked up.  </p><p>He rubbed his forehead. Hopefully his songbird would be back soon. Hopefully she would talk to him. He could still fix this. </p><p> </p><p>The Kid sat in a corner in the Forge, and cried. He’d never heard his Buir yell like that. Never. And to be that angry at his beloved ba’vodu- it was far too much. They were supposed to come around and be okay. That’s what was supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to scream at each other. They weren’t supposed to storm off. </p><p>Everything was <em> terrible</em>, and he couldn’t fix it. </p><p>Atin curled up around him, occasionally licking his head, while he sobbed. </p><p>“Ah, Ad’ika,” a soft voice said. He looked up, and the Armorer was looking down at him. “Ad’ika, that was hard, wasn’t it?”  </p><p>He sniffled and wiped his face with his fist. She held out her hands, asking, and after a moment, he held his arms up. She picked him up, and he curled his claws into the fur she had on her shoulders. She went back to organizing her tool chest with one hand, and he sniffled, leaning his head against her shoulder. Atin watched from the corner.  </p><p>“Once, there was a warrior called Tarre Vizsla, who was also a sorcerer…” </p><p>Soothed by her voice, exhausted by emotions, the Kid dozed off.  </p><p> </p><p>Din was trying to get control of himself while finishing packing up his and Kid’s things, there was a knock on the door. He took a deep breath, “Just a minute.”  </p><p>“Buir?” He grimaced at the tentative sound of the Kid’s voice- but the knock had come from much higher up than Kid-height. He put on his helmet and opened the door. He did not expect to see the Armorer there, holding the Kid. </p><p>“Djarin.” </p><p>Din flinched. She sounded <em> disappointed</em>. </p><p>“May I come in.” Sure, it was phrased as a request. But it was not. He gestured her in, and she shut the door. He held his hands out to the Kid, and the Kid gave him a long, level look before glancing at the Armorer. She nodded at him, and he allowed his Buir to take him. </p><p>“You’ve upset your Foundling.”</p><p>Din nodded. “I know…” He sighed, and let it fall out. “I just worry. She’s so fragile.”</p><p>“Do you know how steel is made stronger?” </p><p>This was a non-sequitur. “I...not...really?”</p><p>“The steel must be heated. It must be heated again and again, and each time makes it stronger than before.”  </p><p>“You’re saying…”</p><p>“She has been <em> tempered</em>, Din Djarin. She is not fragile, and she is not weak, and treating her like she is will only make her more angry and you more frustrated.”</p><p>Din looked down at the floor, and the Kid reached for him. “I feel….guilty.”</p><p>“As we all should.” The Armorer admitted, quietly. “The Creed has not done right by her, no matter how tightly she tried to hold to it.”  She sighed to herself. “This is the Way.”</p><p>“This is the Way,” Din echoed automatically. “I didn’t know… she never said, about the torture. She refused…”</p><p>“Your vod’ika is proud, and stubborn, and also knows you quite well.” </p><p>Din’s shoulders sagged. “She knew I would react like this.”</p><p>“I am certain of it.” </p><p>“Did you...know?”</p><p>The Armorer made a quietly amused chuckle. “Do you really think I know everything about my Covert?”</p><p>It really never occurred to Din that she didn’t. “...sometimes.”</p><p>“No. I cannot say what the result would have been, had we known the truth, and the extent of the truth, when she tried to return after the huu’tun’s betrayal. I honestly cannot tell you.” She sighed herself. “We have been imposing on her goodwill for too long. I expect she will want to leave when we have resettled.”  </p><p>Din frowned to himself, thinking of Cuan. “I… don’t know about that.” </p><p>“Talk to her when she returns.” </p><p>“I will.” Din could hear her unspoken <em> And don’t be a utreekov about it.  </em></p><p>The Armorer nodded, and then stroked the Kid’s ear. “There are items to be loaded onto the ships. Finish here quickly, I would like to leave by tomorrow.”  </p><p>“Yes, alor.”  </p><p>She left, and he looked down at the Kid. The Kid solemnly looked at him. “Ni ceta, ad’ika. I’m sorry I upset you. I shouldn’t have yelled like that.” </p><p>The Kid blinked, one ear tentatively going up. “Ba’vodu?”</p><p>“She’ll be back soon,” at least, he hoped so. “I’ll apologize to her, too. It’ll be okay, ad’ika.”  </p><p>The Kid cuddled into Din’s neck. If his Buir said it was going to be okay, then it would be okay. It was very simple. </p><p> </p><p>Din was mildly surprised to see that Cuan was helping load the Razor Crest. (Then he thought, he shouldn’t be surprised. The Armorer absolutely arranged this. She may not know everything, but she knew <em> almost </em> everything.) They eyed each other warily, until Din started pointing where things should go. Cuan quietly began loading.  </p><p>They worked for a while, in extremely awkward silence broken only by Din giving directions, until they had almost everything stowed. </p><p>“So…”</p><p>Din looked at Cuan, trying very hard to not appear threatening. “Yes.”</p><p>“I fucked up.”  </p><p>Din cocked his head.  </p><p>“I’m not… tactful. And I asked your vod’ika about... “ He took a deep a breath. “I asked her if your ad was what Gideon was looking for.”  </p><p>Din’s hands clenched into fists.  “What did she say?”</p><p>“She pulled a knife on me.” </p><p>“Good.” Din smirked to himself. </p><p>“She told me to never threaten him.” </p><p>“That’s a good way to die. Other people have tried. Go look for them.” </p><p>“I wasn’t. But if you’re all coming to my Covert, even temporarily, they deserve to know.” Cuan sighed. “The kid is a Mandalorian Foundling. They’ll protect him, it’s just… better to be prepared.”</p><p>He had a point, Din admitted. “Why didn’t you lead with that?” </p><p>“Because… ner mish solus.” Cuan shook his head. “Arkil was the one with tact.”</p><p>Din snorted. “You’ve seemed pretty <em> tactful </em> in other ways.”</p><p>Cuan shrugged. “That’s just not treating her like she’ll break apart in my hands if I don’t…” He paused. “Well… sometimes….”  </p><p>Din’s fist slammed into his midsection. Cuan grunted, and they both eyed each other. Din stepped back; he'd made his point. Cuan shrugged and nodded. From the standpoint of an older brother, he did kind of deserve that. </p><p>“I know she’s been through a lot. I’m not just....”</p><p>Din’s head cocked to the side as he narrowed his eyes, and squared up. </p><p>“She sang my vod’ika to rest, and then told me to suck it up and take some fucking pain meds. I never had a chance.” </p><p>Din let out a deep sigh. “My vod’ika doesn’t need me to fight her battles for her, no matter how much I want to. But,” he held up one finger. “She says the word, and I will disintegrate your ass. I won’t even ask why.” </p><p>Cuan nodded. That was fair. “I am serious. That Kid is safe. He’s a Foundling. He’s one of us.”  </p><p>Din looked at him. “He’s gone through hell. I will destroy everything from here to the core if anything happens to him. And she’ll be right behind me.” </p><p>Cuan nodded. “So…. she is coming back, right?”</p><p>Din sighed. “Her cat is still here. She wouldn’t leave without him.” </p><p>
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</p><p>Inside, the Armorer watched Din and Cuan come back, clearly more at ease with each other, and nodded to herself. That plan had worked, at least. Putting those two on a ship together without giving them a chance to work through the tension would have been a bad idea. </p><p>She sighed to herself. It seemed like every decision since the Purge had just been trying to choose between different bad ideas. </p><p>She called Din, Paz, and Cuan over to the forge, to help bring the tools, the beskar, and the forge itself onto the ship. The beskar, at least, she’d divided into two, one for each ship. If something happened to one ship, there would still be some for the survivors.</p><p>Survival is pragmatism.  </p><p>They were arguing over the placement of the forge itself into the Talon, when the communicator on Paz’s belt began making a tapping sound, and it took a second before they recognized that it was a message in dadita. </p><p>“Oribru. Viinir.”</p><p>
  <em> Emergency. Run. </em>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Under normal circumstances, the Armorer only uses your name in private when she really needs to emphasize a point.  </p><p>Tarre Vizsla was the first Mandalorian Jedi: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Tarre_Vizsla</p><p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p><p>Mandoa translations: </p><p>utreekov: fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)<br/>Ni ceta: sorry (lit: I kneel) grovelling apology - rare<br/>ad: Child<br/>ner mish solus: "My braincell was lonely."<br/>dadita: code used by Mandalorians, like Morse</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Haul away your anchors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Songbird versus rattlesnake.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fucking men.  </p><p>Mando’a as a language didn’t have gender. As a culture, there was no real difference between the genders, except every once in a while the Armorer might have to craft some maternity armor.  </p><p>Teryn had been out though, out among the auretiise long enough to get a healthy dose of being <em> fed up with men. </em></p><p>She scrambled through the ruins, going randomly. Not particularly concerned about destinations or stealth or anything. If there was a wall in the way, she’d climb it. If there was a doorway, she’d go through it. She found an empty room and just let out a scream, and almost pulled out her blaster to shoot the wall.</p><p>
  <em> That wall looks load-bearing. </em>
</p><p>Bringing down the remains of this building on top of her head wouldn’t be great. </p><p>
  <em> But wouldn’t those fucking di’kuts feel bad about it. </em>
</p><p>She sat down and decided to try being rational for a change. If Cuan was in fact, a danger to the Kid, he could have made a move at many points before that horrible conversation. He could have, she was pretty sure, gotten word to anyone. But the Armorer trusted him enough to let him stay, and she herself had trusted him enough to…</p><p>Well. Enough. </p><p>Several times, truth be told. </p><p>Her instincts said he wasn’t after the Kid. They were the ones that allowed him to leave the medbay instead of taking his head to the Armorer. Her instincts had said many things over the years, and they weren’t always wrong. It was just hard to trust them. </p><p>Hard to trust anything, really. So, perhaps, <em> perhaps</em>, she’d over-reacted on Cuan. That was possible. It was even probable. </p><p>Maybe he’d be willing to talk before they left. She sighed. He probably wouldn’t. He probably realized she was just not worth it. </p><p>As for her shu’shuk vod…  </p><p>She scowled. He was being an absolute ass with the emotional intelligence of a krill. But…</p><p>But. </p><p>She hadn’t been honest. And the fact- oh these goddamn facts- the fact was she’d never told her fucking ori'vod what it was she was truly angry about. Not only had she been abandoned and betrayed by the Tribe and Creed and the Way and all of that, she’d been abandoned by him as well. And it was three years (three years, four months, and seventeen days) before she even saw him again- and he hadn’t tried to seek her out. It was an accident of fate or whatever.</p><p>It felt to her like he’d been content with accepting the version of truth that Rokr presented and hadn’t even thought to question it. He <em> believed </em> she was a coward, until she finally told him the truth, ten years (and two days) later.</p><p>He had believed it. And he never asked. He hadn’t looked back.</p><p>That was the root of it all. His job was to protect her, that’s what they’d been told (Although after the first time she bit someone who had tried to bully her in the pack of Foundlings, Din had tried to tell their Buir she didn’t need <em> that </em> much protecting). And… he hadn’t. Not from Rokr, and not from everything that came after. </p><p><em> He wasn’t supposed to be there, </em> the rational part of her brain whispered. <em> It wasn’t his fault. There wasn’t anything he could do, not really. </em></p><p>She leaned back against the wall, and sighed. They’d probably have to have a conversation about that, too.  </p><p><em> Feelings.</em> Gross.</p><p>Teryn stood up. She wasn’t ready to go back, not quite yet. But she did feel a lot less murderous, and that was something, at least. She exited the building and started wandering through the ruins again, thinking about Panoog. </p><p>There had always been the chance that leaving wasn’t going to save them. Gideon was after the extermination of the Mandalorians and after the Kid- what was a mining planet no one cared about? Especially when it could be <em>useful</em>? The mines were still running because they could be exploited, that was certain. </p><p>She found another room, piled up a small mound of burnable debris, and carefully lit it with her flamethrower. “Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr, advc, ni partayli, gar darsuum.” She recited as many names as she could remember, and felt drained by the end. Drained, but soothed by the ritual. </p><p>However, when she got back, once they figured out where the Covert was going to resettle, she was going to tell Din they really should start thinking about taking the fight to Gideon. This constant running shit wasn’t working, and the list of names to recite was so long. </p><p>She realized as she exited the building she’d been in that she’d gone further than she’d thought- she was pretty close to the part of the city that was still standing. And there was activity. </p><p>A lot of activity. People talking, moving about, speeders, transports. </p><p>It would be wise to go back. It would be smart to go back. But also, recon is a thing. Intelligence gathering is important, and she could find out more than anyone else could. She checked to make sure the cloak was covering the bulk of her armor, pulled the hood up, and carefully picked her way into the occupied part of the city.  </p><p>And occupied was the right word. There were stormtroopers everywhere, once she turned into the main square. And, she swallowed hard, deathtroopers.</p><p>Well. Shit.  </p><p>She kept the side of the street, trying to look inconspicuous, while sweeping the square. She pushed her hood back to get better peripheral vision. At least two full platoons of stormtroopers. Another several squadrons of deathtroopers. The troopers were mostly milling around, but there was an unmistakable air of expectation. They were here for a reason. </p><p>And in the sky, a TIE fighter. Teryn tracked it, frowning. This was real bad. She started to make her way back out of the square when a hand grabbed her arm and yanked her toward an alley. </p><p>She whipped her arm around the hand grabbing her and drew a vibroblade. <em> Quick and quiet, don’t draw attention. </em>She used the momentum to drive them both into the alley, then spun her assailant into a wall, switching on the blade and bringing it to his throat. </p><p>To Andrys’ throat.  </p><p>She stopped herself barely a millimeter from his skin, and just stared. He wasn’t a ghost- she could feel his harsh gasping under her hand, and smell the sudden dankness of fear-sweat. They stared at each other, him with a mixture of joy and fear, and her just in shock.  </p><p>“I found you,” he gasped. “I saw the scarf- I recognized it, I couldn't believe it but… you’re here. You’re with them.” </p><p>“You’re alive,” she replied, still stunned. “What are you doing here?”  </p><p>“I….” he glanced out of the alley, and she pulled the blade away from his neck, and let go of his arm.  “I’ve been… looking for you.”</p><p>“Why? You were supposed to think I was dead.”</p><p>“I could tell you weren’t. You just left, and... you wouldn’t have just left without a good reason.” </p><p>“But why are you <em> here?” </em></p><p>He looked out towards the entrance of the alley again, and his face twisted in… she might have been out of practice reading faces, but she knew body language. It was guilt. And her brain caught up with what he’d said. </p><p>
  <em> You're here. You’re with them. </em>
</p><p>“Oh, no.” She gasped. “No, no, no, no, no.” He looked back at her, guiltier still. “You’re with <em> them</em>.” She nodded to herself, pulling out the communicator. “And they knew we’re here.  They’re preparing to attack.” She started tapping the communicator, hoping beyond hope that they would understand.</p><p>Din would. Din would know exactly what “run” meant.</p><p>“I…” </p><p>“Why. Why the fuck would you work with them? These are the people that destroyed your <em> home </em> . Why?”  It was hard to keep her voice down. <em> Fucking men. </em></p><p>“I had to. There wasn’t… there wasn’t a choice.”</p><p>“You <em> had </em> to.” Her voice was flat and dubious. </p><p>“They came. Two weeks after you left they came. No one knew anything, and everyone assumed you died. I knew you hadn’t, I could tell you’d evacuated.”</p><p>“So you <em> told them?” </em>The communicator made a quick, quiet burst of static- someone had gotten the message. She held down the talk button- partly to keep any message from coming through and giving away their position, and partly so the Covert could hear this.</p><p>“No! Of course not! But they asked… they asked about Mandalorians, and Cody… Cody said there was one that would come to see you sometimes. He was still mad that your brother beat him up. And they said…” Andrys hung his head. “They said if no one told them… if no one told them where to find you, they’d destroy everything and slaughter everyone. I had to. I had to try to protect them, don’t you see?”</p><p>She shook her head, mouth tight in rage. </p><p>“I knew your brother was a bounty hunter. I went to Navarro and…”</p><p>“Fuck me, that was you.” She shook her head. “You broke into Karga’s files.”</p><p>“And I nearly found you on that moon, I saw you.” </p><p>“That was you, too. You yelled my name.” She snarled, raising the knife again. “You nearly got us <em> killed. </em>”</p><p>“I didn’t… I was there because one of those bounties was supposed to be there and…” He hung his head. “I panicked, and I didn’t realize the enforcers were looking for <em> you. </em>”</p><p>“You would have led them right to me! And my brother! And my vod’ad, and they would have killed us all.” </p><p>“No, I was going to warn you!”</p><p>She closed her eyes and quickly counted to ten. “Were you asking around on Navarro?”</p><p>He nodded. “No one would tell me anything…”</p><p>“You think we didn’t already know? Why do you think I left? I left to protect all of you, you utreekov chakaar, and they killed everyone anyway.” </p><p>“<em>What</em>?”</p><p>“They killed everyone on Panoog, anyway. They’re all gone.”  </p><p>Andrys stared at her blankly. “But… he promised.” It had seemed like the only option to him. Gideon had said that if no one had helped him find her, then he would destroy the town, and people had already told Gideon that Andrys was the only one who might be able to do it. So he said he would. </p><p>“He lied.” She took a deep breath. <em> Focus. </em> “How many does he have here?”  She held the hand with the communicator up so it would catch their voices better.</p><p>“Three squadrons, I think?” </p><p>“Do you know how they knew we were here?” </p><p>“He just said we’re going to Jelucan…. He doesn’t tell me things…” Andrys sagged. “Mostly I just had to report back, and I didn’t tell him anything, just that I hadn’t found… I didn’t tell him I got the information on the pucks.” He gripped her wrist, desperate. “I wasn’t going to tell him anything.” </p><p>“Do you know when they’re going to attack?” She twisted her hand out of his grasp, furious. </p><p>“Soon, but….maybe tonight”  </p><p>She nodded, thinking quickly. If she ran, she might be able to get back without being seen, but pulling him along… that could be tricky. Abandoning him felt wrong, but at the same time, he was fucking working with Gideon. And for <em> nothing</em>. </p><p>Eh, fuck it. He could <em> try </em> to keep up. And if he couldn’t, she’d given him a chance. “Go see if there’s anyone out there.”</p><p>As he turned to the entrance to the alley, she yanked off the tie binding the end of one braid, and wrapped it quickly around the communicator so it held down the talk button. “I hope you got all of that.” she muttered quickly, and tucked the communicator down into her cuirass. She tied a knot in the end of the braid so it would stay, then quickly did the same in the other one, so they would match. </p><p>He signaled from the entrance. “Clear.” </p><p>He skulked out, looking incredibly guilty and she sighed. “Look less conspicuous, you shabiir.”  </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“<em>Fuck up</em>.”  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Run. </em>
</p><p>Din’s stomach dropped, and Paz ordered sharply. “Get this shit on the ship. Now!” He ran back into the Covert, holding the communicator, and as soon as there was a pause in the message- she repeated it several times- he sent a quick burst back. If Teryn was using dadita, that meant that she wasn’t in a place where it was safe to talk. </p><p>Fuck, fuck, fuck.  </p><p>He ran into the Covert, and bellowed “We have to go! As soon as possible!”  </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“<em>Gideon is here.  </em></p><p>The Armorer swore, extensively. They needed time. </p><p>“Like, HERE, here?”  </p><p>“<em>Fuck me, that was you.” </em>Teryn’s muffled voice came from the communicator. Paz glanced at it and started snapping orders. </p><p>“Finish getting your personal items and meet at the ships. You, you, and you, set pressure charges at all the entrances except the one to the ships. If it is clear, set some at the approach through the ruins. I want a warning if they come through.”  </p><p>Din and Cuan came running back. </p><p>“<em>Do you know when they’re going to attack?” </em></p><p>
  <em> “Soon, maybe tonight?” </em>
</p><p>“It’s Gideon?” Din’s voice was controlled, but his hands were clenched. Paz nodded. </p><p>“Yeah. Who’s she talking to? Do you know?”  </p><p>
  <em> “...shabiir.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Fuck up.”  </em>
</p><p>Din’s head snapped around. “Fuck. It’s the teacher.”</p><p>Cuan frowned. “From Panoog?” Din nodded. </p><p>“I expected him to be dead with the rest of them. Why is he alive?” </p><p>“Sounds like they coerced him into working with them. He didn’t know about the attack on the mining planet.” Paz said. </p><p>“<em>Coming back. Might have some deadwood.” </em>The sounds were more muffled, but still audible.</p><p>“She sounds <em> pissed</em>.” Cuan said. </p><p>“She is.” Din and Paz said in unison.</p><p>“<em>Shit!” </em> There was a sound of running, then a grunt. Din felt his heart stop as another voice, faint, but through a voice modulator came through the communicator. “<em>It’s the girl! He wanted her alive.”  </em>There was a sound of a struggle, and an unmistakable gurgle of a throat being slit. Another scrabble, a grunt, and then a whispered order.  </p><p>“<em>Go.” </em></p><p><br/>
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</p><p>She didn’t see where the troopers had come from, nor did she really care that much. This entire situation had gotten to be completely stupid. <em> Want me alive? Fine. I’ll make it hard for you. </em> The blood from the throat she’d cut got on her cloak, which was a shame. </p><p>But the effort to keep it quiet so as not to draw more attention and make the escape impossible wasn’t enough. And holding Andrys at blasterpoint to get her to stop fighting actually worked. For fuck’s sake. </p><p><em> I should just let them kill him. </em>She scowled. “FINE. Fine.” </p><p>As stormtroopers went, these guys were <em> terrible </em>. They took her blaster, and the vibroblade from her hand, but they didn’t search her for other weapons, so she still had one vibroblade in a boot, and her flamethrower. They didn’t even make her take off the cloak, so they hadn’t seen the armor. They didn’t even restrain her with cuffs or anything, they just had one on each side, holding her arms.  </p><p>
  <em> And you really thought you weren’t going to need the shock batons, so you packed them already. Fucking di’kut. </em>
</p><p>The troopers frog marched them both through the main square, and she took quick glances to get her bearings. Tall buildings surrounded the square, at least ten, eleven stories high. Narrow windows. They were taken into the city hall building. <em> Probably a hangar behind it. </em></p><p>It was swarming with troopers, and in what clearly had been the city council chambers, was a tall man in black armor and long black cloak, waiting. On his belt was the blocky hilt of the DarkSaber. </p><p>Teryn eyed the man narrowly. He gave a cold smile. </p><p>“Teryn Brennen, disgraced Mandalorian. What’s the word for you? Oh yes.” His smile got wider.  “Dar’Manda.”</p><p>“You have the advantage of me. Who are you?”  She smiled pleasantly, around the annoyed terror she felt.   </p><p>“I think you know. Let’s not play games.”  </p><p>“Fine. Take all your… people, and leave, and we won’t have to play any.” She kept smiling, looking around the room. Ten stormtroopers, plus the ones holding her and Andrys, and another three deathroopers. Fuck.</p><p>“I know where your… <em> former… </em> tribe is holed up. They will be exterminated. And I will have what I want.”  </p><p>She didn’t answer, and merely looked at him.   </p><p>“It’ll be easier to get what I want with you alive.” He stepped forward and gently stroked her cheek with one finger. She inhaled sharply and willed herself to not move. “Oh, you don’t like that?”  </p><p>“Fuck you.” </p><p>“Such language.” He slapped her face lightly. “None of your people like it when I touch their faces after I’ve taken their helmets, before I kill them. Not one.” He placed his full palm on her cheek. “Interesting that you don’t like it either. It’s been what, ten years since you removed your helmet?”</p><p>She glared. Of course he would do that, the sick fuck. </p><p>“You’d think you would be used to this by now.”</p><p>She inhaled through her nose, and let it out through her mouth. Every minute he was there, talking, trying to scare her, that was another minute the Covert had to evacuate. “How did you find us?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s not always hard to find Mandalorians, if you know what to look for.”</p><p>“How did you find me?” </p><p>“Once I knew that Din Djarin was the Mandalorian that took my property-” She jerked at that. He chuckled. “-my property, as I said, I set out to find everything I could about him. I didn’t expect to find much about you after the Purge, but you popped up again, with the Rebel Alliance. From there, it was merely a matter of finding where you’d gone to ground.”  He continued to stroke her face, and moved his hand down to her throat. “I would have expected you to change your name after removing your helmet, but I haven’t found your people… your <em> former </em> people to be very smart.”</p><p>Teryn’s breathing became sharp and ragged as his fingers tightened slightly around her throat, She hadn’t changed her name because it was the only thing left she’d had that was hers- the Mandalorians hadn’t given it to her, and she was damned if she’d let one coward or the Creed and the Way take from her. </p><p>“While it is tempting to kill you now, here, as I said, it’ll be much more useful to me to keep you alive and draw Din Djarin out. Maybe I’ll even keep alive until after I’ve exterminated your former tribe. It could be fun.” His hand stroked one braid, letting it play through his fingers. </p><p>She sighed to herself. “You know, if you’d said that three weeks ago, I would have told you to hurry the fuck up. Now you’re just making me angry.”</p><p>“Let me guess. I wouldn’t like you when you’re angry, is that right?”  </p><p>“I don’t give a fuck if you like me or not.” </p><p>He smiled, that terrifying, cold smile again. “Oh, I think I <em>do </em> like you.”</p><p>“It has occurred to me that I’ve had my life upended multiple times because of you. I don’t care for it.” </p><p>Gideon chuckled and patted her cheek again. “Breaking you will be such fun.” He turned his attention to Andrys, also being held by stormtroopers. “This one was marginally useful, but once it became clear he wasn’t really interested in helping us, I had that little mining town of yours razed to the ground.” </p><p>“Don’t lie to him. You were going to do that anyway.” <em> Keep him talking, keep him talking. This demagolka can’t help but strut at how clever he thinks he is when he’s got his enemies on their back foot.   </em></p><p>Gideon turned and smiled. “Well, probably. The mines are useful- iron ore always is. But the people weren’t interested in my administration.”  </p><p>Teryn bit back her retort. She could already see where this was going to end, and there really wasn’t much she could do about it. Not with as many deathtroopers as there were. </p><p>“I told this idiot to help me find you, and he said he would be more successful on his own- he’d just have to report back. So I sent him on his way. Not without some insurance, of course- he didn’t know about the tracking chip we’d implanted into him.” </p><p>Andrys looked at him in horror, then at Teryn. She sighed to herself. Of course Gideon did, and of course Andrys wouldn’t have suspected. </p><p>“Getting the information on the bounty pucks was a good idea- you weren’t <em> just </em> a medic, were you?” </p><p>“I was a lot of things.” </p><p>“Mmmmm. Well, you were trying to find her, because you thought you could save her, and then what, she’d fall into your arms from gratitude?”  </p><p>Andrys didn’t answer, but his face told her that at least part of him did hope that might happen. Gideon shrugged.  </p><p>“Pity.”  </p><p>The Darksaber erupted from his hand, the blade going into Andrys’ chest. He gasped and died, and Teryn jerked at the hands of the troopers holding her, swallowing back a shout. </p><p>Gideon turned off the Darksaber and put it back on his belt, looking dispassionately at the body at his feet. “Take her away, to one of the cells in the basement. We’ll begin the assault in half an hour.”  </p><p>As the stormtroopers pulled her away, she turned back and leveled a furious glare at Gideon. </p><p>“Ib’tuur jatne tuur ash’ad kyr’amur.”</p><p>“I didn’t quite catch that.” He smiled again. </p><p>“My brother is going to toast his victory by drinking tihaar out of your skull.”  </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p><p>auretiise: Outsiders<br/>di’kut: idiot<br/>shu’shuk: Disaster<br/>vod: Brother<br/>Ni su’cuyi, gar kyr, advc, ni partayli, gar darsuum: Daily remembrance of those passed on *I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal.* Followed by repetition of loved ones' names.<br/>utreekov: fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)<br/>chakaar: corpse robber, thief, petty criminal - general term of abuse<br/>shabiir: screw up - impolite (but fuck up works as well)<br/>Dar’Manda: a state of not being Mandalorian - not an outsider, but one who has lost his heritage, and so his identity and his soul - regarded with absolute dread by most traditionall-minded Mando'ade<br/>demagolka: someone who commits atrocties, a real-life monster, a war criminal - from the notorious Mandalorian scientist of the Old Republic, Demagol, known for his experiments on children, and a figure of hate and dread in the Mando psyche<br/>Ib’tuur jatne tuur ash’ad kyr’amur: Today is a good day for someone else to die - Mando saying (because they're not daft...)<br/>tihaar: alcoholic drink - strong clear spirit made from fruit, like eau de vie</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. You're two days nearer death, but you go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Songbird or Shriek Hawk?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em> Din Djarin had been with the Mandalorians for a year when his Buir brought home the girl.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He was not impressed. She was tiny. And skinny. And dirty. And had hair like a womp rat’s nest. And she looked mad.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Din? This is your new vod’ika, Teryn.” Jha Strutu knelt down to the eye level of the skinny girl. “Teryn? This is your ori’vod, Din. Ori’vod means ‘older brother’ and vod’ika means ‘little sister’.” Teryn eyed Din with extreme distrust and not a little bit of disdain. Din politely held his hand out, then pulled it back when she bit his fingers.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ow!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Jha hadn’t intended to take a second Foundling, but she found the girl in the rubble of yet another Separatist attack. The girl had screamed and charged at Jha when Jha approached the body of a dog. She couldn’t just let a little shriek-hawk like that go, so Jha adopted her as well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Din looked at his Buir dubiously. Jha nodded. “She’ll be okay. But she’s very small, and as her ori’vod, it’s your job to protect her and help her. This is all new and scary, and you’ve been through it. So you can help her. Okay?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Din thought about it for a second, then nodded.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The next morning, the girl was not in her bed. Din found her hiding under her bed, eyes big and wide. He sighed, and cautiously (cautiously) held out his hand. She stared at him, and backed further into the corner.   </em>
</p><p><em> “It’s okay. You’re safe here.” Din beckoned with his fingers, “Morut’yc. That means safe.” She seemed to be slightly less backed into the corner, watching him. “They’re… I don’t know if nice is the word. But they’ll take care of you. And Buir </em> is <em> nice. Are you hungry?”  </em></p><p>
  <em> For months, Din had woken up to find her bed empty, and had to go find her in the morning. And every morning, he would find her (except for that one time), and remind her that she was morut’yc. That she was safe.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He realized, and could not quite believe it had taken him this long, that she would wake up from a nightmare, and go find a place to hide. She didn’t make a noise when waking up, like so many Foundlings did (Like he still did sometimes), she didn’t cry, she’d just… wake up, and vanish.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Din and Jha knew that she’d finally believed that she was safe when there was a giant  thunderstorm, and instead of going to hide, she’d crawled in with him. Morut’yc.  </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Paz tuned two extra communicators so that Din and, after a pause and a nod from Din, Cuan could listen to what Teryn was sending. They didn’t have time to stand around and listen, not when she was clearly trying to stall Gideon. They needed to use the time she was buying them to get everyone on the ships. </p><p>“<em>...None of your people like it when I touch their faces after I’ve taken their helmets… </em>”</p><p>Cuan and Din looked at each other in mounting horror, and they heard Paz give a roar of rage. They couldn’t do anything but listen- Gideon was entrenched. They could only hope that Teryn would be able to hold on until they figured out what they needed to do. </p><p>“<em>...it is more useful to me to keep you alive… </em>” </p><p>Din allowed himself a sigh of relief. There was a chance. Gideon thought he had the element of surprise, but thanks to whatever Teryn did to the communicator, they had a <em>chance</em>. It may not have been a large chance, but they would take it, and they would use it.</p><p>He would not leave her behind. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Not long after he’d come of age, sworn the Creed, and gone on his first operation, he came back. He decided to spend the night back in his old room, telling himself it was because they missed him. He woke up from a nightmare, trying to muffle his cries- the operation had triggered memories of the reason he was a Mandalorian in the first place, and he’d dreamed about the death of his parents for the first time in a long while.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He realized that his 11 year old vod’ika was sitting next to him, stroking his arm, and murmuring, “Ger morut’yc, ger morut’yc.”   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Breaking you will be such fun </em>.” Din's stomach turned, and he saw Cuan’s hands flex. He couldn’t blame him. </p><p>“<em>Pity. </em>”  </p><p>Andrys’ death rattle wasn’t entirely unexpected. Finding out they had half an hour was a gift.  </p><p>“<em>My brother is going to toast his victory by drinking tihaar out of your skull. </em>”  </p><p>That was a relief. She was still fighting. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The troopers marched Teryn down a hallway, then around a corner towards a set of stairs going down. The hall was empty. She glanced down at the trooper on her left. His blaster was within reach, and these idiots still hadn’t used any restraints. </p><p>She deliberately tripped, pulling one arm out the grip of one trooper, and making the other stumble, and grabbed the blaster of the one on her left. She rolled her eyes, “You fucking casuals,” shot the one on her right from underneath, and used the vibroblade they hadn’t taken from her on the left-hand one. She quickly grabbed the other blaster and took off running down the hall, until she found an open door to an empty office.  </p><p>
  <em> Two. </em>
</p><p>She yanked the communicator out from where it was hidden under her cuirass and pulled at the hair tie holding down the talk button. “Did you get that? You have 25 minutes to get the fuck out of here.” She let go of the talk button, hoping like hell it was still working.</p><p>“Vod’ika?” </p><p>She sat down in relief. “Thank the-”</p><p>“Vod’ika, we’re coming to get you.”  </p><p>“No. You have to get out.”  She heard a sound in the hall, and ducked behind a desk. The door opened, and then shut again. She cautiously peered from behind the desk. Empty. </p><p>These fucking casuals couldn’t even sweep a room properly.  </p><p>“I’m going to try and buy you some extra time.” She took a deep breath. “There’s at least three platoons of stormtroopers, and a bunch of deathtroopers. The stormtroopers are bullshit, but there’s a lot of them.” She checked the readings on her liberated blasters. “Fuck, these things aren’t even fully charged! Idiots.” </p><p>“Stop giving a report! Just find a place where we can get you.” Din was both frantic and exasperated.</p><p>“I don’t know what kind of air support they’ve got, but if I’m able to fuck it up, I will.” She took a deep breath and tried to sound optimistic. “Depends on if I can find some charges though.” </p><p>“Vod’ika,” Din’s voice got more frantic. “I’m not leaving you!” </p><p>She squeezed her eyes shut. “You have to. You have to take the Kid, and you have to <em> go. </em> All of you have to <em> go. </em>” </p><p>“No-”</p><p>“Listen to me.” She wiped her eyes with the edge of her cloak. “You promised me you wouldn’t do anything stupid. YOU PROMISED ME. And not taking the Kid and getting out would be stupid as fuck. So you take him, and the rest of the Tribe, and you go. This is...”  She took a deep, shaky breath. “This is the Way.”</p><p>“Ter’ika, <em> no</em>, we can-”</p><p><em> “Don’t look back</em>.”  </p><p>“LaarSenaar.” Cuan’s voice broke through. “Gedet’ye...” </p><p>“Fuck, I wish... “ She bit back a sob. “I wanted… I’m so sorry. For everything.” </p><p>“Cyar’ika, just sit tight…” </p><p>“No, there are too many and you’re wasting all this time arguing when you should be leaving!”  </p><p>“We can-” </p><p>The door burst open again and she stood up and fired several rounds at the troopers at the door. One managed to dodge the barrage and she flamed him in the face. If nothing else, it was great to have a flamethrower again. </p><p>“I’m out of time. Al’verde? Al’verde, are you there?”</p><p>“Yes.” Paz was more controlled.</p><p>“Don’t let them do anything stupid. <em> Protect the Tribe</em>. Don’t look back. I’ll do what I can.” She looked down at the communicator, and held it up one last time. “Gar kar’taylir darasuum, ori’vod. It’s my turn to protect you. Re-” her voice rippled with broken sob. “Ret’urcye mhi.” </p><p>She turned off the communicator, shrugged off the cloak, and tied her braids into a knot on the back of her head. She allowed herself five seconds to press the heels of her hands to her face. Five seconds. The rest of her life needed to be spent wisely, but she could take these five seconds for aay’han. <em> A bittersweet moment of joy and sorrow. </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The two of them, sitting together in shocked, mourning silence after the Purge. Too many names to list. Fires, but no pyres. No songs. Just silence.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She looted the blasters from the stormtroopers she’d killed, and took a deep breath. Time to go fuck some shit up.  </p><p><em>SIx</em>.</p><p>Teryn had a blaster in each hand, and had crammed a third into her holster- it didn’t fit, exactly, but it would do. What she really wanted was some charges- charges made for maximum chaos. At least she wouldn’t have to be particularly sneaky- the idea was to draw as many troopers away from preparing to assault the Covert as possible. </p><p>She’d noticed that the city council chamber Gideon was in had an upper gallery- that would be useful. Back stairs were probably better. She headed away from the front entrance, clearing the corners at every turn. </p><p>The back stairs were near an entrance, and there was a pallet of supplies just outside, including, what luck, a carton of explosive charges. And one very bored guard. He wasn’t bored long- a stab to the back of the neck took care of that. She considered trying to yank the comms unit from his helmet, but that would take too much time, and to be honest, she wasn’t sure she remembered how to do it.  </p><p>“I really should suggest to alor that armor comes with pockets,” she muttered, and made a makeshift sack with a tarp, and piled as many charges as she could carry at speed. After a thought, she set another detonator on the longest timer possible and tucked it back into the crate with the remaining detonators, and darted up the stairs just as she heard another couple of troopers coming down the hall towards the back entrance.  </p><p>She’d made the second floor when the charges went off with a satisfying explosion that rocked the building to its foundations. She ducked around a corner, and a pair of troopers came running towards the sound of the explosion, and she hit them with one shot each.  </p><p>
  <em> Nine. </em>
</p><p>Down the hall, looking for signs that pointed to the viewing gallery. One at the door that actually got a shot off before she could kill him. </p><p>Aim was still shit. </p><p>She opened the door and peered cautiously around the doorway- no one in the gallery, but the railing was not solid. She could hear Gideon’s voice, and someone answering him.  </p><p>“...the girl isn’t anywhere to be found.” </p><p>“How did she escape?”</p><p>“We don’t know sir, but…” </p><p>It was tempting. It was too tempting- he wasn’t looking up, she could take the shot and end this, end this once and for all. She took one knee, brought up the blaster to aim, and the movement of her arm made the beskar of her vambrace flash in the sunlight. </p><p>Gideon turned just as she pulled the trigger, and the blaster bolt whisked by his head. He snarled, and pulled out his own blaster and fired a barrage, one shot catching her in the pauldron, and she fell back, groaning. </p><p>“GET HER!” He bellowed, “Bring her back to me!”  Troopers ran out, hollering on their radios. She pulled herself to her feet, and his mouth tightened, looking up. She smirked down at him, holding a charge in each hand. His eyes widened slightly, and he ran for cover as she tossed them over the railing, and she bolted for the exit.  </p><p>The explosion was huge, and she stumbled. Two troopers were in front of her, and she could hear more behind her. <em> Fuck. </em> She pulled the blaster still in her holster and screamed and charged.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Ner jai’galaar’ika.” her Buir had called her fondly. My little shriek-hawk. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Twelve. </em>
</p><p>One of the troopers behind made a lucky shot that ricocheted off her backplate, and she used the momentum from the force of the shot to do a forward roll, and shoot at them from under her arm. “Beskar, turdfuckers!”</p><p>She didn’t hit any of them from that wild angle, but they did scatter and stop running for a precious half a second. She darted up more stairs, and ducked around a corner to take a breath, and waited for them to follow her. There was a pause, and she realized they were waiting for reinforcements. Reinforcements to go after one pissed-off former Mandalorian. It was gratifying.  </p><p>She quickly looked at how many charges she had left. Five. Excellent. Boots stomped up the stairs, and she tossed one charge down the hall. One of the stormtroopers actually had a working braincell, and punted it back towards her. She broke cover and ran, shooting behind her, and almost made it to a corner when it went off. The explosion knocked her off her feet and she rolled  around the corner, blinking and shaking her head, trying to clear the ringing.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The first day of being put in the creche during the day with the other Foundlings too young for training, and tackling the biggest one who tried to tease her. “Your little shriek-hawk is a biter.” they’d told Buir. Jha was not surprised in the least.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Boots pounded towards her- fewer, at least, and she’d lost her grip on the blaster. She pulled her remaining vibroblade, and waited- if the order to take her alive was still in effect, then she was still in the game. </p><p>She could see only two pairs of feet coming toward her, and she made a show of struggling to her her hands and knees. As soon as they drew close enough, she reared up and slashed one in the gap between his thigh armor and the codpiece, cutting through his femoral artery. He’d bleed out in seconds. The other one reared back in surprise, and she surged to her feet and stabbed him, back hand, in the neck. His blood spurted into her face.</p><p>
  <em> Fourteen.  </em>
</p><p>She took another breath, then sheathed the vibroblade, and picked up one of the blaster rifles dropped by the dead troopers. <em> Up, up, up. Go up.  </em></p><p>She turned down another hallway -government building were such fucking mazes the galaxy over- and slowed down. Her ears were still ringing, it was hard to hear anyone coming.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Do you verde want to live forever?” the training master screamed during a training run that seemed to never end. She’d said that she went into medical because there was less running. It was mostly a joke. Mostly. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>If she remembered correctly, and she wasn’t entirely sure if she did, the building was around 10 stories tall. She was on the third. If she could get the roof, there were probably a lot of distraction opportunities up there. Signs pointed to a lift, which was probably not the best plan, but worth checking out.  </p><p>There were three lifts, and one was moving up. They had to at least suspect she was still on that floor, if they didn’t know (were there security cameras? She hadn’t even looked). She slapped one of the charges on the lift door and set it to go off when she guessed the lift would arrive, then took off running, looking for another set of stairs. </p><p>Another pair of stormtroopers appeared in front of her, and to their credit, seemed slightly taken aback when she didn’t show the run, just opened fire on them. </p><p>
  <em> Sixteen. </em>
</p><p>Another group down a hall to one side, with stairs right in front of her. She tossed a charge and took the stairs two and three at a time.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “How much stress can a human body take before it shuts down?” She’d asked Din during hell week. He’d laughed and found the patches for the blisters on her feet, just like she’d done for him four years before.   </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She was at the eighth floor when she could hear the sounds of pursuit down below her- that was good, that meant her head was cleaning from the blast concussion. She also only had three charges left. Better to save them until she could be sure of more casualties.  </p><p>Up, up, up.  Keep going up. Just keep going until you can’t anymore.  </p><p>By the time she’d reached the roof, the group beneath her had made up ground. She tossed a charge behind her as she ran through the door to the roof.  </p><p>The sun was still out. That seemed like it shouldn’t be true. </p><p>She took a breath, checked the charge on the rifle. A hundred shots left, and two charges. Well. It could be worse.  </p><p>Over the edge of the roof, in the square was full of the remaining stormtroopers who weren’t chasing after her milling about. Things looked pretty chaotic already, and she allowed herself a small amount of satisfaction. It had worked, at least. She chucked her last two charges into the fray, and as soon as they exploded, opened fire. The rifle wasn’t great at that range, but the panic it caused, the panic was beautiful.  </p><p>Behind her she heard a slow, methodical clap. She turned, and there was Gideon, flanked by two deathtroopers. She brought the rifle up, but there was only one shot left.</p><p>It hit one of the deathtroopers, but he shrugged it off.   </p><p>“I am impressed.” Gideon smiled, that cold, deadly smile. “That was quite a bit of damage for one girl.”</p><p>She tossed the rifle aside, and stared him down, panting slightly. “I’m a grown-ass woman. Not a <em> girl</em>.” </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. I was surprised by the beskar.” he gestured at her armor. “It will add nicely to my collection.” He motioned to the deathtroopers. “Alive, if possible.”  </p><p>She stood her ground as they came towards her, blasters raised. She eyed them narrowly, moved her hands like she was going to raise them in surrender, then slid between the two troopers. She hit one with the most powerful blast from her flamethrower she could, then vaulted to the back of the other, and yanked desperately at his helmet. It came off, and she tossed it to the side, pulling her vibroblade from her boot and stabbing it down into his neck.  </p><p>She slid down to her knees as he died, and he looked at her- he was young, so young. He couldn’t have been more than 18. She looked up at Gideon with cold rage. </p><p>
  <em> Eighteen. </em>
</p><p>“You are out of options, and you have nowhere to go.” She sank down to one knee, and looked up at the sky.  </p><p>It was so blue. And the sun on the mountains was glorious.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Four years old, walking with Din and Buir through the compound, and hearing a harmonic rhythm from a common area. Looking at Buir with big eyes, and at her nod, running towards it. A group of Mandalorians, beating on pieces of beskar, and singing, singing songs of victory. She’d never heard anything like it before. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>She looked at Gideon. And smiled. And ran for the edge of the roof. </p><p>And jumped.  </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>People wanted to know more about Din and T's childhood. So. There you go.</p><p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p><p>Mandoa translations:</p><p>tihaar: alcoholic drink - strong clear spirit made from fruit, like eau de vie<br/>Laar: Song<br/>Senaar: Bird<br/>Gedet’ye: Please<br/>Cyar’ika: darling, sweetheart<br/>Al’verde: Commander<br/>Gar kar’taylir darasuum: I love you<br/>Ret’urcye mhi: Goodbye - lit. *Maybe we'll meet again*<br/>alor: Chief<br/>jai’galaar: Shriek hawk<br/>ika: diminutive suffix written as 'ika - also added to a name as a very familiar or childhood form, e.g, Ord'ika - Little Ordo<br/>verde: Soldiers<br/>beskar: Mandalorian iron</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. You be the lamb and we'll be the slaughter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Din and the boys race against the clock.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Gar kar’taylir darasuum, ori’vod. It’s my turn to protect you. Re… Ret’urcye mhi</em>.”</p><p>Din hands clenched. “No! Vod’ika! Ter’ika...” His stomach dropped. Not like this. He was not going to lose her like this. They’d come too far. His hands clenched around the Kid, who he had in a sling around his front. They’d already had most of their things loaded onto the Razor Crest. </p><p>The Kid understood a lot more than his people thought. He understood goodbye. He understood love. And he understood, more than any of his people realized, the concept of despair. He heard it in the voice of his beloved Bavo’du, and he felt it in the hands and heartbeat of his buir.  </p><p>He understood. </p><p>Paz put a hand on his arm. “Beroya-”</p><p>“NO.” Din shoved Paz’s hand away “No.”</p><p>“We need-” Paz took a deep breath. “<em>Djarin</em>. We need to make sure the Talon gets away, and we need to come up with a plan.” </p><p>“I will not abandon her. <em> Not again.</em>” Cuan looked up at him, and nodded. He’d known her for a matter of only a few weeks, but any help her hard-headed brother needed to get her back, he’d provide. Without question. </p><p>You don’t let a girl like that go, not without helping her fight her way home. </p><p>Paz cocked his head at Din. “Of course not. So let's go.”  Din and Cuan stared at him and Paz rolled his eyes. “Are you two going to argue with me? Let’s <em> go. </em>” They ran to where the ships were, out a secret back entrance. </p><p>At the ships, Ordo had the Talon fired up, and the rest of the Tribe was already on it. The Armorer was waiting for them at the gangplank. </p><p>“She’s going to try to stall them, alor. She told us to go and leave her.” Paz said.</p><p>“Which we are not going to do.” snarled Din. He shrugged off the sling with the Kid and held it out to the Armorer. “Please take him. We will-”</p><p>The Kid screamed, and Din staggered back a step as the Kid <em> shoved </em> them back, away from the Armorer. “Ad’ika, no, you need to go with them, it’ll be safe-” The Kid screamed again, and Din was pushed two more steps back, with an overwhelming feeling of <em> no </em>echoing in his helmet.</p><p>“I believe that is not going to be possible,” the Armorer said mildly. </p><p>Cuan looked from Din, to the Kid, to the Armorer, and back at the Kid. “What the fuck.” He shook his head. “No wonder Gideon wants him.’ Din and Paz both turned and looked at him, both hands reflexively gripping their weapons. </p><p>“I told you, he’s a Mandalorian. Keeping from Gideon is a priority, but if he’s not willing to be separated from you... “ He shrugged. “Who’s on the Razor Crest?” </p><p>“You should go on the Talon to your Covert…”</p><p>“No.” Cuan’s response was immediate and brooked no argument. “I’m going with you.” </p><p>Paz sighed. “Fine, but we can’t take all the warriors. The beroya flies, you, me…” He frowned to himself. The risks of this were not small. Risking any more warriors than was necessary would be irresponsible at best. He looked at the Armorer. “I think it should just be us.” </p><p>She considered. “Agreed.” She looked at Cuan. “Your vod’ika’s armor is on this ship. We will have it for you to return to your Tribe.”  He nodded. “We will wait for you at the rendezvous point for three hours, then we will continue on. Understood?” </p><p>They all nodded. </p><p> “The rest of you, good luck. Go quickly. Ret’urcye mhi.”</p><p>“Ret’urcye mhi, alor.” They turned back to the Razor Crest as the Talon’s hatch closed. Inside the Razor Crest, Din took a deep breath. “I’m going to put my ad’ika in the sleeping compartment. It’ll be safer for him than up in the cockpit. Can you,” he looked at Paz, “Get his carrier out of the co-pilot’s seat? I can secure him better.”</p><p>The Kid was annoyed at this idea. He was staying with his Buir, and they were going to get his Ba’vodu. He could tell there was danger involved, and his Buir was <em> scared</em>. His Buir was also angry, but mostly he was scared. He couldn’t let him go, not by himself, and he couldn’t just sit quietly while they did...whatever they were going to do. </p><p>His family could not be trusted on their own. Not really. They kept proving that over and over again. Oh, sure, the Stern One and the New One were there, but that wasn’t the same. Atin had followed them into the Razor Crest, and politely waited for everyone to get settled. </p><p>Paz found that he could not move forward to the ladder. He just… couldn’t. It’s like there was something preventing him from moving at all, until he turned around. “I don’t think your ad’ika likes that idea.” Din looked down at the Kid, who blinked up him guilelessly. </p><p>“Fine.” </p><p>“Get used to it,” smirked Paz, until they all heard a thump from the sleeping compartment. Din opened the door and there was Paz’s own Foundling, Faris, chin jutting up in defiance. “What the FUCK.” They turned to hear the Talon taking off, and even though Faris was wearing his helmet, Paz could tell the little shit was smirking. They couldn’t off-load him now.  </p><p>“Buir, I wanted to help!” </p><p>For not the first time in dealing with this kid, Paz wished that he could reach through his helmet to pinch his nose. It was too late to do anything but take the kid with them. Faris knew it. And there wasn’t time to yell at him, either. “Fine. But you will listen to my orders and obey them without questioning, and I assure you, we will be having a <em> discussion </em> about this once we have gotten the al’baar’ur.” </p><p>“Yes, al’verde.” Faris sounded obedient, but Paz knew his fucking kid. </p><p>“You’ll go up with the beroya and help him look for her, and keep an eye on his ad’ika.” Paz turned to Cuan. “You and I will handle the guns from here. How’re you at Rising Phoenix?”</p><p>“Passable.”  </p><p>“Hmmmmm.”  Paz climbed up to the cockpit, where the Kid was settled into his carrier, and Din was going through the startup sequence. “You need to focus.” </p><p>“I know.” Din was radiating tension.</p><p>Paz put a hand on Din’s shoulder. “We will get her. We are going to do this.”</p><p>Din nodded, hands convulsing on the steering column. “Yes.”  </p><p>“But you need to keep calm and <em> do the job. </em> That’s what this is. Another mission. So take a deep breath, compartmentalize, and let’s go.” Paz paused. “My stubborn fucking ad’ika has good eyes. Use him.” <em>And then I’m gonna chain his foot to the floor. “ </em>Once we get near the town center, open the side hatch, and we’ll provide cover and see what’s up. If we’re lucky, we’ll see her and go from there.”  </p><p>Din nodded. Paz was right. He needed to focus, to compartmentalize. He couldn’t help her while blinded by panic. And that’s exactly what Gideon wanted- he wanted  them to be blinded by panic. But they weren’t. They were fueled by rage. </p><p>Faris climbed up and took the co-pilot’s seat. He was quivering in excitement and fear- both fear of the mission and, he had to admit, fear of how mad his buir was going to be once it was done. But he could help, and he would. His older siblings had been killed on Navarro, and he knew that Vayez and Vha would have been the first to insist that they should come along.  </p><p>Since his siblings couldn’t be there, he would.</p><p>Din lifted up the ship, just as they heard the first explosion from the mines they had set at the entrance of the Covert go off. Normally, he’d want to make a wide circle, and not approach his target directly, but these were not normal circumstances. He steered towards the occupied part of the city. </p><p>“What are we looking for, Beroya?” asked Faris.</p><p>“We will see it when we see-” Din started to answer, just as a giant explosion went off in the distance. Din nodded. “That. We are looking for that.” </p><p>Faris stood to get a better view. There was a column of stormtroopers heading for the entrance of the Covert, but they didn’t notice the Razor Crest- likely didn’t realize the ship was important to their object. Teryn was right, thought Din. These guys were fucking casuals. It was almost insulting. </p><p>Almost.</p><p>They got closer and saw another couple of explosions from a building on the main square, and Din steered towards it, and opened the hatch. Through the comm link in their helmets he said, “Looks like charges are going off in that building over-” He turned the ship so they could see. “Follow the explosions.” </p><p>“Oh shit.” Cuan’s voice was quietly impressed. </p><p>Faris plastered himself to the windscreen, scanning the square. “I see deathtroopers! They’re looking up!” </p><p>“Where?” snapped Paz. </p><p>“In the square, next to the fountain!” Faris looked at the building again. “Looks like there was another explosion. How many charges does she have?” </p><p>Din shrugged, then swerved the Crest wide to avoid a few shots from the plaza. Cuan and Paz fired a few times back, just to keep the deathtroopers on their toes, but the range wasn’t ideal. </p><p>“I see her! She’s on the roof!” </p><p>Paz and Cuan took off through the hatch. Din swung the Razor Crest around so he could see what was happening. He saw Gideon approaching before she did, and watched as she took out the two deathtroopers, clearly exhausted and about out of everything. </p><p>Her armor shone in the sun. </p><p>He saw her take a knee, and look up, and he felt his heart stop. He could suddenly see exactly how this would play out, in painstaking detail. They weren’t close enough. The ship was behind her, she couldn’t see them. If he opened fire, there was no way for her to escape. He saw her start to run, and he saw her jump.</p><p> </p><p>She was falling, but not as fast as she would have expected.  </p><p>Hands seized her out of the sky. She found herself cradled against a blue kar’ta beskar. </p><p>The sky was still so blue.  </p><p> </p><p>Din could tell the fall wasn’t normal, it was too slow, and he glanced back- the Kid was in his carrier, eyes closed, hand outstretched. <em> I really should stop him from over-exerting himself. This is too much.  </em></p><p>He saw Gideon run after her, and then pull back in surprise as he saw Paz catch her. Gideon whipped around, and saw the Razor Crest aiming at him. He ran for stairs- Din waited until he was sure Paz and Teryn were out of the blast radius to begin strafing the building. </p><p>Paz had grabbed her around the torso, and was immensely relieved when the training had kicked in, and she she had instinctively grabbed him around the back of his shoulders and locked her legs around his hips- carrying a deadweight was difficult in the best of times, and trying to get one into a moving target like the Razor Crest was just not something he’d rather do. He aimed for the open hatch, and wrapped his arms around her unprotected head. </p><p>Cuan followed, providing covering fire. He knew exactly how close Paz was when she jumped, and he still felt his soul die when she did. <em> Don’t make this all be in vain, please. </em> He allowed himself a whoop when Paz caught her, and then couldn’t remember if the comms were still on or not, until he heard Din shout back.  </p><p>Paz flew into the hatch, trying to match velocity, and they ended up rolling over and over down the length of the hold. They finally stopped with Paz on top in a tangle of limbs. She groaned, and shoved him off to the side, and stared up at the ceiling, breathing heavily. </p><p>Cuan landed in the Crest and glanced out the hatch door, and just for fun, tossed his own charges down into the already disorganized crowd of troopers below. He bellowed up to Din that they were in, and shut the hatch.  </p><p>Din steered the Razor Crest up into the sky. Maybe they got him this time. Maybe this time, Gideon was actually dead. Get into the black, get far enough away from the planet to enter hyperspace. That was what he needed to do. She wasn’t alone down there.  </p><p>Paz sat off to the side where she’d shoved him, also breathing heavily. That had been incredibly close, and he was pretty sure something to help slow her fall.  </p><p>Cuan knelt next to Teryn, and gently began to feel her head, carefully avoiding letting any part of his hand touch her face. “Are you hurt?”</p><p>She stared up at him, and shook her head slightly. </p><p>“Are you sure?” </p><p>A pause, and then another headshake.  </p><p>“Where’s this blood coming from?” She had blood on her face, and across her cuirass. There was dust and grime everywhere. </p><p>“Not mine.” She paused again. “I don’t think.” </p><p>“Do you know where you are?”  He carefully began to feel her arms and move them. </p><p>She nodded. Paz leaned back against the hull. “The other ship- they made it out. Because you gave us the heads up we needed.” She nodded again, letting out a sigh of relief. </p><p>Cuan hung his head in relief. They’d made it. Somehow, they’d made it. It never would have worked if she hadn’t made good on her vow to cause as much damage as possible. He was still right. His songbird was fucking magnificent. “Can you sit up?” She started to struggle to get to a sitting position, grunting with the effort, and he put his arm around her shoulders to help. “You’ll be more comfortable over on one of the seats” She nodded.  </p><p>Paz got to his own feet and went to find something to help her clean up, and looked back as Cuan helped her get to her feet, and then move further into the hold where there wsa a fold out bench installed. They’d all worked well together, even his infuriating kid. He found a rag and brought it over. Instinctively, he reached out to wipe off the blood drying on her face, and she shrank back. Cuan held out his arm to hold him off, and shook his head slightly. </p><p><em> Shit. </em> </p><p>Cuan took the rag and handed it to her, murmuring quietly. She nodded, and sat down, carefully started to mop at her face, and started to shake. Paz stepped back to give them some space, and glanced back to see Cuan carefully cradling her head against his shoulder, still quietly talking.</p><p>The repeated word he could make out clearly was “Morut’yc.”</p><p>He climbed up to the cockpit, where Din was putting in the coordinates for the rendez-vous point, and Faris was sitting quietly in the passenger seat, looking simultaneously proud of himself and extremely unsure about what was going to happen next. Paz ignored him for the time being.  </p><p>The Kid was sitting tiredly back in his carrier, blinking in exhaustion. </p><p>The ship went into hyperspace, and Din let out the breath he’d been holding for far too long. “Is she….?”</p><p>“She’s in one piece.”</p><p>Din’s shoulders dropped. “Vor entye.”  </p><p>Paz nodded. “Go.” They had several hours to go in hyperspace. Din took a deep breath, and climbed down the ladder, carrying the Kid. </p><p>Paz folded his arms and scowled down at Faris. Faris took a deep breath and raised his chin in defiance. “I wanted to help.” </p><p>“You didn’t have permission. This was dangerous, and you’re not-”</p><p>“I know I’m not of age yet, but I was helpful!” </p><p>Paz closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew that Faris was trying to fill the void left by his siblings, but he was still just a kid. An impetuous, reckless, headstrong kid.</p><p>In other words, he was a Vizsla. </p><p>“Besides potentially distracting me and everyone else on this ship with worry about protecting you, alor has certainly noticed that you aren’t on the Talon. Which means everyone on board is also worried about you, and won’t know for hours that you are safe.” Faris hung his head. He hadn’t thought about that. “When we meet them, you will apologize to everyone. You also will apologize to alor and she will decide what your punishment will be. In addition to whatever alor decides, you and I will be doing extra training in the mornings before breakfast. Clear?”</p><p>“Yes, buir.” Faris hung his head, but it could be much worse. Whatever alor decided wouldn’t be terrible, and while early morning wasn’t his favorite time, he also would get to spend one on one time with his buir. He could live with that.  </p><p>Probably. </p><p> </p><p>Cuan looked up as Din came down the ladder. She had only been marginally successful at getting the blood cleaned up, but he wasn’t about to push the issue at all. She turned at the sound of Din’s footsteps- still shaking slightly. Cuan nuzzled the side of her head. “I’ll be right over there.” He carefully let her go with a reassuring squeeze of the hand, and went over to see how the loth cat was doing, more for the desire to be doing <em> something</em>. </p><p>“You. Idiot.”  </p><p>Din stared at her blankly. </p><p>“I told you to not…. You weren’t supposed to- I said don’t anything stupid!” her voice started quiet and got louder with each broken thought. “You could have gotten killed! You all could have gotten killed! And then where would he be?”  </p><p>At the sound of her voice, the Kid struggled out of Din’s arms and scrambled up her cuirass and bury his face in her neck, hugging her tightly, too tired to cry. Teryn hugged the Kid back and glared up at Din, and said, trying to keep her voice calm so as not to scare the Kid, “You <em> brought </em> him?” </p><p>“He didn’t give us a choice. He wouldn’t go with anyone else.” </p><p>“I told you. I told you to go!”</p><p>“I wasn’t going to leave you behind.” Din sank to his knees in front of her. </p><p>“I told you not to look back.” Her chin started to wobble, and the Kid trilled.</p><p>“I did. I did look back. I won’t abandon you.” Din’s voice started getting thick. “Not again. I did before, and I’m so….”   </p><p>Her face entirely crumpled. “You came back for me. <em> You came back.” </em></p><p>Din wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest, and Kid threaded his claws into her hair, as she started to sob, heavily, brokenly. “I told you. I won’t abandon you.” He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Not again.” She cried harder, wrapping the arm that wasn’t around the Kid around his back.</p><p>“Ni ceta, Vod’ika. Ni ceta, Ter’ika. I won’t do it again. I’m so sorry.” He tightened his arms. “It’s over. We’ve got you. It’s over.”  </p><p>“<em>You came back.</em>” She began to shiver and shake, and descended into uncontrollable sobs, hyperventilating so hard Din was afraid she’d pass out. </p><p>“<em>Gar kar’taylir darasuum, vod’ika. Gar kar’taylir darasuum.” </em>Din pressed his forehead against the top of her head.</p><p>The Kid hopped down and went back to the sleeping compartment. He raised his hand and concentrated, and a blanket lifted from the stack at the end of the cot. The Kid looked up at Cuan, and the blanket floated over to him. Cuan took the blanket and nodded, and the Kid also lifted out his stuffed mythosaur, and they went over to Din and Teryn. Cuan wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and the Kid climbed back into her lap. It didn’t seem to help. She couldn’t stop. Din and Cuan looked at each other.</p><p>“Sedatives?”</p><p>Din nodded. “Meds are in the cabinet next to the cot.” </p><p>Cuan got a hypo-syringe and shot the sedative into her neck, knocking her out in seconds. The Kid looked up worriedly, as she fell back and Din rubbed his ear reassuringly. “She’s safe, she just needs to sleep. Okay?” Cuan and Din carefully put her on the fold out chairs. The sleeping compartment was too awkward to get an unconscious person into it. </p><p>The Kid frowned, then nodded, and held his arms up to Din. Din picked him up, and the Kid cuddled into his neck. He snuggled him back, murmuring quiet assurances.  </p><p>Paz came down, now that it was quiet. “Should we clean her up? Get the blood off her face?” Cleaning off an injured comrade’s helmet was standard. </p><p>Cuan shook his head. “I won’t betray her trust like that.”  </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p>Cuan looked at Paz, and Din, and realized he was the only person who knew the entire truth. “I don’t….I won’t tell her secrets but…”</p><p>“It’s related to her back.” Din said, flatly. </p><p>Cuan nodded. “And Gideon…” He clenched his fists again. “You heard him. He <em> touched </em> her. He’s touched others. It’s not necessary right now. Don’t.”  </p><p>Paz looked at Cuan for a long time, and glanced at Din. Din nodded in agreement. They were mostly silent for the remainder of the trip. Paz went up in the cockpit with Faris, while Din and Cuan stayed down with Teryn. </p><p>She hadn’t moved, not even when her loth cat jumped up and settled on her belly, chin resting the bottom edge of her cuirass. Her face was still shadowed and drawn tight, and there were tear tracks running through the grime and dried blood on her face. </p><p>Din dozed off with the Kid cuddled under his chin. He told himself he needed to get the Kid to sleep- Teryn was by no means the heft of a mudhorn, but it was at a distance. The fact that he was in desperate need of rest, and for once, there were others to keep watch, was immaterial. This was for the Kid. </p><p>
  <em> Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never lie down when you can sleep.  </em>
</p><p>Cuan wanted nothing more than to take off his helmet. He’d gotten used to removing it when they were alone. She hadn’t said anything, but he could tell it was a relief for her to see a face again- the strain of being the only person around without a helmet had been immense. But he also wanted to be respectful of her own people, and while her brother and the al’verde knew that he was less strict with the helmet rule, they hadn’t seen him without it. And the day had been stressful enough. But he wanted to. </p><p>If their Coverts could merge, and if she decided to stay (two very large ifs), maybe she’d be happier. </p><p>He hoped she’d stay.  </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You can read about the Foundling Parkour adventures of Vayez and Vha in Escape Night. Uh. Sorry about that. </p><p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p><p>Gar kar’taylir darasuum: I love you.<br/>Ret’urcye mhi: Goodbye - lit. *Maybe we'll meet again*<br/>Beroya: Bounty Hunter<br/>alor: leader, chief, *officer*, constable, boss<br/>Ad’ika: Little one, kid<br/>al’baar’ur: chief medic, doctor (I made this one up. I was tired of there being no word for doctor)<br/>al’verde: Commander<br/>kar’ta beskar: Iron Heart https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Iron_Heart<br/>Morut’yc: Safe<br/>Vor entye: Thank you (lit. *I accept a debt*)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Open your eyes and look outside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The song bird and the wolf, or "how to have a lot of feelings when you almost died. Again."</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She woke slowly. </p><p>First there were small noises that edged their way into her awareness- the soft snoring of the Kid; rhythmic, slow breathing from Din and Cuan. Then the feeling of the hard bench she was lying on. The blanket underneath her hands. Itchiness on her face. A warm weight on her belly, which she cautiously put a hand on, to discover fur. The weight started to purr. Atin. </p><p>She cautiously opened her eyes. On board the Razor Crest. Good. </p><p>She closed her eyes and took an inventory of how her body felt. Head: achy- dehydration type. Back: stiff. Legs, ankles, and knees: aching like hell. Neck: Stiff. </p><p>In summary: Alive. That was good. </p><p>She opened her eyes again and looked around. Cuan was sitting on the floor next to the bench, head back, and clearly asleep. Din was sitting against the opposite wall cuddling the Kid, and both of them were also asleep. She slowly began to sit up- she was so thirsty, and needed the refresher desperately. Atin made a quiet sound of protest, but hopped down. </p><p>She’d almost made it to her feet, hissing through her teeth, trying to keep quiet so she wouldn’t disturb anyone else, and fell back with a muffled oath. Cuan and Din both woke up, and Cuan shot to her side.  </p><p>“Let me help-”</p><p>“No, no, I can do it.” </p><p>“I know you can, cyar’ika. I know. But you don’t have to.”  </p><p>She looked at him with a mixture of wariness and confusion on her face and after a pause, nodded. He put his arm around her shoulders and helped her stand, and got her moving towards the refresher. </p><p>Once inside, she looked at her face, and grimaced at the dried blood and grit and grime. No time or space to get completely clean, but at least this could be taken care of. She also made a face at the tangled mess her hair was in. That was going to take forever.  </p><p>Once she had taken care of the more immediate needs, she slowly exited. Fucking hell, everything still hurt, so much. Instead of going back to the bench, she started rifling through the meds supply. </p><p>“What do you need?”</p><p>She pulled an assortment out and popped a handful of muscle relaxers and pain killers, and at Din’s mild sound of disapproval, she shot him a glare. “Copaani mirshmure’cye, ori’vod?” </p><p>“No, it’s just… a lot.” Din sighed, and the Kid sighed, too, but contentedly. They were getting lightly snappish with each other, which meant they were okay.</p><p>“I know what’s safe to mix.” She made her way carefully back to the bench, and sat down. Cuan handed her a bottle of water. “How long was I out?”</p><p>“We had to sedate you. It’s been about six hours or so six we left Jelucan.” </p><p> She nodded. “Where are we going?” </p><p>“We’re going to rendez-vous with the Talon and everyone else, and then go together to his Covert on Samaki.” </p><p>She glanced uncertainly at Cuan. He nodded reassuringly. “It’ll be okay.”  </p><p>She raised an eyebrow dubiously. Din put down the Kid, and the Kid clambered up to Teryn’s lap, and started babbling away. Din smiled to himself- he knew what this was like.  She nodded along, and then glanced up at the two of them. “So… what happened? Does alor know what you.... Does alor know?”</p><p>“She does.” Paz came down the ladder, followed by Faris. Teryn’s eyebrows raised higher than Din had ever seen them as she looked at Paz. Paz shrugged. “Stowaway.” Faris hung his head. “Anyway, we followed the explosions, and…. Well, your vod’ad helped. If he hadn’t caught you, then… well, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”  </p><p>She nodded, feeling curiously outside of herself. <em> That’s the muscle relaxers. </em>“Then I guess I’m glad he insisted on coming.” </p><p>“Do you have any idea what your count was?”</p><p>“Hm? Oh, 18.”</p><p>“That's not bad with the charges,” Paz said. </p><p>“Oh, no, that’s 18 <em> plus </em> the charges. I didn't go back to count noses. I was kind of busy.” She smiled beatifically up at him and took a swig of water. </p><p>Paz huffed, impressed. </p><p>She narrowed her eyes at him and frowned. “Why’d you come? You don’t like me.” </p><p>“That’s not... True.” </p><p>“Bullshit. You never have.” She waved the water bottle around and Cuan deftly took it before she sprayed everyone. “But that’s not the point.”  </p><p>“What is the point?”</p><p>“The point is… why?”</p><p>“We don’t leave a verd behind.”</p><p>Teryn stared up at Paz for several long minutes. “We both know that isn’t true.”</p><p>She heard Din and Cuan inhale sharply, and Cuan’s hand squeezed her shoulder, but she continued to stare at Paz. <em>Look me in the face. </em>“It didn’t have to be like that. You and I both know it didn’t have to be like that.” He turned his head away in shame.  </p><p>“Thank you for coming after me. Thank you for saving my life. But I do <em> not </em> accept a debt.” Paz took breath and she held up her hand. “I am done talking to you right now.” She turned her back to him. She took the water back and continued to drink it. Cuan kept his hand where she could feel it, as grounding, and the Kid snuggled into her lap, seemingly oblivious.</p><p>Paz glanced at Din, who stared impassively back. “We will be out of hyperspace soon,” he said quietly, and went back up to the cockpit, Faris following.</p><p>Din thought this was an improvement- she and Paz had been avoiding this topic for nearly two months. There was always going to have to be some sort of reckoning. So far it didn’t involve an airlock, or knives, so he was going to call it an improvement.  </p><p>Once out of hyperspace, Din sent a signal to the Talon. Ordo responded with specific coordinates, and the Razor Crest landed near the Talon in a large clearing in some woods. When the hatch opened, Teryn looked at it with some trepidation, then at Din as he climbed down from the cockpit. She handed him the Kid, and he gave her hand a quick squeeze. <em> It’s okay.  </em></p><p>She stood up and swayed a little. “You should get the stabilizers checked.” </p><p>“We’re on solid ground and not moving.” </p><p>She squinted at him. “Sounds fake.”  </p><p>“You took a bunch of muscle relaxers,” Din said, smiling to himself. “You’re the one who needs stabilizers.” </p><p>“Also fake.”  Cuan chuckled to himself and took her arm to help her down the ramp, and she looked at him sternly. “I don’t need your help. I’m just accepting it because I <em> want </em> to.” </p><p>“Of course you don’t, cyar’ika.”</p><p>“You think you’re so fucking charming.”  </p><p>“Yes. And you do, too.” </p><p>She scowled at him, and he laughed, out loud. </p><p>The rest of the Tribe was waiting outside the Talon- the ship wasn’t small, but it was still quite tight with ten adults and fourteen Foundlings, and a large fraction of the Tribe’s possessions. The Armorer and Ordo had, after a careful scan of the area, decided it was a good idea to let everyone out into the fresh air once the Razor Crest had signaled that they were arriving without a tail.  </p><p>The Armorer walked over to Teryn and nodded. “Su cuy’gar.”  </p><p>Teryn nodded. “Seems so.” </p><p>“We would not have made it as successfully as we did without your warning. The Tribe is in your debt.” </p><p>Teryn looked at the people gathered outside of the Talon and closed her eyes in a sigh of relief. “I am relieved it worked.”  </p><p>The Armorer looked at Din and Paz. “Is he still alive?” </p><p>Paz glanced at Din, and shrugged. “I’m not sure. He might have been able to escape the barrage I leveled at the building.”  </p><p>“We’re not that lucky.” Teryn said. “He’s not going to stop until he gets what he wants and we are all dead, or someone separates his head from his body.” She shivered. “He’s never going to stop.”  </p><p>The Armorer sighed. Teryn was right, they weren’t that lucky. It was another thing to discuss with the other Covert when they arrived. </p><p>Paz pulled Faris from where the kid was hiding behind him. “This one has something to say to you, as well.” </p><p>The Armorer looked down at Faris, and Faris stared down at the ground and mumbled something. Paz swatted him lightly on the helmet, and Faris took a deep breath and looked up. “Ni ceta. I’m sorry that I snuck away and made everyone worry about me. I’m sorry that I disobeyed orders. I’m supposed to tell you I won’t do it again.” </p><p>Paz sighed heavily. Faris shrugged. “We all know I probably will.”  </p><p>The Armorer took a moment to control her own laughter. Yes, yes, he definitely would. “We were very concerned when we realized that you were not on board the Talon, Foundling. And we had no way of knowing if you were with your buir or not; we could only hope that you were. I will have to think upon what your punishment will be, but for now, you will go back on the Razor Crest, and stay there while everyone else eats. And I do mean <em> stay.”  </em></p><p>Faris hung his head. “Yes, alor.” He glumly walked back up the ramp and sat down in the hold. At least he could get a breeze from there.  </p><p>The Armorer raised her voice so everyone could hear. “It will be another several hours in hyperspace before we reach Samaki, and we don’t know precisely what will happen when we get there. Everyone should take this opportunity to eat and refresh themselves while we have the opportunity. There are no sentient life forms nearby, but do not wander far. We will come back to the ships in one hour.” </p><p>She meant that families could split off and remove their helmets- everyone would keep to their area, and if they had to move, they’d politely make a lot of noise to warn others they were coming. It was a system. </p><p>Din glanced at Teryn, head cocked in a question. <em> Are you okay if I go off with the Kid? </em> She nodded. Cuan went and grabbed some haashun and more water, and led Teryn off into the woods, away from everyone else. As soon as they couldn’t hear anyone else he ripped off his helmet and pulled her into an embrace, burying his face into her hair. </p><p>She clutched him back, and they stood, not talking, or moving for a while, until his stomach rumbled. He pulled back with a laugh, and he gently smoothed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She ducked her head with a smile, and they sat down.</p><p>She picked at the bread, and he just looked his fill of her. “You’re worrying very loudly about something.”</p><p>She stared down at the bread and nodded. “I’m worried what your tribe is going to think about you bringing a dar’manda home with you. I’m worried about what they’re going to say and what they’ll do.” </p><p>He nodded. That was entirely reasonable. “Well-”</p><p>“And… I mean, I assume you already have medics and doctors, so it’s not like they need me and my skills. They-” and she gestured vaguely in the direction of the ships and the Tribe and everyone, “-only let me stay because they needed me, and if they hadn’t been desperate I wouldn’t have even been allowed-” She took a deep breath, but the words were out. “I’m worried that I will make it more difficult and that I should leave, but there’s no way that’s a good idea because they’ll be able to find me and that’ll put everyone in danger and…. oh <em> shit </em> I am so high right now.”</p><p>Cuan chuckled. She was normally a lot more reserved. </p><p>“I mean, if I wasn’t useful they wouldn’t have come for me.” </p><p>“I can tell you that is not true. Your ori’vod didn’t even hesitate. And neither did your al’verde.” </p><p>“He just feels guilty. Which. Good.” </p><p>“Was he the one who kept you from coming home...after?” </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“You should not accept that debt.”</p><p>“I did shock baton him in the balls, but that doesn’t cancel anything out.” She grinned. “It was kind of great, though.”</p><p>Cuan paused and swallowed. “You did what?”</p><p>“No one told you? Remember the bruises when you first came?” He nodded. She grinned again. “We got into a fight and I ended it by hitting him with a shock baton in the balls. Would do it again, too.” </p><p>“Oh.” Cuan squirmed slightly, and she worried at the bread some more. </p><p>“What do you want?” Cuan asked gently. </p><p>“You keep asking me that,” she said, sounding a lot more whiny than she meant.</p><p>“Because I care about what you want.”</p><p>“No one else does.” </p><p>“I’ve noticed.”</p><p>“Even my stupid ori’vod. I love the utreekov but….” she made a disgusted sound. “I mean, earlier today I cancelled everything I had planned, so … is it still today? Time has no meaning.” </p><p>“I care about what you want.” he repeated. “That’s why I keep asking. So. What do you want?”</p><p>She looked down at his hands and blushed. He smiled and shook his head. “Not that, not right now. You are, as you just said, very drugged.” He took both of her hands in his. “What do you want? Assuming that you could do anything you wanted, and you didn't have to worry about your safety or anyone else’s safety, what would you do? What do you want?”</p><p>She looked at him, sad and uncertain, and then said softly. ”Yaim.”  </p><p>“Home?”</p><p>“I want a place to belong.” Her voice trembled and her eyes filled up. “I don’t belong anywhere.” He took her back into his arms again as she started to cry. Not the deep, wrenching sobs from before, but the tears of a deep wound being drained. He just held her until she stopped, stroking her hair. “And I want…” she paused. </p><p>“Go on.”</p><p>She pulled back and looked at him, tearstained and nervous. “I want… maybe to see if I belong in a place with you…” She ducked her head so her hair hid her face, and he very carefully used one finger to brush the hair away so he could see her face. </p><p>“Let me tell you something, ner LaarSenaar. When I see you, when I hear you, I feel yaim’la. I know it’s been only a few very… intense weeks, but…” he paused, and grimaced. “When I heard Gideon I was ready to burn all of Jelucan down. When you jumped… I thought….”</p><p>She took his hands and entwined their fingers. “Yaim’la?” <em> Comfortable. Familiar. Sense of  home. </em></p><p>“Yes.” He nodded. “I don’t know what they’re going to do or say. I think it’ll be easier for you, since most people take off their buckets at home. But we’ll figure it out. And we will try figuring it out together. Okay, cyar’ika?”</p><p>She smiled. A little uncertain, and a little tremulous, but a smile. “Okay.” He kissed her on the top of her head and let his forehead rest there. </p><p>“I belong with you, and you belong with me. We’ll find where we belong.” </p><p>It was a little circle of home. It would do for the moment. </p><p> </p><p>Back at the Ships, Din waited for them to come back. He’d come around on Cuan- a man who wasn’t in for the long haul wouldn’t charge into the maw of Gideon like that, and he had followed orders and hadn’t showboated. He clearly cared, and, a mercenary part of his mind whispered, maybe this relationship would make integrating the Coverts easier.  </p><p>He also worried how the new Covert would react to Teryn’s very presence, but that was a future problem. Along with where they would be able to set themselves up, and how all of this would work- for the most part these were problems for The Armorer. His main concern for his little clan of two was how they’d react to the Kid. Cuan had said that of course he was a Foundling, of course they’d help protect him, but saying and doing were different things.  </p><p>The Kid trilled from his feet- the little womp rat had managed to find tree frogs, but had nearly caught one before pulling back and shaking his head. He’d contented himself with chasing and not catching or eating, which Din suspected meant that the frogs were poisonous and that the Kid knew it. That was a good thing to know- the Kid wouldn’t indiscriminately eat things that were bad for him. </p><p>Din looked up to see Cuan and Teryn coming back and he could tell something was different. She had been crying, but she wasn’t stomping like she was angry. They looked… content and comfortable in a way that they hadn’t been before, at least where anyone could see.  </p><p>Well.</p><p>Cuan said something to her, and she nodded at him. She continued toward the Razor Crest while he went over to the Talon. Din tapped her arm. “You okay?” </p><p>She nodded, and then paused and said, “Not… really. Anxious. Tired.” </p><p>“We will figure it out. One step at a time.” </p><p>“Thank you. For coming back.”  </p><p>Din nodded. “I told you. I won’t abandon you again.” </p><p> </p><p>A few of the older Foundlings elected to continue on the Razor Crest, just for the space. They piled into the floor of the hold, chattering away, including the Kid. Faris sat in the sleeping compartment for a while, not sure if he was allowed to join in, but Din and Paz were in the cockpit, and eventually Faris slid over to the other kids.  </p><p>“What’s it like? Your Covert?”  </p><p>Teryn had been curled up next to Cuan, and had almost dozed off when Faris asked. Cuan chuckled. He was pretty sure the reason for the switch to the Razor Crest was planned just for this interrogation. </p><p>“We found an abandoned temple in a valley. It had been clearly abandoned for many years. It’s got several buildings that we’ve taken over, so there’s living spaces, and training, and there was even a functional kitchen.”</p><p>“So you’re not underground?”</p><p>“No. There are trees, and even a river.” </p><p>The Foundlings all glanced at each other. Outside? Trees? Rivers? They’d seen these things in books and holovids, and a few of them remembered them from before they were found, but mostly, this was all new. </p><p>“How do you keep it hidden?”  </p><p>“It’s far away from any population centers, and we have approaches that aren’t visible. And there’s a projection that hides the buildings from anyone who might fly above the valley.” </p><p>The Foundlings glanced at each other, and after some silent conference, they nodded. This all seemed quite acceptable. One of them looked at the Kid, who’d been sitting and listening with rapt attention. “I think the baby wants a story. Do you know any stories?”  The Kid glanced over, and then nodded when everyone else nodded.</p><p>Cuan smiled to himself. Sure, it was the <em> baby </em> who wanted a story. Of course it was. “I have one from a planet where men and women had very different roles- I know, it’s ridiculous, but go with me here.” he said as the Foundlings all exchanged incredulous looks. “You need to learn how other cultures work. Anyway, men had a lot of power and women didn’t have much, and one day their king went hunting-”</p><p>“Like, bounty hunting? Why would a king need to go hunt bounties?”</p><p>“...kind of, sure. Anyway, he ended up in the lands of one of his lieutenants, who had a rule about no bounty hunting on his lands, and a king should not be above the law. So he told the king that the punishment for breaking that law was death-”</p><p>The Foundlings all nodded in agreement. Yes, this they could understand. </p><p>“-but he would spare the king if the king could find the answer to the question, what do women want?”  </p><p>Teryn dozed off, lulled by the rumble of his voice. The future was coming, and the past still needed to be dealt with, but the present was warm, and safe, and for the moment, everything was in balance. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.</p><p>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p><p>The story Cuan is telling is based on the 15th century Arthurian poem "The Wedding of Sir Gawain and Dame Ragnelle." There are many version of this type of story, but I like this one the best.<br/>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wedding_of_Sir_Gawain_and_Dame_Ragnelle  </p><p>The literal translation of "thank you" in Mando'a (vor entye) is "I accept a debt." Teryn feels like she does not owe Paz shit at this point. </p><p>Mando'a translations:<br/>cyar’ika: Darling, sweetheart<br/>Copaani mirshmure’cye, ori’vod?: Do you want a smack in the face, bro?<br/>alor: Chief<br/>vod’ad: Nephew<br/>verd: Soldier<br/>Su cuy’gar: Hello - lit. *You're still alive.*<br/>Ni ceta: sorry (lit: I kneel) grovelling apology - rare<br/>haashun: parchment bread - a thin sheet of bread dried to preserve it, and reconstituted in liquid. Mando ration-pack staple. Made properly, it's so thin you can read through it, hence the name; 'see-bread'.<br/>al’verde: Commander<br/>utreekov: fool, idiot (lit. emptyhead)<br/>LaarSenaar: Songbird<br/>ner: my, mine<br/>Yaim'la: comfortable, familiar, sense of *at home*. Can also mean local to the speaker.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Epilogue: Look at where we are, look at where we started.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A epilogue of sorts. Gideon isn't dead, of course. They're not that lucky.</p><p>The end of Dar'buy'ce, but we will begin again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First, an explanation. I realized that the most recent chapter posted is really the beginning of the next story, and that Dar'Buy'ce ended with chapter 17. Organic, natural ends are good! </p><p>The next fic, Sha'kajir, will go up in the next day or so with two chapters- the first one that people have already read, with the Covert arriving at the new Covert, and all that entails, and the chapter after that. But I didn't want to leave Dar'Buy'ce without a button at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gideon emerged from the collapsing building, and looked around. This was not how things were supposed to go. They were supposed to attack the Mandalorians, and kill them. And he had been quite sure that the asset was with them- dead or alive, it didn’t matter.</p><p>He would have preferred alive, but. It didn’t matter. </p><p>Instead, his headquarters had been destroyed by one fucking girl- how did those idiots not notice the armor? How did she get her hands on weapons? He did they know to come get her, and how- HOW were they able to lay waste to half his troops in minutes with one crumbling ship? </p><p>One of his commanders hesitantly came forward to report that the Covert had been abandoned, and also heavily mined- they’d lost nearly a full squadron to the bombs. Gideon shot him where he stood.</p><p>Tracking Din Djarin’s ship was impossible. It was just too old. Tracking the other ship was possible, though difficult. They’d found the covert on Jelucan by a spy observing the Talon’s comings and goings over the past few months, and finally deciding to sell that information.  </p><p>They could find the Mandalorians again. They’d need a place to go to ground that had access to civilization in some way. Even a small group of Mandalorians couldn’t hide forever. Not when they had the asset he desired. </p><p>The death of their people was secondary, but would be that much sweeter when they knew that they had failed in keeping the asset from him. He would have many more helmets to add to his collection, and breaking Din Djarin and the girl? He would be able to enjoy that at his leisure. </p><p>But for now, his troops were in disarray, even his carefully chosen deathtroopers. Stormtroopers were a credit a dozen now- somewhat more expensive than during the height of the Empire, but still cheap. You got what you paid for in stormtroopers. </p><p>The fact that the dar’manda girl had killed two deathtroopers without batting an eye was a <em> problem</em>. He was taking them too early, they weren’t fully trained yet. </p><p>No matter. He was Moff Gideon. He had the Darksaber, he had time, and the training camps were full. </p><p>He could always find more children to throw into the grinder. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I made a Spotify playlist (Dar'Buy'ce) of all the songs T sings and where the chapter titles are coming from.<br/>https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5R2q3yZ0YAfiYpy7wEDpMw</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>And we're back!  A little earlier than I expected!  </p><p>Mando'a translations:</p><p>Ad'ika: Kid, little one<br/>Buir: Parent<br/>Viinir: Run<br/>Atin: Stubborn<br/>Shabuir: Jerk, but stronger (the cat is an asshole) </p><p>Looking at a posting schedule of Thursdays and Sundays.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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